Long-time lurker, first time poster, blah blah vagine, bungalow in the back yard, I'm not a troll.
I'm in my 30's and have had a very up and down relationship with my mother since my teens, but in my twenties we became a lot closer. I've never seely seen her as a mum, more of an older sister.
My mother works in a caring profession and a few years back ended up trying to take an overdose of painkillers to end her life. This was because of several different issues stemming from her workplace essentially abusing her verbally and psychologically, money trouble and the death of a friend.
It managed to put her into a psychiatric hospital and she had a complete mental breakdown.
A year later and she had a new job, seemed a lot happier and her previous employers had admitted they were at fault. She was brought home jibbering and completely useless - she'd taken drugs again. But when she came back to earth she was adamant that she hadn't taken it herself - she'd been slipped it by a co-worker that was going to get fired, and saw her as the reason for it. We believed her, as did the police.
She is currently attending CBT, has moved on to a new job and is working through a lot of issues. I saw her on Mothers Day and she was so happy. Normal, bouncy, just like she should be.
I've just received a call - she's taken drugs again. I'm so disappointed in her. She's completely out of it, taking bollocks and not making any sense. I can't go and see her because I live too far away and my partner has work commitments. I feel so totally and completely helpless right now.
What do I do? How do I get her to stop all of this stupidity?! I don't know what to believe any more and I can't believe she's done this. I'm sat here with my hands shaking and tears just streaming down my face. I'm so upset with her - why does she want to die so badly?! And if it's not a suicide attempt then what is it?!
I just don't want to lose my mum.