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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to get up for my husband

44 replies

shotinfoot · 20/03/2012 22:36

DH has a favourite side of the sofa. Actually, it's both of our preferred sides. It's furthest away from the windows (and the cold), has a side table and near the laptop lead.

If I am sitting here and DH comes in he always insists I get up. Says he can't sit on the other side - some bollocks about him being left handed.

Often he will just stand there until I move, and say that I am petty if I don't.

Tonight I have refused, I've been sat here for hours while he did something else, my laptop is plugged in and I'm not moving it.

He has refused to sit at the other end of the sofa and is lying on the floor in front of my purposefully ignoring me.

OP posts:

Bletchley · 21/03/2012 07:35

I think the real problem is that you haven't arranged your sitting room to accommodate both of your comfortably. Get an extension cable and sort it out! But no, in the meantime, of course it isn't "his" seat.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 21/03/2012 07:43

We too haves however if he does sit on my side he will offer to move, I do not ever say yes.

Bubbaluv · 21/03/2012 07:48

That's so selfish of him! I can't believe an adult could be so ridiculous (unless they are pregnant )

notapizzaeater · 21/03/2012 07:58

Buy another sofa ?? We both like the same side so we got 2 .... Now I just have to shove the dog off my seat

diddl · 21/03/2012 08:05

Whilst he was lying on the floor in front of you, did you use him as a foot rest?

Annpan88 · 21/03/2012 08:08

leave the bastard

JustHecate · 21/03/2012 08:11

I have a chair and I make my husband get out of it. I just can't sit anywhere else

Luckily, he just laughs at me and moves.

But - he doesn't care. He'll sit anywhere. That's the difference. If we both preferred that chair, then there's no way I'd be so selfish. And that's what your husband is being.

WaitingForMe · 21/03/2012 08:12

This never happens to me.

Because when we were first dating DH explained that he "drove" the bed and the sofa. I was a touch perplexed until he said this meant he went on the right hand side as though he was driving a car.

I was laughing so hard I just conceded.

nenevomito · 21/03/2012 08:24

I have a preferred side too and I do kick the children out of it but not DH. If hes there I sit elsewhere as I'm not an arse!

Catsmamma · 21/03/2012 08:29

I have my chair...in the corner, laptop and table with lamp, but i have the worst view of the tv, but i tend to listen rather than watch cos I potter on here.

Here everyone has to sit around the dogs, there's not much will move a sofa sleeping gsd once they have settled for the night.

He is being a tad Victorian imo! sooooo YANBU!

RabidEchidna · 21/03/2012 08:32

You both sound childish

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 21/03/2012 08:34

We have one each. Mine is more comfortable but DP's is bigger and has a better view of the telly. If I sat on his, maybe because I was sewing and needed to be nearer the light, he'd sit on mine and we'd swap back when I'd finished.

EightiesChick · 21/03/2012 08:42

His actual behaviour is poor. Sitting on the floor and 'asking' you to move is ridiculous and rude.

On the sofa front, leaving the twattery aside, if you both like the same seat you either have to get a second sofa (though poss still problems with the window positioning etc) or you have to share it. One night you, next night him.

This sounds so extreme as a thing to get worked up about that I can't help thinking it's the tip of the iceberg. leave the bastard. Is he like this with other things?

JustForMe · 21/03/2012 08:45

My dp has a side it happens to be the corner and he then uses the excuse of not being able to do things because he's in the corner.

Although if I sat there he wouldn't insist I move lol

TrinityRhino · 21/03/2012 08:52

I do think you need to organise your seating and living room so that the both of you have a seat and what they want in that seat. Cant be that hard

But he is being a twat

lambethlil · 21/03/2012 08:53

Good for you for for staying put.

We have one comfy and one ridiculously uncomfortable sofa. We share. If DH is home much later than me I'll move, but he'd never ask.

We are planning on moving stuff around and getting 2 comfy sofas, but are putting it off as it will be the Official start of Middle Age.

Original poster

shotinfoot · 21/03/2012 09:52

Good feedback - thank you.

It is the tip of the iceberg really. He's not controlling in a sinister way, just spoilt.

I let him do most of the cooking as he likes to choose what we eat. This is a decent trade off in my opinion but still irks now and then.

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 21/03/2012 10:07

Leave the bastard, but cut the sofa in half and take your side with you.

KatAndKit · 21/03/2012 10:35

Since I have moved in to my boyfriend's house I have successfully "taken over" his side of the sofa which is now MY side with the cushions set up how I like them etc. I suspect this is because I spend significantly more time with my arse on the sofa....
However I wouldn't ask him to move if he was sitting down. That's just silly. If I had something really against the left of the sofa I'd just sit on the chair instead.

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