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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Primary School Children and Holidays

65 replies

curiousgeorgie · 21/03/2012 12:21

AIBU to think that most people take young DC's out of school for a term time family holiday? (cheaper, less busy etc)

My daughter isn't even in nursery yet, but after having a skim of the school attendance thread (Anything about schools fascinates me haha) and knowing that my neices and nephews, and some friends DC's are usually taken out of school for two weeks every year for holidays, I'm wondering how they get away with it!?

For example, my cousin (DC's 6 & 9) asked us to bring our DD to Florida with thewm, and that they would be going in October, because there will be hardly any queues...

Do you all do this?

OP posts:

Beanbagz · 21/03/2012 13:40

I have never taken DCs out of school for a holiday and have no immediate plans to in the future. I figure there's no point going for cheaper term time holiday and wasting the money i'm paying for their schooling.

Aliensstolemychildren · 21/03/2012 13:40

We have taken our children out of school for few days before or after the official school holidays. We do take price into consideration but mainly it's due to work commitments and everyone being in the same place at the same time . I have no problem for this as I might take my kids out for a few days, but the school allowed 6 weeks of curriculum time to practise the school play (they did other things too but 2/3 hours a day were spent on the play), this coupled with the fact that when teachers are sick they are not given supply teachers just TA's who I am sure do a good job. IMHO this doesn't show much respect from the school for the children's education and they get far more from a few days travelling than 3 days doing royal wedding themed picnics! (yes we took them out of school during the royal wedding because all the school had planned was 'fun' activities - so my kids went sailing in the canaries instead)

So I don't think it's wrong in all circumstances

Pozzled · 21/03/2012 13:40

It's very difficult to hide the fact you've been on holiday. Very few primary age children are able to lie to all their friends, and the tan usually gives it away as well.

ZeldaUpNorth · 21/03/2012 14:49

Ah see i wouldn't want my dd to lie about her holiday. I would simply tell the office they were "ill" so that it wasn't unauthorised. My dd is such a motormouth, she could never keep it secret lol. I am going to ask her teacher his opinion on what i should do for the best and take whatever advice he gives me. :)

ZeldaUpNorth · 21/03/2012 14:49

Also its not abroad, it Wales

nobutyeahbut · 21/03/2012 14:58

My dc's school used to authorise 10 days of holiday a year

When dd1 was in reception i booked a week long break, in between us booking it and going the school changed their policy. They decided they would not allow any holiday in term at all.

I got a £50 fine from our local council!

I appealed as i booked before the policy change but they said tough and i had to pay the fine. She was in reception, i didn't think having 5 days off would impact her learning to such an extent we should cancel our holiday.

After we booked a school trip to the theatre was arranged for the week we were away, i got us tickets and we went in our own time so she would know what everyone was working on when she came back.

I haven't taken dc's out in term time since.

Threeprinces · 21/03/2012 15:01

YABU, it certainly is not the case that 'most' people take kids out of school.

It is the same families who do it every year and it does actually impact on their schooling, perhaps not unconnected to the fact that those families are more likely to be the ones who don't respect the rules of school so therefore don't do homework, spellings, reading etc. either.

My eldest is in yr6 and I've taken him out once with very good reason (which would probably out me so won't say). On principle I disagree strongly with those who regularly do it.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 21/03/2012 15:05

I think when my DD is older I would probably do it if all you get is a fine?

Not when they're old enough to miss anything significant but when they're 5, 6, 7, 8 - surely they can't miss anything that you couldn't help them catch up on?

OP posts:

Blu · 21/03/2012 15:11

We have never taken DS out of school for a holiday, and nor would we unless it was on a once only extreme basis, for example the only opportunity during the 6 years of primary to visit the ILs abroad.

None of DS's friends have been taken out of school for holidays, either. Not because they are rich and able to afford peak prices, they just camp, visit relatives who live somewhere nice-ish or find whatever can be afforded. Or stay home.

PiousPrat · 21/03/2012 15:11

I've taken my eldest 2 out for a couple of days every year now for about 6 years. When written like that, it sounds quite bad and as if I don't value their education, but each time it was with both the Head and the class teacher's blessing, was a Friday and Monday to enable a long weekend and was for a festival, so right at the end of the year. Every time the teachers agreed that they would get a lot more out of being at the festival than taking down posters and tidying up workbooks and the last time we went, DS2s teacher asked us if we could get a book autographed as DS had mentioned an author who was going to be there in the literary tent. Of course that sneakily meant that DS2 had to go and listen to the book reading first before he could get it signed, so he was still doing teacher instructed learning from 50 miles away from school

Saski · 21/03/2012 15:16

I actually just booked our first "term time" holiday, my kiddos (aged 6 and 9) are both missing 3 days of school. I have no plans to lie about it, I agree it's wrong to put your child in that position, I don't really care what the school has to say. Why on earth should I feel bad about taking my (young) kids out of school when I'm the one responsible for ensuring that they're coping with their schoolwork? The cost of our holiday was halved in doing so.

troisgarcons · 21/03/2012 17:45

AIBU to think that most people take young DC's out of school for a term time family holiday?

YABU to assume everyone does it. I don't.

I have once, when we were going home and the flights were unavoidable via RAF and flew on a Tuesday. Had they run a service that flew on w/ends I wouldnt. Funerals are unavoidable unfortunately.

people · 21/03/2012 18:04

No, most people don't do it, the vast majority ensure their children are in school whenever they are well enough.

