to be shocked that 50% of relationships have experienced a violent incident?

[PatButchersEarring]

..this statistic was aired on The Wright Stuff this morning. Now, I'm not sure where they've got their figures from, or what was classed as 'violence', but assuming that they mean physical violence AIBU to be genuinely gobsmacked?

YANBU. That really surprises and worries me too.

That is quite a high figure, I wonder about the wording of whatever survey it is based on?

Yanbu. That is high, much higher than I would have guessed.

it may include emotional abuse, this is considered domestic abuse too (sadly not by all though)

yes that is shocking, it is too high i am not sure but the statistics of domestic violence (once you have looked more into them how many times someone is abused before going to the police for example) it is frightening especially when you are aware so much goes unreported it is very hard for someone to report gaslighting, stalking, intimidation, marital rape, financial abuse as they are often so caught up on it they are unaware to see it themselves and what can you report my partner only gives me enough money to buy basics

Officially 1 in 4 women suffer domestic violence in a relationship during their lives.

The real figures are felt to be closer to 1 in 3.

2 women a week are killed by their partners.

Expect this year for the figures to rise, as they always do during Sporting Events, World Cup, Euro, Olympics... and this year we are hosting them, so I'd expect the rise to be even more marked than on an ordinary Olympics year where the event is held elsewhere.

Domestic Abuse - and this includes verbal, financial, sexual and emotional as well as physical abuse is surprisingly common. Thankfully it's becoming a subject that is less of a taboo to talk about, but nonetheless unacceptable in all it's forms.

YANBU to be shocked.

If anyone reading this needs support, there are links on the Relationships Board at the top and there are running support threads for those in abusive relationships.

I wonder what's included as a violent incident?

I once slapped DH a couple of times on the shoulder, many years ago. Not my finest hour, didn't hurt him, and has never been repeated, but it was physical violence.

I guess we'd be in the 50% then.

Crikey Houdini- I didn't know that about sporting events. That is awful. Does anyone know why it may be? I'm guessing because of increased alcohol consumption & testosterone levels.

OneHand. I'm also wondering if it's including that sort of thing.

I also once threw a taco at DP. Again, not exactly proud & hasn't been repeated, but I guess could be classed as violence.

OneHand - also wondering as I slapped DH a couple of times in an argument many many years ago. Nothing like it has happened since but I bet it covers this sort of thing at one end of the spectrum to full on continued domestic violence.

PatButchersEarring

In some places police have attended 'at risk' families before the football / sporting event and warned them not to take it out on the family if a team lose and it seems to reduce the numbers eith by the person being warned acting differently or some members of the family staying elsewhere for a night.

Also remember that although it is mostly men inflicting violence on women, sometimes it is the other way round and it also occurs in same sex relationships.

Sashh - in fact, if they're using a broad definition of violence (including slapping, throwing things, etc) then it's pretty evenly done by male and female partners. The higher levels of male violence only show when you look at hospital admissions, convictions, fleeing spouses in hostels etc.

And yes, if they're using something like the conlict tactics scale, which includes all forms of physical aggression, I think 50% is probably about right.