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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting them to have mentioned it at least?

9 replies

NoWayNoHow · 21/03/2012 19:46

DS and I have had a rotten run of luck in the health stakes. Between the 2 of us, we've been healthy for a grand total of 4 weeks since Christmas. He had gotten over his last very nasty bug (vomiting, 40C temp, shivers) a week before Mother's Day. I had had rotten sinusitis for about two weeks, finally shaking it a few days before Mother's Day too.

Mum and Dad came with my DSis for lunch on Mother's Day. Dad walks in the house and the first thing he does is cough ALL OVER me. Apparently he has a chest infection which he's on antibiotics for, and spends the first 2 hours of the visit lying sleeping because he's so ill!!

My poor sister has now been flattened with his cough, my glands are up with a headache and neckache starting, and DS is complaining of a sore throat.

I'm so furious because he's just wandered on in and made us both ill AGAIN - I've just started a new job and can't take time off (either for myself or for DS to cover when he's at nursery) and DH has solid work commitments for the next 6 days that are immovable (massive launch happening) so he can't take time off either.

I know they worship DS, which makes it even more annoying that they didn't think about him and how unwell he's been. I almost feel like they were selfishly just interested in seeing him and spending time with him without thinking through the consequences to him of spending time with them when one of them is sick.

AIBU in thinking that they should really have mentioned that he was sick before coming up? TBH I don't even know what I would've done with that information - I definitely would've felt pretty shitty cancelling mother's day celebrations and stopping them from coming up. But I just wish I'd had the option of thinking about it, weighing it up, talking it through with DH rather than not having any choice at all.

OP posts:
NoWayNoHow · 21/03/2012 20:02

bump

OP posts:
lucidlady · 21/03/2012 20:06

YANBU. It is a bit inconsiderate.

ramblingmum · 21/03/2012 20:09

Can they help out with looking after ds if he can't go to nursery or just to give you a break?

Thankgodforcaffeine · 21/03/2012 20:09

YANBU, they should have warned you

Lac365 · 21/03/2012 20:10

YABU. We've been the same. One thing after another.
Would never stop my parents from seeing DD.
If you're going to get it, your going to get it. You can't avoid life incase you catch something!

JustForMe · 21/03/2012 20:11

YANBU seems a bit selfish to me I wouldnt go near anywhere if I was contagious and expect others to do the same.

gamerwidow · 21/03/2012 20:13

I think yab(a bit)u. I get how it's frustrating to be ill again I have had cold after cold since christmas and having been well for a grand total of one day this weekend I am now ill again. However coughs and colds are part of life and you can't hide yourself away from everyone who is ill.
It would be different if they had come over with D&V or chickenpox or another illness that really does need quarantine but for anything else then I think it's ok for them not to tell you in advance.

WhenDoISleep · 21/03/2012 20:28

I think that YANBU in thinking that they should have mentioned it and given you the chance to postpone - given you had only just recovered from previous illness makes you slightly more vunerable to catching something else I always think.

TBH, given that your DF needed to have a two hour nap on arrival, it sounds like he was really not up to coming over, so either your DP's should have sensibly cancelled or your DM should have come alone.

I have much sympathy on the continuous illness front - DS started with a run of colds the first week of January, which I also had. He culminated in having the flu at the beginning of Feb - which took him most of Feb to recover from and I had an horrendous cold in parallel. He had a couple of healthy weeks before coming down with a cold, with a lovely D&V bug in parallel (which the rest of the house got) and now seems to have another cold straight away - which he has kindly shared with me.

I'm hoping that we can both kick the current cold in the next few days and get healthy, not least because DS2 is due imminently and I don't fancy labour/newborn days with a horrible cough, stuffy nose and pounding head.

NoWayNoHow · 21/03/2012 21:01

Thanks all. It's a mixed YABU/YANBU bag, so at least I don't feel totally unreasonable. Wink

Spoke to my mum, she just laughed it off Angry

I guess I'm just mostly upset that this child apparently means the world to them, but seeing him (from their own perspective, rather than his) ranks higher up on the list of priorities than keeping him well and not infecting him with something when he's already been so sick.

He's having a really restless night too, bless him. Think I'm going to hit the sack too

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