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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think there is far to much emphasis on school attendance

393 replies

Starwisher · 21/03/2012 03:55

My dd1 is in year 1. I got a letter telling me off the other day as her attendance has only been 92% when it should be 95% to date. Apparently the educational welfare officer will be keeping a close eye on us...

For goodness sake, dd has been ill! They know this, yet I still get the letter.

Im sick of parents smugly telling me how they just "bung a bit of calpol in the kid and chuck them in school" so they dont need to miss out on the gym or shopping.

They are the one's getting everyone else ill and causing more problems so they can avoid a sick child, yet get rewarded with attendance certificates.

I try and do the right thing and stop dd spreading bugs and getting better at home- and get in trouble.

What is with OFSTED threatening to drop a schools rating if attendance is below some target figure? What if a particular nasty bug is doing the rounds- why should a school be penalised? (Another reason why OFSTED means nothing)

Im not saying attendance is not important but its becoming ridiculous!

OP posts:
Mrbojangles1 · 21/03/2012 14:46

SparkleRainbow don't agree if a child is sick the only reason why you would be doing a shop is if you have no food and woud starve if you didnt shop at that time

If for inatsnce your child had the squirts why would you then take them of a full shop at tesco as opposed to running in to the local shop grabbing some eggs bread and beans for tea ECt

SanctiMoanyArse · 21/03/2012 14:47

Besides, MrBojangles- say if there was a child in teh class with immunity disorders

And there could well be, you would not know-

Is it OK that they are placed at risk of severe illness by the 'just calpol them' brigade? because i have known children acquire pneumonia that way!

Also YY to assumptions absed on seeing a child in Tesco- I know too many HE'd, or who simply do not have a FT school placement due to their SN, to ever risk that. DS1 was often given half days after visits to his SN Comp Base during transition as otherwise he would be unteachable afterwards and a risk to other classmates from the stress.

Mrbojangles1 · 21/03/2012 14:49

You would only be doing a full tesco shop if you knew your child was not really poorly or unless their were really I'll and you were just being crule

I live in a city the tesco is no ones nearst shop it's on a industrial estate in the middle of nothing

Mrbojangles1 · 21/03/2012 14:53

SanctiMoanyArse I say agin if a child is I'll the place for them is at the doctors if not their then in bed not slapping around tesco while while mum looks at the price of pickles

Why would you go to tesco with a child so I'll they couldn't go to school rather than pop to the local corner shop unless

You live in the sticks were its quicker to go to tesco

If they to sick to sit at a desk they should be in bed not shopping

Mrbojangles1 · 21/03/2012 14:54

I not taking about people who are allowed to do half days due to lack of places

We are talking about people who are out and about with their children while also saying their to sick to be at school

swallowedAfly · 21/03/2012 14:55

what rubbish that a child who is genuinely ill should go to the doctor. what a waste of doctors time - you don't take a child to the doctor the first day it has an upset stomach or vomitting for goodness sakes the same as you wouldn't go yourself. you wait and see if it's a 24hr bug, you administer fluids a plenty and monitor. if after 48hrs it's still going strong you would call the doctors.

if your child has a temperature and is groggy and very drowsy you shouldn't send them to school but you don't need to call the doctor either.

SparkleRainbow · 21/03/2012 14:58

Mrbo - I am confused, I didn't make any reference to a school nurse. Also I am intrigued, your dc schools has a school nurse, really who checks the children before they return to class. hat is fanastic, what la is that in. I have worked for LA in london and birmingham and my dc attend school in another part of midlands and no school have ever had an on site nurse.
I do appreciate a full shop at a supermarket is excessive, but I can totally foresee needing to shop even if you have a child who is unfit for school. I think sancti and I are on the same page here, making judgements about whether a child spotted in the supermarket should be at school or not is not a reasonable judgement to make, we just do not have the facts.
The question is more how to school support attendence whilst not penailising the unwell, spreading infection further etc.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/03/2012 15:00

I haven't come across a state sector school with it's own qualified nurse in ......well ...ever.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/03/2012 15:01

Sorry to clarify schools do have nurses but they are not based in the school and ususally cover several within an area and are qualified registered nurses.

devon0000 · 21/03/2012 15:04

It's the 100% attendance certificates which get me too. DD2 was sick in half term and therefore, didn't have any time off school. DD1 was ill the 1st day back with presumably the same bug. Therefore, didn't get certificate. DD1 ended up blaming DD2 for her missing out.
Other issues included getting a call from school asking me why dd's weren't inschool during Dad's funeral. I had advised them but no note was made in register's. Grr
It's a real shame that these systems do not make allowances for genuine illness.

JaneB1rkin · 21/03/2012 15:10

I haven;t read the entire thread but I very much agree with the OP.

We had a threatening letter like that a few years ago. I rang the EWO and they said they'd never heard of us - it's all stupid posturing by the school, ignore and ignore again. Carry on doing what you are doing - they will be quick to tell you off for sending in an ill child though some parents here are perpetually armed with antibiotics and calpol for their child to be given at school.

