To wish people would stop telling me I need to move house!

[degroote78]

I have a 2.5 year old and am a single mum and live in a really big lovely one bedroom flat with a huge balcony next a park, the river and a pond to feed the ducks. When she comes out of her cot in a few months there is plenty of space for a toddler bed in my room. I would have to compromise on location, area, outside space and spec of the flat if I moved to a two bedroom because as my life is at the moment I can't afford it. I constantly have people (including the health visitor at her two and a half year health check) telling me I need to move and she needs her own room. I personally don't see the issue while she's still so young and if we don't mind why does everyone else!

Rubbish! If your happy then tell them all to piss off!

YANBU - no one else's business & if it works for you guys don't worry about what anyone says.

I guess they may be thinking if you have a partner or whatever then you would struggle for privacy, but as I said, if it works for you, then just ignore.

YANBU at all

Personally I would want my child to have its own room, but I'm not you. If you're happy there then who cares what anyone else says!

Its really none of their business.

I have just moved to a one bedroom flat with my 5yo ds after splitting with my ex. Partly because it's all I can afford but it is in a perfect location for me. I sleep on a pullout bed in the livingroom but he has bunkbeds in his room double on bottom single on top. Don't listen to them, do what makes u happy!!

yanbu. Ask her if she's going to give you the money to move.

Anyway, if it's just 2 of you it sounds manageable. My dc's have their own rooms but we live in a flippin' dolls house. A lot of older flats are far bigger than our house.

Bullshit! Ive got two kids, DS1 is in a small room. The baby is not only in my room, he doesnt have a cot and he'll be here flr the forseeable future. I could move if I had to but why, when we're all happy??

Thanks for your comments, I will tell them to mind their own (in a nice way lol). Life is more expensive than usual at the moment and I think some people just don't realise everyones situation is different. I asked her if she wants he own room and she said "no I wan't to stay with mummy" so it's not bothering her :) She doesn't even want a toddler bed yet as she loves her cot!

U R happy and that is all that matters, shes still only young and will not need her own room for a long time yet. Stick with what ur happy with, Health visitor sounds snooty - i had one like it she moaned about everything from my dog to what colour christmas tree i had lol

It's really none of their business.

My friend had a lovely one bed flat and didnt want to move so she turned the big bedroom into her DD's bedroom/playroom and got a lovely comfy sofa bed, not ideal but she was happy. They shared a bedroom until her DD was about 3.5

As a single woman security is critical. People with partners often forget how scary it can be to be alone with a young child in a place where the neighbours are always rowing etc. If you feel safe and secure, with neighours you don't feel are casing your joint for their next crack fix then you've got it right.

I can't see the point of a 2 bed if you end up evicted cos it's too expensive ( grimy local authority temporary bb accomodations isn't where you wanna end up if you have a choice.

I'm in a similar position with a 7 year old boy. We have lovely neighbours for DS to play with, it over looks nice park, is close to shops, transport, doctors etc. I've seen 2 beds at twice the price with far less square footage of actual space than my 1 bed. My mortgage is doable, in the absence of a lottery win I'm not willing to add £100k to it to satisfy the judgey pants types.

Lots of people love to point the finger at others. I'm of an age where I have friends that have gone through the horrors of repossesion/eviction because they've over reached themselves financially trying to keep up with the Jones. It's just not worth it in the long run.

YANBU.

I have 3 boys. The oldest is almost 9. They would all given the choice share a room with me still! In fact the 3 and 6 year olds rarely go in their rooms. Not by my choice at all.

the single parents + one child I have known have mostly had one - bed flats.
As the kid gets older most get a sofa bed in the front room but keep clothes etc in the bedroom.

The positives of your flat are much harder to get and much more important than having 2 bedrooms. Financial security, nice area etc are all things you do not what to compromise on.

When I was a single parent, I had a 3 bed house and DS1 still slept in my bed til he was 9! He is now 24 and is an emotionally healthy young man with a great sense of humour and a lovely girlfriend... no lasting damage .

YANBU. It sounds lovely in your home.

If you'd posted on here: "I'm a single mum living in a one-bedroom flat and I need to get a bigger, two-bedroom one because my DD needs her own room" you'd have had some people moaning about your sense of entitlement.

Do you own or rent? Could you put up a stud wall in the largest room so that you can make two smaller bedrooms if need be?

YANBU

I am a single mum with one child too.

When DS was born (I was still with ex) and we lived in my lovely one bed flat that I loved. I felt huge pressure on me to move to a two bed (people are very judgemental so I know exactly where you are coming from).

So I moved to a 2 bed ex local authority house. On paper it seemed ok - two bed house, quite nice inside, own garden, in good school catchment.

Was the WORST move I ever made.

I HATED it. It was a long walk to get anywhere (no car) and although some of the neighbours were nice the ones you noticed were not. The local kids were rough and constantly in my garden, the police were out a lot and I just felt isolated and never felt safe.

Lasted there three years then sold the house losing a huge amount of money (as had bought it at the peak of market).

We moved back to a one bed flat (it does have a box room which is meant to be DS's room but he mainly chooses to sleep with me) in a more central location (as could not afford two bed) and I am so much happier.

People are so judgemental about my living situation but the bottom line is that not many single parents can afford the ideal accommodation that two parent familied can.

So long as you are happy I can say from experience that is so much more important than having two bedrooms so enjoy feeding the ducks

I hear you!! YANBU.
We are 2 adults & 2 DD's (4 years & 10 months). We live in a small one bed flat. It's quite common in London - more common that you would think. We live in zone 2 & I love it.

We will have to move soon, probably out of the area - but there are so many positives about living so closely together, I just love it. Other people just don't get it! That's OK.

YANBU at all; in many parts of the world it is common for all family members to share a room.

I would tell them all to butt out and file a complaint about your HV.

sunshineandbooks I rent so couldn't put up a wall. My landlord is lovely and hasn't put up my rent for the last three years, so wouldn't want to rock the boat by asking to change the flat.

gilmoregirl I am the same. My flat is right next to the school my daughter wants to go to, a 15 min walk from the babysitter, a 5 min bus ride to the tube for me for work, a very short bus ride to see her dad and lovely neighbours. The two beds are either way out of my price range or horrible pokey places or would take me twice as long to get to work. We would miss those ducks too

Tell 'em all to piss off. Unless the naggers are willing to pay for a bigger place in a similarly suitable location in which case, the answer is "yes please!".

crashdoll ha ha my thoughts exactly. That or a lottery win and then we can have a five bedroom house and sleep in a different bedroom every night

you stay where you are - none of their business.

i moved with 3 dc to two bed flat and sleep on sofa bed, and do need to move now as dds 12 and 9 at point where they want their own room... but the flat is lovely with a garden and good location .

for a few years at least you have no need to move at all.

(later she could have eg a small bed behind a screen in living room? fo her terriory?

My health visitor told me I'd need to move ha ha! Why? because I lived at the top of a grade II listed mansion block where the lifts were way too costly to repair and run as they are early 1900s and we were all happy enough to walk the stairs! It was a beautiful 2 bed just for me and my daughter, I owned the property. So asked her if she was willing to pay the stamp duty, estate agents and solicitors fees I'd consider it and told her it kept me trim. She never visited again ha!

Really don't take any notice of this ridiculous and thoughtless comment, you really don't even ever need to see her again! Just tell her thank you goodbye ha ha!