to expect a weekend away..

[minimouse88]

...when my partner is going on 2 stag weekends (1 in Madrid and 1 in London) plus a lads camping weekend between now and June. I asked him this morning if he'd pay for me to go away on a cheap weekend break somewhere with my friend, as he is having all of the above and he huffed and puffed saying that my thinking was "flawed" and that i was being unreasonable as i only wanted to do it because he was doing it. We have a 2 yr old DD and yes i think if he is having lots of planned breaks with friends to enjoy, then shouldn't i be able to have just one?

I gave up a career job due to us having to relocate for his work a few months ago so I now have none of my own money, apart from a little bit he gives me here and there. Feeling fed up and cheated and wanted to know what you ladies thought?

Take this as a cue to sit down together and go though your household income and outgoings. After fixed costs, any remaining funds ought to be shared jointly between you both. To spend on whatever you agree is fair. Only then can either of you decide whether one or the other is being cheated.

If he is uncomfortable sharing with you any money he has after your household costs are paid, then I think you've got more to worry about that whether you get to go on a weekend break or not

I can't believe you 'asked' him.

The main issue i get from your post is that he only gives you a little bit of money here and there. You need to be having a serious chat about that first.

thanks vivipru, great advice :)

Ditto to what vivi and Rosie said, especially vivi's last paragraph.

You want to go away because he's going away? That's not "flawed" thinking, it makes perfect sense and it's only fair for you to have a turn too :)

So he gets to have 3 breaks and doesn't consider it fair that you get one to refresh your batteries? Selfish wanker.

Agree with all the other posters that this doesn't seem to be an equal relationship.

How many would he consider fair until you are so unequal in your relationship that you want out? Because if this carries on for the next 1/5/10 years eventually you will have had enough of being a second class citizen in your marriage and want out.

Sit down and tell him that he is being selfish and unreasonable not you and that the pair of you need an equal and fair marriage.

Has he asked you if you mind looking after his child for 3 weekends on your own while he swans off with his friends? Or has he just assumed that you don't have any plans of your own?

Oh, and what vivi said too. With bells on.

Sorry to be harsh but it sounds like you are the unpaid nanny rather than his partner.

Agree that a weekend away is the least of your worries! Fair discussion on finances is needed urgently!

he is being a cunt. Its not flawed thinking to want a weekend away when hes having three