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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a bit strange behaviour?

12 replies

CherryBlossom27 · 19/03/2012 05:57

DH, DS and I went for dinner at SIL's house on Sat evening and had dinner with her and her boyfriend. I wasn't especially keen in going, but thought better to get it out of the way, and I think DH felt the same as he's not a huge fan of the boyfriend. We are 28 this year and SIL is 26, her boyfriend is 35. They have been together 3 years and aren't in any rush for marriage/kids etc. although his mum is dropping heavy hints about both to them.

The next day (Mothers Day), SIL texted DH at lunchtime to ask if she could visit our DS....Is this a bit strange? The reason we went for dinner was specifically so she could see our DS ( she lives 30 minutes drive away), and she knew it was my first mothers day as she had asked what DS had 'bought' me at dinner the night before?

SIL and DH don't have a mum, so she would have been going to her boyfriends mum for lunch/dinner I imagine.

The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that she didn't fancy lunch/dinner with her boyfriends mum although they get on fine? I feel like she is trying to muscle in on my day....I think it would be pretty normal for myself, DH and DS to spend the day just the 3 of us? My first reaction to DH in the middle of the restaurant was 'is she taking the piss?!*?'

Generally we see SIL at family meals with the FIL, other SIL and BIL about once a month.

OP posts:
DPrince · 19/03/2012 06:27

Unless there are other incidents, I am not sure how you got that she was trying to muscle in. There could be thousands of reasons. She might have been feeling a bit down and wanted to spend time with her brother (using ds as an excuse), she might have had words with the bfetc.
Easily solveable. All your dh had to do was text back saying 'actually we wanted today to be a quiet day, just the 3 of us.'. Unless there is something you have not posted YABU

ilikecandyandrunning · 19/03/2012 06:39

So, did she come round?!

south345 · 19/03/2012 06:39

Not sure but I want to say yabu for feeling she was muscling in, maybe she was just missing her mum. Also depends what she was like when she got there, was she trying to take ds out on her own/pretending she was his mum?! If so yanbu.

Bucharest · 19/03/2012 06:43

If it was your first mother's day then your child would hardly have been much of an active participant would he? Being a baby and all?

YABU and unkind. Poor SIL. Hopefully she has some nice friends, because with relatives like you....

Original poster
CherryBlossom27 · 19/03/2012 06:44

No its just I thought its odd that she would want to spend mothers day with us when we don't see her that often and already seen her the evening before? I think maybe she might have had words with her boyfriend, it sounds quite likely now you've mentioned it. Maybe she is feeling a bit lonely....maybe better in relationships section

I thought it would be obvious that the 3 of us would be spending the day as a family....

DH told her if she was at a lose end to go shopping...

OP posts:
Bucharest · 19/03/2012 06:47

Maybe you are placing too much emphasis on a Hallmark-invention? Grin

Just try and see it as another-Sunday.

This whole obsession with Mother's Day drives me nuts tbh. (and I am a mother, and a daughter, and do all the requisite stuff, but somehow over the last couple of years, it seems to have exploded. Just on here, a microcosm of humanity, there must have been almost 50% of threads the last couple of days based in one way or another on Mother's Day)

DPrince · 19/03/2012 06:49

Not really is saw my brother and sil yesterday. Imo mothers day is time for family. I think you being very precious about it being 'your day'.

Original poster
CherryBlossom27 · 19/03/2012 06:58

Fair enough...I'm not used to all this extended family stuff, growing up it was me, my mum and brother and that was literally it as we had no other family so my idea of mothers day is based on me and my brother bringing my mum burnt toast in bed and making home made cards :)

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryBlossom27 · 19/03/2012 07:09

Just to add Bucharest she has loads of friends and always seems to be out and about and happy. I think it's maybe strange behaviour for her, but not for other people if that makes sense? I'm starting to think she's a bit lonely even though she's surrounded by people all of the time...

OP posts:
TotemPole · 19/03/2012 07:16

Maybe she was feeling a bit broody after seeing him on Saturday night or is going through a 'do I want children or not' phase.

Maybe she had something that DS could 'give' you as a present for Mother's day.

Maybe she was lonely, peed off with her partner and just wanted to get away for a bit.

If it's strange behaviour for her then there could have been something wrong.

You could have seen her for an hour.

GColdtimer · 19/03/2012 07:29

Ffs, where did this obsession with making mothers day "just for us". She must have been so hurt for her brother to say go shopping. perhaps she missed her mum.

squeakytoy · 19/03/2012 07:38

perhaps she just wanted to be with her family... YABU

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