To walk away from my daughter and hide around a corner because she refused to walk home

[misspedantic]

The other day my 7yr old daughter was hitting me whilst I was talking to other parents at school pick up. Whilst telling her off she kicked me. At that point I said that she couldn't play any more and that we were going home. We got out of the school gates but then she refused to move. After much arguing I decided that I would walk off and if she wanted to follow that would be her choice. I walked round the corner and every now and again looked to see if she was budging. It took sometime but eventually she had made her way to the end of the road. When she notice me she sat down again and refused to move. So I then walk off quite a way down the road and out of her sight. She eventually caught up with me.

The next day another parent from the school complained to the head teacher, who then called me into her office and raised her concerns that I had "abandon" my child... Am I being unreasonable in thinking that teaching your child that you're not going to stand around and wait for them to decide they are going to behave is the right move.

i use this tactic. I imagine HT had to followit up? What was her reactionwhen you explained?

I am that another parent reported you to the headmistress. I am even more that the head then called you into school. What business is it of theirs?
I know I have done very similar things with both my DCs (with one it was to illustrate the problems with them running off without me) and I'm sure most parents have. Your DD is 7 - not a baby. You could see her and kept an eye one her - what is hte problem??

I suppose the options are dragging the child off, would the parent who complained prefer that?

my mum used to do this to me as I had a tendency to be a bit of a brat at times. Fwiw I think it worked quite well when nothing else did. I'd be inclined to thank the head for her concern but tell her you had the situation under control and she can keep her big nose out

She didn't think that it was appropriate and that she still had concerns. I stuck to my guns and told her that if my daughter were to do it again that I would do the same thing. I also told her that I was fully aware that my daughter was feeling abandon and that was the whole point.

Tbh I have a 7 year old dd and am far more shocked that she was hitting you. I also have a 3yo ds who does this, and the 'goodbye' tactic is one I use in desperate situations. I do not expect to be doing it at 7 yo though.

I've done this to my kids on many an occasion. The alternative is dragging them home by the arm and frankly I cba.

YANBU at all. Bloody stupid woman! Any parent with a few brain cells would have realised what you were doing, and if the woman wasn't sure if you had abandoned your child or not she should have checked. I realise this would have looked like she was stalking you but that would have been better than her telling tales to the head teacher.

And your daughter is 7, not 2. She could probably have walked home safely by herself anyway (not that I'm advising that BTW)

As far as I am concerned, YANBU, I have done a very similar thing in the past with my DC. It would have prob looked worse to the onlookers if you had grabbed her by the wrist and physically dragged her down the street kicking and screaming!
I am, however surprised that the HT got involved, was she made aware of the circumstances and that you kept your DD in your sight for most, if not all the time?

She doesn't misbehave that often but when she does she blows. TBH she only started doing the not walking thing again lately. The hitting things is new too and I don't stand for it. I explained myself to the head in a very calm manner but inside I was fuming. I think I need to go into the school and speak to the HT again, as I feel that her intervention was uncalled for.

I think you did the right thing, but I'd leave it as far as the Head is concerned now.

I think you're right.

Thanks guys.... feel less of a bad mother now.

Yanbu. I'd do it with my 5yo who still hits and refuses to budge.

I think you were right, but leave the HT now.
And maybe have a chat with your daughter, outling a different consequence if she behaves like that again?

I do this often, even with 2yr old, if if stops and refuses to walk i take a few steps. (wouldn't move far, but ykwim)

Yanbu, other parent was!

You did the right thing, but what follow-up consequences have you imposed for the hitting etc.?

You are not wrong to use this tactic.

However if the school day has finished and you walk out of the grounds, leaving your child, you have technically abandon her.

The head has had to speak to you because she is accountable to follow it up, once a report has been made to the school.

I would just explain the reason why and then let it drop.

If you were to do that in a shop then they could call the police.

I'm actually more shocked at a 7 year old hitting and kicking you! As to the other - I have also done this in appropriate places ie not busy main roads.

YANBU. As others have said, once the head had been informed they did have a duty to follow it up, though I would say that technically it's not in their jurisdiction to take any action unless there was clear evidence of neglect or abuse taking place, which there obviously wasn't in this case.