AIBU about lifts?

[Carriemoo]

Apologies for any spelling mistakes and the like I'm on the mobile so I shall make this brief ish.

I had/ have a massive phobia of lifts. I have been frightened of them since I was a child when I was trapped in a lift and someone does not mention name cougholder sistercough* told me I'd be trapped in there forever. Ever since then I haven't been able to get in a lift... Till fairly recently anyway. The short story behind that was we went to London and got the tube to covent garden and no way was I walking up the 866,000 steps (or however many they claim to be- they lie of course I did start and admitted defeat) and so used the lift. From then on I've been much better using lifts when needing too (don't use lifts in department stores it's really only multi storey carparks and tower blocks -top floor kinda stuff)

But today we stepped into a lift in our local town centre and i think it was broken and kept going up two floors and then dropping down a floor. The doors were opening when Inbetween floors and then wouldn't open when they got too the actual floor. I turned into a complete mess and panicked. This went on for what felt like 2 hours (DP said it was about 6-7 minutes) they eventually stopped the lift and after about 15 minutes we had to climb out an was met by paramedics because I was a mess.

They checked me over and I'd just had a panic attack and just wanted to go home. Said to DP we were going home and he got really nasty with me saying I was a wimp. I said I would categorically never step foot in a lift again. He said I was being an idiot and I'm a wimp. Tried to make me get back into a lift o get to the car park so I said no and I'd meet him at the car.

AIBU to say never to use a lift again or am I just being a wimp and should get straight back in there? Is anyone here terrified of lifts?

Thanks for reading :)

your dp is a dick

you suffered a trauma and it has caused pychological issues

I think we all have things that freak us out and could cause a panic attack in the right circumstances, even if we don't know what that is yet.

Panic attacks are horrible, I've had a few, and I would be gutted if my dh couldn't be sympathetic. I wouldn't expect him to understand it, and I wouldn't expect him to act in the best possible way, but I do expect him to be nice to me when it happens.

Your dh is being quite mean. He needs to understand that the whole point of phobias is that they aren't rational, but that doesn't stop them being any less real.

Not terrified of lifts - but can relate to that feeling of terror though.

I am petrified of the tube - completely terrified. The further down I go the more laboured my breathing gets until I'm in full panic mode.

Can't explain it, and can't reason myself out of it - and yes, I've been called a wimp and had DP having a go at me because I insist on getting a bus or a taxi.

YANBU - and your DP is being massively insensitive. When you're calmer, just spell that out.

You could have CBT to deal with this, if it's badly affected your day-to-day life. I haven't bothered because I don't live in London, so rarely need to use the tube anyway. Thank fuck

he doesn't understand phobias. surely being married to someone with a phobia he would have developed a bit of an understanding? he was horrible to call you a wimp and try and make you get back into it. i actally cant believe he even thought of that actually.

i am terrifed of birds. i have been since childhood. i was attacked by a rooster. sounds funny but i dont even remember it happening (was a toddler, my parents told me years later after another panic attack) yet the terror remains. it is irrational as i know not all birds will hurt me but it exists in my head and is very real to me. i have gotten better with age but if someone put a flapping bird in my face (which some dickhead thougght it was funny to do) i would freak out completely, full on tears, trouble breathing, heart palpitations the lot. i understand how you feel. i would find it very hard to forgive a partner who acted with so little compassion for what was a really scary thing for you.

My OH is similarly dim about how to be compassionate about my phobia, awful innit. Hopes we are not just with bastards.

Your DP is being an insensitive twat.
I've had stress, rather than phobia, induced panic attacks in they are frightening.

I'm pretty much OK with lifts having worked in a tall building with eccentric ones that missed floors and stopped without lining up properly. They ended up being more amusing than frightening.

But I hate other enclosed spaces and could never go caving, can't watch it on
Tv either.

He doesn't have to understand, but he should respect your wishes, however irrational he thinks they are.

I had an ex who insisted he had OCD and that part of it meant he couldn't use telephones to call people he didn't know (takeaway, make an appointment etc) and I was because I'd been with him for months and had never seen him behave in an odd way at all. I didn't believe him but I respected the fact that he seemed to be terrified to call for a pizza so I did it for him. He didn't seem to have any problem picking up the phone to answer it, however. more.

I used to suffer panic attacks and my ex fiance would talk me through them, crack jokes and generally calm me down quite quickly. He was a diamond.

Leave the bastard! (seriously!) What an utter cock!
YANBU to have had a phobia, tried to overcome said phobia, then for this too happen. How unlucky OP. Unfortunate that you married a completely insensitive twat too. I don't blame you one bitz for not wanting to use lifts again, It's not as if anyone could ever guarantee that a lift you were using would never break down is it?

YANBU. I had to get over my fear of lifts when I realised that you cannot get a pram down stairs/escalators & most children's clothes departments are on the first floor.

However if a lift shows the slightest sign of being broken I completely freak out. DP is mostly understanding although does think its funny to jump up & down to make me yell. He is far less understanding about my swan phobia however.

Wow you are incredibly unlucky when it comes to lifts aren't you!

Your DP is a prick and needs to be much more understanding.

I'm scared of lifts too. Can get in them if really necessary, but I hate it. I completely understand what you're saying.

For future reference, if you have to go back to Covent Garden get off at Leicester Square instead. It's about a one minute walk between the two tube stations and Leicester Square has escalators instead of lifts.

I don't do lifts. Only time I wasn't frightened was the time I was stuck in one. Dp laughed at first and then watched me walk up thousands of stairs. He walks with me now .