As to it being harmful, I think it is. It might not affect their reading ability etc especially when they are young, they can probably catch up on a few days quite easily, but it does give them a pretty clear understanding of how important their parents think school is.

mummytime · 21/03/2012 18:13

I have taken my kids out: once for a holiday when the eldest two were in primary and we had barely seen their father for months - 1 week. A long weekend for a funeral. A couple of days after they moved the end of term after I had booked the flights. A day (for one child as an unauthorised absence) at the very end of the summer term, to travel to a wedding. I think that is it.
I have friends who have done it every couple of years, but that was to visit relatives in Australia (and lately they have taken work with them).

BlueFergie · 21/03/2012 18:13

It's always an eye opener these threads. I'm in Ireland and taking kids out during term time is fairly common. My parents used to take us out for three weeks every June. Never got any grief for it and had no negative impact on my sisters or I. We nearly always missed the end of year class party though (summer hols start at end of June here) .
DD is in her first year of primary now, and we will be taking her out for two weeks in June. I spoke to her teacher about it and she was fine. She confirmed what I suspected that the curriculum is all well covered by June so she won't be missing anything new. I offered to do work with her while away and she said it was not necessary, that travelling and seeing different places are important learning experiences too and beneficial to kids. I have a friend who is also a primary school and she said the same thing.
You can't take the piss though. Anymore than 20 days absence a year whether authorised or not and you are referred to authorities for investigation. This is new since I was at school as between illness and the 3 week hol every year I would have missed more than 20 days. Yet I still ended up with a respect for education, the best exam results in my class, two degrees and a post graduate professional qualification!

aldiwhore · 21/03/2012 18:18

Threeprinces do you have some statistics to back that claim up? My eldest is ahead of his peers in most subjects, maybe he's in the minority.

I respect why other people choose not to, I have valid reasons for choosing to take holidays during term time, its not fair to dismiss those to chosse to take holidays outside of school holidays as lazy, uncaring parents because that is bollocks frankly.

Not everyone has a predictable life, not everyone fits into the 9-5 monday to friday mould with annual leave...

I think school is important. I also think LIFE is important. School is only part of life and sometimes life outside school comes first. I am not harming my children fgs.

kerala · 21/03/2012 18:19

I did it when DD was in reception because I misunderstood days off for Easter/Royal wedding last year and thought the school was closed when it wasn't and had already booked . Don't think its a great idea actually gives a bad message to the child and the child bound to miss out on things. DD was horrified that she had to miss 2 days of school due to my mess up.Also a pain for the teacher no doubt. Fair enough if you have parents in NZ or something but just for a cheaper holiday think thats rather questionable. Also not so smart as then you have to entertain them over the real holidays - there is a reason why "everyone" holidays in August!

usualsuspect · 21/03/2012 18:22

I did when mine were at primary school

troisgarcons · 21/03/2012 18:27

195 academic school days = 39 full school weeks.

99% attendance = 1% non attendance from 195 = 1.95 days (so thats 2 days really)
98% - 2% = 3.9 days (so thats 4 days)
97% - 3% = 5.85 days (so already a week and a day)
96% - 4% = 7.8 days (so over a week and a half)
95% - 5% = 9.75 days (2 weeks)

94% - 6% = 11.7 days
93% - 7% = 13.65 days
92% - 8% = 15.6 days (already upto 3 weeks off)
91% - 9% = 17.55 days
90% - 10% = 19.5 days (4 weeksoff now )

85% - 15% =29.25 days (6 weeks now)

80% - 20% = 39 days ( just shy of 2 months)

So to put that in perspective, 93% attendance is a day off every 3 weeks, 90% is a day off every 1.5 weeks, 80% is a day off every week.

muminthecity · 21/03/2012 19:13

I'm doing this next week. DD is having the last 1.5 days of term off, approved by the head. She will not miss anything as Thursday afternoon will be taken up by the spring concert and Friday will mainly be free play rather than actual lessons (I know this as I work in the school.)

My sister is taking her away to visit family, I will be joining them Friday night when I finish work for the holidays. DD is 6 and in Y1, I probably won't do it again but I don't think it will do any harm as a one-off.

Scholes34 · 21/03/2012 19:14

Have done it once to go to a wedding in the US - all DCs in primary school, oldest already had done SATs.

Agree with Worra - holiday within your means during the school holidays. We've camped most years - a great way to spend time together. Can't beat playing cards in a tent whilst it's raining outside! Keeps the children we see less and less of because of their busy lives captive. I just have to draw lots with DH on who's making the next batch of tea or hot chocolate.

Saski · 21/03/2012 21:25

Threeprinces: If you told us why you took your son out of school, you would be "outed"? Really?

sunshineandbooks · 21/03/2012 23:32

I wouldn't take my DC out of school for a simple holiday, but I have and would take them out for an important family function, since IMO these can be as educational and more important for their sense of self, identity and belonging than anything they do in school. My family is thin on the ground and scattered all over the world. I also cannot afford to travel around and visit them very often. Therefore, when the richer element take the trouble to visit the UK and organise accommodation for us to all get together, I take advantage of it. It's the only opportunities my DC get to meet their family.

Hopandaskip · 22/03/2012 00:18

We've done it many times, all with the blessing of the school. We almost always have a contract set up with the school with work to take with us. We also almost always take educational sort of trips, science museums, National Parks, that sort of thing. We've also taken DS#1 out for training. He missed over 8 weeks one year when he was hmm, 12?

I personally think he is a more rounded person because of it and it helps his studies in the long run. He is doing European history this year for instance and some parts of the class were much richer and more relevant to him because he has seen those places himself.

Threeprinces · 22/03/2012 01:59

Threeprinces: If you told us why you took your son out of school, you would be "outed"? Really?
Saski, any need for that?? It was an unusual one which led me to break my strong belief that it is generally wrong. And actually more detail may well out me if anyone i know is on here, but thanks for asking...

Aldiwhore - re evidence, have heard some from an education welfare officer, will ask her for details but it'll probably take a few days to get back.

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