this is what dh said to me an hour ago.
when you asked for my help when your father died, i spent five grand as well as not working for a whole week. I was bothered to turn up, but your uncles didnt.
there was a lot of other horrible stuff. before that was said, and for years and years before that. to clarify, he didnt manage to come till the third day, and my cousin had to call in favours so that he could get the visas to get there, I am talking about openeing up the embassy on a sunday. The kids still didnt make it to the funeral, and i will never forget thinking that all these random cousins kids were pallbearers and yet his grandson wasnt. I didnt ask him for help . I told him that the kids should be able to say goodby e to their grandad whom they loved very much. as for my uncles, they had all come and the two he is refering to, had to leave by the time he got there. four days later.
I am writing this here, coz i have a habit of forgetting the truly horrible stuff. and i dont want to forget this. I told him that by saying those words, he had canceled out any positives he might have made when my dad died. I also told him i want a divorce. we also have builders in the house right now. he will say that i am a screaming banshee because i screamed at him when he said that. I also chucked stuff at him. including his laptop, an empty coke bottle and the fairy liquid. that was in the kitchen, not the living room. I then had to go have a shower, because my pelvic floor had given way.
Im tired of the constant emotional and financial abuse. But i also dont think i have the strentgh for the fight the divorce will entail.