I think that's inappropriate in a lot of cases...if they need medicating, they're probably best off at home, though clearly if it's something that happens all the time and they're not that ill, it's got to be done.

Worra, mine are both off with chicken pox, and yes, we went out to the swings today, and ds2 is mostly just scabs now but he has one or two which are still a bit yuck. You just wouldn't notice them.

And that's why he isn't back at school yet. Also I like to be able to apply cream and so on, to stop him scratching them off, which I can't imagine the school being happy to do.

Schools have got this tactic really very wrong indeed as it does often mean sick children are sent back too soon and infect everyone else.

SparkleRainbow · 21/03/2012 15:11

100% attendance certificates were one of the factors that tipped my ds over the edge and started talking about suicide because he was ruining everybodies lifes.... all for the sake of a school assembly designed to promote improved attendance in a middle class school that has engaged parents, and no real attendance issues. My ds was not quite 8 at the time....now tell me he needed to be on the receiving end of that as well as living his life in permanent pain. Priorties surely...please....(ds has moved school now to one that loves him and cherishes him and truely believes in inclusion and would never dream of sending out a letter which started this thread - there are good places with the right priorities out there)

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 21/03/2012 16:18

Oh, I'm sorry the certificates (or lack of) etc. had such a bad effect on your DS Sparkle. I'm so glad you've found a more supportive school for him now.
Completely agree with you about "priorities" and JaneB "Schools have got this tactic really very wrong indeed"

cory · 21/03/2012 16:23

Mrbojangles1 Wed 21-Mar-12 14:14:19
"Sorry but their is a stong link between low attainment and poor attendance."

Sorry, but you can't cure a child who is ill by pointing out that she is ruining her future chances. Dd's school tried that tack for years. All it did was to make her want to kill herself because she couldn't cope with the thought of the life ahead.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 21/03/2012 16:28

Also, even if there is a strong link between low attainment and poor attendance it doesn't necessarily mean that it is a causative link. It could be one factor amongst many in that child's environment affecting their development.

Heswall · 21/03/2012 17:01

I wouldn't mind betting there's a link between stress and low attainment too but nobody has any interest in addressing that, just pile the pressure on the children and I'm sure that'll get the best from all Hmm
Don't worry we can always pump them full of anti depressants to keep them going it's just a natural progression from calpol anyway.

Floggingmolly · 21/03/2012 17:13

I would imagine there is, Heswall, I just don't think duvet days on demand are an effective way of addressing the issue.

Angeleena · 21/03/2012 17:15

Sorry, haven't read all the pages but I feel attendance is important in secondary school and friends who maybe took their children out of school for holidays or just made it obvious they didn't think attendance was a big deal have children who, now older, seem to have a similar attitude to work/college.

I was paranoid v strict about my kids attending school and they went on to get jobs in the holidays or weekends which they happily got out of bed for regardless, and now have good careers. I think there is a link.

petitema · 21/03/2012 17:21

I had a letter about DD1's attendance last year and was hauled up to school for a lecture about how she wasn't reaching her potential. She was ill. Angry this makes me so f*cking mad.

Heswall · 21/03/2012 17:25

Luckily for me they aren't demanded very often as we both work full time and have other children, but frankly I wouldn't object to a member of my team taking a mental health day as we call them so I certainly am not going to pack an ill or tired child off to school.

Heswall · 21/03/2012 17:27

So Angeleena What about all the children that attend regularly and haven't got good careers where do they fit into your scientific study ?

piratecat · 21/03/2012 17:37

petitema, i hear you, i have had the same.

despite saying to head, and crying in his office that i do EVERYTHING i can to ensure dd gets to school.

we have had stress/emotional type illnesses brought on by dd's relationship with her father (or lack of). We have has ongoing depressive episodes, constant fevers when she was 5-8, she picks up every single bug going. Has been hospitalised twice.

I am a single mum who has the word guilt tattooed on my forhead, and the stress it has causes has severely tainted dd's schooling, and my attitude.

It does not matter what i do, i feel like the worst mother in the world, and i have told the head and ewo, that all i want is for her to be well. i am dreading yr 6, with the sats etc. dreading that awful feeling when she is ill, that i am letting her down.

youarekidding · 21/03/2012 17:38

YANBU.

I don't agree with sending a child to school whose had calpol - if they've had it in the morning then it would have worn off by lunchtime.

Yes, I would go in if I had paracetamol but the difference is I can take more if I need to have it and decide to.

SparkleRainbow · 21/03/2012 17:40

A very good point youarekidding.

SanctiMoanyArse · 21/03/2012 17:41

MrBJ you are not listening

It is standard school policy to refuse a child access if they ahve been soick, even if they know it is becuase of an allergy or too much exertion after lunch.

Tesco is my closest supermarket- not sticks but still closest shop. Not that Tesco is any different to Sainsbos or IKEA afaics.

If my child is barred from school due to policy but not ill I will take them out and about and make a day of it. if they are ill they spend it on sofa with calpol and a book.