To find the phrase 'Respect has to be earned, not given' really depressing..?

[MsF1t]

Following on from its use in another thread- what do you think? I see it as a 'red flag' phrase. I tend to assume whomever has uttered it is likely to be aggressive and ignorant.

I had this said to me by my boss.

In the context of my questioning why a male colleague who had been promoted at the same time as me to the same position was paid £15k more than me.

This was after a run of very successful pitches and my working my arse off, result was promotion... hmmmm but not the same f**king pay grade.

Never forgotten it and it still stings 15 years later.

There are some jobs eg police or teaching where I feel the job deserves respect from public/pupils unless something has gone really amiss. I feel a student should respect a teacher unless that teacher does something really unpleasant-so a weak but knowledgeable teacher should be allowed to teach. Similarly a policeman should be obeyed automatically unless what he is asking is dangerous or immoral.

I agree with pagwatch too

I work in a public facing role and I work to a non judgemental criteria (inside my own head) and I treat everyone the same. I have to say i am not perfect though and if people are rude or aggressive I do tend to judge then, but still smile sweetly

"The sort of person who might earn my deference probably wouldn't want it, come to think."

yy :)

I agree with Bupcakes - basic courtesy and politeness should be automatic and definitely do not need to be earned.

But respect as a person I think does need to be earned. I have a huge issue with the "respect your elders" view - I fail to see why a number on a birth certificate should make any difference to how we treat some one

My FIL, if losing an argument / discussion will say "well I'm older than you", and I think thats bollocks, he would like his points to be given more merit because of his age?!

I disagree. Beyond the basic level of respect, courtesy and consideration that is owed to every human being (until or unless they prove themselves unworthy of that) - respect does - imo - have to be earned.

I suppose it depends what is meant by respect though.

I may not respect someone's opinion on a subject they know nothing about - they have to earn that respect by demonstrating that they actually know what they are talking about! So someone spouting a view won't automatically have that view respected by me. I may respect their right to hold a view, no matter how lacking in knowledge of the subject it is but I won't respect the view itself.

I won't fall in line with someone out of 'respect'. My backing must be earned.

Once someone has lost my respect, they must earn it back, they don't get it given to them again!

etc etc