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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well am I?

16 replies

AttillaTheMum · 19/03/2012 19:32

This will out me for sure but I am really annoyed so not too bothered,

We bought a house recently and are renting our old house to a good friend. As a favour we said she could have it for about £100-150 less than the Market rental. She also works for me part time from home(administration)

I called her today to ask her to come over about done work and she said she couldn't go out as her son was to sick ( I live 3 roads away) so I went to her. A little later in the day I was driving down the road and saw her cat dead on the side of the road. I tried to call her to let her know that he had died but there was no answer. I went over there to let her know and she wasn't in. I went to leave and could see she waS in her friend ( who lives on the same street) house. I ummed and ahhed about knocking because her friend is a nasty piece of work but decided to let her know so she can decide what to do with the poor things body.
Now I am annoyed because she said she was too busy to see me today and has been flaky about attending an event with me Thursday as her son is Ill but is taking him to her friends when she told me she doesn't want him out the house. I am upset she lied to me. Why not just say I don't want to? this is the second time this has happened. The other occasion she said she would be over and forgot.

By the way i gave the background of the house to show I thought we had a relationship where we could talk. If she doesn't want to do something just tell me

OP posts:
Original poster
AttillaTheMum · 19/03/2012 19:34

Sorry for spelling. I am on the iPad.

Also her son seems fine just a bit of a cold

OP posts:
JustHecate · 19/03/2012 19:35

I think this is the sort of thing that happens when boundaries get blurred.

Are you her mate giving her a bit of work
Are you her landlord doing her a favour
Are you her employer giving her a good deal on a home

I do think that when you get a big muddle where you're all things, there's more scope for people to take the piss.

I would say remove the mate element. You are her landlord and she is also contracted to do some work for you.

But I'm a hard cow, so you may want some nicer opinions Grin

HalloweenDuck · 19/03/2012 19:38

To be honest i can see it 2 ways. If i had a sick child and my boss asked me over to discuss work i would rather the option of them coming here, so i knew my dc had their toys/ tv etc so that i could talk. But a good friend very close i could nip to for 30 mins for a coffee if my dc was comfortable there, as easy to leave if dc needed to go home/ played up etc. So that i can see in her shoes.
However i can understand how that would sting a llittle for you. But may be you should not look at it that she lied to you, as she didnt, she said she didnt want to bring son to you so you came to her.
Hard to advise about other time/ thursday as dont know what it entails etc.

LoopyLoopsIsTentativelyBack · 19/03/2012 19:38

Weeelll...

There are a great number of possibilities, but, no matter how great our relationship, I couldn't socialise too often with my boss-um-landlady.

And YABU (but terribly nice) for the cheap rent.

LoopyLoopsIsTentativelyBack · 19/03/2012 19:39

cum

TidyDancer · 19/03/2012 19:40

Tbh, I think you are a teeny bit unreasonable.

She may have said she wasn't able to come to yours because she didn't want to leave her DS, but taking him with her to a friends house isn't the same as that.

Original poster
AttillaTheMum · 19/03/2012 19:41

Just as an aside we were friends before she rented my house or i gave her work. And her son Is v comfortable in my house. Think that's why it stings Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
AttillaTheMum · 19/03/2012 19:42

And she always brings her DS over when we work and my nanny watches him with mine or he sits in the office and plays ( he is a very good boy)

OP posts:
HamblesHandbag · 19/03/2012 19:43

Nice second post loopy! Wink

LoopyLoopsIsTentativelyBack · 19/03/2012 19:44

But still there are many possibilities.

Maybe she had run out of Calpol/tea bags/whateer
Maybe DS felt better
...

smearedinfood · 19/03/2012 20:01

I think you are thinking about it too much. I don't think age has done anything wrong. Maybe she went over to have a cry about the cat

FilterCoffee · 19/03/2012 20:11

Sounds like she might not be such a "good friend" after all. And you are effectively giving her money, which someone else would pay you to live in your old house.

Original poster
AttillaTheMum · 19/03/2012 20:50

That's how I feel, the lines have been blurred and I feel like a bit of a mug

OP posts:
smearedinfood · 20/03/2012 09:06

You could raise the rent if you feel she is paying too little. Was it meant to be a permanent arrangement?

boschy · 20/03/2012 09:12

but what happened about the poor dead cat????

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 20/03/2012 09:41

Your house is three streets away and her friend's house is practically next door though yes? That could be the thing that made the difference. Does she drive, or would have had to walk those three streets with her son in tow?
And let's face it, she can decide where to go and when and who with without running it past you first Confused I don't mean to sound mean, but maybe she just prefers the other friend's company, or couldn't face the thought of talking about work today.

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