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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have a have a spoilt brat moment.

2 replies

backinaminute · 23/03/2012 09:54

In fact I know I am being unreasonable but I'm just so pissed off and really need to rant to stop me making snide comments to DP which I'm trying not to do.

It's DS's first birthday this weekend. We didn't want to have a party as our house is too tiny, he won't know whats going on and we have a complicated family situation with divorced parents all round so need to dilute the pressure a bit. We agreed that we'll just have a bit of an open house with tea and cake. People who want to see DS on his birthday can call in to see him and it'll all be good.

However we've got a christening the day before and a family do on DP's side the night before which thank god I've got out of. When I was telling DP's sister about the birthday plans I made it clear that I'm not cooking and joked with her that it was so people didn't over-stay their welcome meaning her as she always does. Then DP goes and invites her and her DS back to our house after their family thing on Saturday night so they will be here in the morning on DS's birthday morning. Her DH is coming in the afternoon bringing MIL and her husband so clearly they are going to be here all day. I saw her yesterday and she was telling me how she's going to be here all day and to let her know who we don't want out-staying their welcome and she'll get rid of them!!

I know I'm being a stroppy bitch about it but I just know DP's family will all be sat round all day and my family that pop in will feel uncomfortable and like they are interupting. I just wish we hadn't bothered but it's too late to do anything about now. DP can't understand what the problem is and thinks it's lovely that she wants to help. I know she's well-meaning and I'm overracting but I just wish she'd piss off sometimes.

She loves DS and spoils him but she can be very possessive of him and I'm worried she'll be glaring at any one else that goes near him.

I'm so annoyed with DP for opening his big mouth but I know he's doing it out of kindness which is why I'm ranting here although actually I just want to have a massive tantrum and stamp my feet at him for being such a bloody people pleaser.

While I'm wallowing in my own self pity I'm angry that it won't just be the 3 of us for presents in the morning and that there'll be no time 'just us'. DP is so kind and close to his sister but sometimes she drives me a little bit crazy.

I know there are bigger problems in the world and I'm being a selfish brat about nothing and it'll probably be a really nice day but ARRRGGGGHHHHHH! Why can't things just go to plan for once?!

Rant over - sorry for the long rambling post.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/03/2012 11:00

"Why can't things just go to plan for once?!"

Because you're not communicating clearly as a couple. You're not being honest about your feelings or wishes and therefore YABU expecting your partner to read your mind and second guess what you want. Talk more. Talk often. Cover all the angles. Be honest about waht you want. Have an agreement that neither of you make plans without consulting the other. Yes, he will have invited his sister out of kindness to her rather than malice to you.

backinaminute · 23/03/2012 12:27

Thank you. I just needed a bit of perspective and it's hardly crisis of the century. I should stand my ground more you're right.

Basically his sister just gets on my nerves but they are really close and she's really well-meaning so when it comes to her I bite my tongue.

He does know but does this all the time and it is always completely out of kindness and on the spur of the moment which is what makes it so infuriating because I am always the mean one. He's always offering things that he later regrets.

Cheers though - sulk over.

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