MiL (again) – sorry!

[Angel786]

MiL came to visit at the weekend and insists on teaching dd (16 mo) made up words. I have previously said let?s teach her English (as she is babbling away and repeats lots) and then get started on Urdu / Punjabi if she wants (Pakistani roots). She refuses to listen and at the weekend continued to make up words which dd then won?t stop repeating (chiya chichi etc.). I asked what chichi meant and mil said in Burmese (?!) it means dirty, I laughed and said how about we start with English before teahing dd Burmese. 2 mins later when I am in the kitchen I hear mil again saying chichi to DD. I asked again that she speak English / Urdu to dd and not made up words as dd is v impressionable and picking everything up at the moment.

What really annoys me is MiL refuses to listen to me and continues to teach DD things I don?t want her to learn. This is not the first time ? she was adamant she wanted to be called Dadi (grandmother in urdu) but DH and I wanted dd to master ?daddy? first before getting confused yet she was adamant. Also with DH?s sister who has said she just wants to be called by her name MiL keeps saying ?poopoo? which means Aunt in urdu but obv sounds like a number 2(!) even though SiL and us have said just call her [x].

AIBU? I fear I am as MiL and I have clashed in the past (only since dd was born tho)?

P.S. I talk to both my children about poo and wee, as it's important at that age!

Given that you are also bilingual and more importantly you understand the second language being taught to your child I really don't get why you are making such an issue out of it.

Phuppi is a paternal aunt in Urdu, does it sound like poopoo when it's pronounced? (I know I'm sad, but I like to know these things, sorry for the slight derailment) There are even different words for maternal aunt and maternal and paternal uncle's wife too, it's fascinating!

Pom we would pronounce it pohpoh rather than with an "ee" sound at the end.

Can't recall who asked but mil does speak English fine (she goes to work etc)

I think baby was right - the issue for me is not teh language (taht is teh symptom), the issue is mil not listening which has happened several times whether it's language or other things.

Think my best bet is just to head out teh house and let her enjoy time with dd without me getting irritated (and i appreciate i may be bu in that regard but it's better than having words or getting myself wound up).

"There are even different words for maternal aunt and maternal and paternal uncle's wife too"

There are in Serbo-Croat, too, PomBear:

• maternal uncle and wife: ujak and ujina
• paternal uncle and wife: stric and strina ("strits")
• blood aunt (either side) and her husband: tetka and tetak

"the issue is mil not listening which has happened several times whether it's language or other things."

In that case, it would make your stand against her a lot stronger to drop the language issue so you don't look prejudiced against her by opposing her on everything.

Oooo that's interesting pluto (I get "fixated" on things like this, I have one of those brains that just loves trivia and little snippets of info ) I am now wondering if it's a common thing in languages that come from cultures where extended family is more important (or was historically). English has "second cousin once removed" type things to describe various relatives, but hardly anyone uses them outside of genealogy now, and there isn't the sense of large and extended close families that there was years ago either. Or if it's just that aunt and uncle cover the whole lot in one fell swoop so to speak, and the English have never bothered with just which side of the family they were on. Which is odd in itself because English usually has several words for any one concept - I'm wittering now, I shall stop.
If anyone passes a slightly dishevelled deranged looking person muttering pohpoh and tetka at 3pm today, it's only me on the school run I