seagulls are the petty thiefs of the criminal bird underworld.

[Tortington]

...........and magpies are the mafia

I got shited on by a fucking sea gull in Gloucester.

If ever you see family's in a tight huddle on St Ives beach they aren't exchanging deep dark secrets. They are eating pasties.

Oh and please stop going to St Ives there are too many people there.

You need to be specific when it comes to gulls. You mean the sort that steal your pasty and shit on your head don't you, i.e. a herring gull or a blackheaded gull.

I won't let kittiwakes be thus tarnished.

( Norfolk, don't even hint at it).

yukky seagulls. A few years back my now DH and I went for romantic day out in the lakes and bought a cone of chips each. A seagull swooped down, flew straight into my head (will never forget the silly little thud sound it made on the side of my temple), stole a load of my chips and flew off. .

Needless to say I threw the rest of my chips in the bin (fear of seagull germs) and anti-bac'd my head (much to the hilarity of now DH). He did share his chips with me though :o

loweryblue Mon 19-Mar-12 21:22:56
wood pigeons are sex maniacs

LMFAO!

We get loads of massive seagulls here and we're miles in the coast. I have a lovely riverfront office which just means that every-night a huge contingent of seagulls fly over car park to perch with menaces on the ridge lines of the offices and then drop shit all over our cars
Thankfully they don't stop near my house but they make a great racket as they fly over and as I said we're miles inland.

There'd be nothing petty about it if a black-backed gull took a fancy to your chips. They are huge.

Woodpigeons - well at least they're sort of normal sex maniacs. Its ducks (or rather, drakes) which are the ones to worry about. Gang banging is common and they've won an Ignobel Prize for gay necrophiliac sex.

I'd say seagulls were more like muggers than petty thieves, given that they'll happily beat you up for a single chip. Arseholes.

Grimma duck induced !

Saluting Magpies

I love magpies, they are beautiful.

We've got fucking massive voyeur seagulls. They sit on the skylight in my bathroom and watch me bathe.

I like gulls . They have character.

Some species of gull can aim their shit to punish creatures that upset them. They also vomit with deadly accuracy. They seem to have evolved a reserve tank for fermenting said shit and vomit to weapons-grade levels whenever shock and awe is required.

Have you seen a cormorant shit? It raises its backside, lifts its tail and squirts the shit about two yards. It's impressive.

I should add that none of the above marks them out as 'petty' offenders.

Ariel Penguins are impressive shit squirters too. But penguins don't fly so it's a limited form of attack.

Seagulls are bastards. They stole my pasty out of my hand then stole my chips later the same day. Either that or they are trying to get me to stick to my diet...

Mine...mine.

Mine, mine, mine....mine

Mine

Mine....mine

I knew beautiful

I always thought it was mike, mike mike Mine mine mine makes more sense

I was to learn that seagulls are a protected species. There was a fire engine along the road a few weeks ago with the big ladder up. I couldn't see a fire or smell smoke so I wondered what they were doing. I spoke to one of the firemen (any excuse!) and he wearily explained that they were rescuing a seagull from a roof . Apparently they are duty-bound to do so every time a member of the public asks them to. They treat it as a training exercise but you'd think they'd have better things to do.

I had a fight with a seagull once. My friend had to unblock some guttering on a roof near a seagulls nest, so I had to accompany him up there and fend off repeated dive bombing attacks with the aid of an umbrella. It made quite a good weapon!

Mine! Mine!

Ahem. Herring gulls have suffered moderate declines and they are therefore protected, as are lesser and greater black backed gulls who also misbehave.

Black headed gulls on the other hand, which are the ones who raid the towns on the Severn, are not protected. Therefore there are schemes afoot to control them by fair means or foul.

CuppaTea - I once saw a seagull which had got tangled up in some kind of wiring on a house roof, and each time it tried to take off, it would get yanked back after a few metres and crash upside down against the house. All the other seagulls were flying and swooping around it, and seemed to be trying to encourage it to keep going. It was very distressing.

So, whilst in theory it seems daft to waste limited resources on helping a wild bird which will just steal a few more chips, and then itself be eaten by another wild bird/animal, compassion makes me hope that someone would at least put the poor creature out of it's misery.

Have you seen a cormorant shit? It raises its backside, lifts its tail and squirts the shit about two yards. It's impressive.

Not IRL but there used to be a rather delightful RSPB poster of a comorant shitting. Not sure if they're still there, but they used to be inside the loos, aptly enough. Something like 'you've not really seen a bird till you've seen it shit', and about how the kids would run around pretending to be cormorants and raising their tails