to be scared of sending my little ones to school

[ScarlettAlexandra]

they are both small now 3 and under and i do all the child care. after reading the threads about schools enforcing bed times attendance even when you little ones are ill. I'm pretty freaked out. please tell me all schools are not like a little dictatorship.

I was the opposite - really looked forward to DD starting school and becoming more independent (she's in Year 2 now).

It is hard, in that they'll come home grumpy and upset sometimes and you don't really know what's gone one - they are less within your 'control' iykwim (and I say that as the least control-freaky person I know - honest!)

However - DD loves school - she has wanted to be a teacher virtually ever since she started, has a lovely teacher who she was lucky enough to also have last year, and the Head is great too. As far as rules go - they are strict enough that the children (and parents) know the boundaries and what is required of them, but no-one has a purple fit if they wear grey socks instead of white or have a bit of chocolate in their lunch box (although they do frown on Frubes!).

My ds has just started school and he loves it and is very happy. He is also much easier to manage at home, as he is so stimulated at school (even though he was doing plenty before) that all he wants to do when he gets home is sit and play or colour quietly. It's fantastic!

I also took DD in about 15 minutes late the day after her birthday last year and bumped into the Head on the way in which was a bit as they don't 'do' any authorised absence at all (i.e. for holidays etc - they won't throw the book at you but they won't officially authorise/condone it either).

I said she'd had a late night as she'd had all her birthday celebrations after school the night before and I didn't think it was fair to drag her out of bed and rush around like lunatics. She just smiled and said, "I think that's a very good idea."

I think that if you choose carefully, build a good relationship and support the ethos of the school as much as possible, they will generally want to build a pleasant and supportive relationship with you too.

just do what plenty of the other parents should do, find yourself some backbone and tell the school to fuck off when they get confused and start doing the parents job.

Steiner=waldorf schools

Some school like diversity. My DS has dyed his hair all sorts of weird colours and grown it out long, they didn't blink an eye. His current school however allows weird hair but treats it as a freak thing.

Most teachers can be trained you just have to practise smiling, nodding and carrying on doing or not doing what you were doing.

The problem is uncooperative DCs who decide to comply with their lunacies.

Mind you even DD2 refuses to have water in her drinks bottle.

YABU. Ignorance is fear. If you want to know what goes on in your local school ask if you can see the place in action or ask other parents with children there. They do like children to attend, by and large. They don't dictate bedtimes but they do talk to children about how to stay healthy.

State - thank you that actually covers the stuff I was concerned about.

We found that visiting a few times adn getting a feel for the place, asign questions that were important to us (for us it was homework - didn;t want to much, about our DD being very young, parttime child care, how they dealt with any bullying and quality of food. We also spent about an hour chatting with the head and thought she was fab.

I also rang a few times about uniform but really it was to see what office staff and communication was about. The school we choose made us feel excited for our DD to go no scared

DD really looks forward to school (she is half way through reception). She comes home telling us all about how animals live, about things in the world and she has learnt to read her own books.

Also the scjhool day really isn;t that long. We're up around 7 (6 today!) and have a good few hours for breakfast, reading, plyaing the piano a bit and then getting to school. I get loooooooooads of housework etc done on my days off so when I see DD at 3 (which is only a few hours after lunch) we have most of the afternoonn left to be with her, go to the park, play out with her, etc. Then there are a few hours after tea too.

A thread like the attendance on focuses on one aspect, and an aspect that people would like changed. One aspect is unlikely to make up the sum total of your child's experience.

I was one of the ones who posted with the worst experience and the worst outcome on that thread. And I do not wish I had kept my dd at home.

The misery that came out of that one aspect was not the sum total of her school career. For a start, it was only one out of the three schools she has attended- the other two were lovely. Also, it did not affect all children in her class and even at that school- most children won't even have known it was a problems.

And even dd, even at that miserable time had hundreds of experiences that were exciting and wonderful and fun and that she will also be able to profit by and remember fondly in years to come: she learnt things, she made friends, she had fun at outings and in the playground, she had good inspiring teachers who made her think about things (maths teacher in Yr 6 springs to mind).

In hindsight I wish I had handled things better, had a clearer idea of what was acceptable (or indeed legal) from a school, been firmer and calmer and called them more quickly on unacceptable practices- and kept my paperwork better.

But I don't wish I had wrapped dd in cotton wool and kept her with me to avoid all possible harm. That would not be the way to teach the resilience needed to cope with life. (HE can be great for other reasons, but not this one).

im glad ive read so many positive experiences here. nice to know its not all bad :D

My DC1 - a teenager - would readily tell you that she loves her school.
DC2 quite likes school.
It'll probably be fine for you DC.