to have sent this fb message?

[Muchadoaboutnuthing]

I HATE conflict, to the extent that people walk all over me sometimes as I'll do almost anything to avoid a row. on my last post a poster suggested that i may possibly be "a bit of a mug" and I couldn't disagree :)
I heard that a "friend" of mine was gossiping about my foster d recently, saying horrible thing about her behaviour and my "parenting" of her. Foster ds family are well known in the local area and fds behaviour is also well known. She has done some very silly things publicly and I expect it to be talked about to an extent. However not gossiped about by my freinds. Foster d has mental health issues which is known by this friend and as she hads a brother with intellectual disabilities I would have thought she would have had more empathy than some people. When I tried to discuss the matter with her she completely ignored me. She had a post on facebook last night saying that people shouldn't make fun of people with disabilities as they are people and have feelings. I totally agree with this by the way.
But I was fuming at the hypocrisy and sent her a pm telling her so. I said i thought it was hypocritical for her to be posting about being nice to people with disabilities when she's going round gossiping and bitching about a teen with mental health issues. I sent it in the heat of the moment and feel a bit bad now. Was it an unreasonable message to send? I would normally never do anything like this but I'm sick of people thinking that they can do or say as they like.

Yes it was, it's unreasonable to send any sort of message like that via FB regardless of who is right or wrong - because any conversation apart from the briefest of message should be done in person or by phone.

Delete or hide her from FB and ignore ignore ignore.

Yes it was, if you want to challenge someone about their behaviour pick up a phone and speak to them like an adult. I they won't discuss it sensibly with you the you need to re-evaluate your friendship.
It is wrong of your friend to gossip about your FDD but you're not going to solve anything by sending sniping messages in anger.

Thanks, yep, I felt it was out of order about 3 seconds after I had sent it. I've deleted her from fb now anyway. Think thats the end of that friendship.

I think most of us have said or sent something we shouldn't in anger, don't beat yourself up over it. At least you know to count to 10 before you click sned next time :)

YANBU unless it was public sometimes a type message is easier to construct. and get ur point across.

not unreasonable. Good for you !

YANBU. I'd unfriend her if it was me.

Just saw that you did delete her. Good for you :)

YANBU given her behaviour. Yes, if you were dead brave you could have done it on the phone or face to face, but you've already spoken to her about it personally and it had no effect, so you owe her nothing.

I personally don't see how its different to pick up the phone and do it than send her a message on facebook. Its still your words and your feelings, you're just using a website.

She sounds like an idiot.