To discuss gay marriage with my 5 year old?

[mrsshears]

Really interested to hear your thoughts on this subject.
My dd is a bright questioning child and this is a subject that she recently asked me about in the form of "can 2 men get married?" (not sure where this came from but i think it is perhaps something she had seen on tv or heard,she often asks in depth/difficult questions).
I explained that yes they can as can 2 women but some people don't believe that they should be able to but that its really up to the people involved and noone else.
I have recieved some raised eyebrows from friends and family about this,my thoughts are that they can get married so why lie? i also want my dd to grow up to be aware of diversity and accepting of differences,what do you think was ibu?

YANBU. Children ask questions, and especially at that age, they're very receptive to honest answers. I was raised around my mother's homosexual friends from an early age, and I think it never occurred to me to ask why men might be with men instead of women, or whatever. At that age, you just see it, accept it, move on.

I know there are people around who would like us to not accept it (I am originally from the US so I suppose we've more of those sort of people than you have here) but honestly, I think it's a good way to be.

lol slowest that's just what I imagine a conversation like that would be like for a child! As I said, it hadn't occurred to me to ask that sort of thing as a child, but I think even if I had, I wouldn't have needed the sort of in-depth answer an adult would feel might be necessary.

It's fine. My dd asked about it the other day. I went through the various combinations of sexes that could marry each other,she was intrigued!
Plus,my mum went to a civil ceremony (2 guys) and dd had seen the pics, it's only odd, if you make it odd, imo

My Bil is gay. He has been with his partner a couple of years and certainly DD (5) knows partner as well as Bil. Knows they are a couple etc. yet still she said recently that only men and women can get married. She mentioned this casually in the context of a game. I stopped her and corrected her. Told her that men could marry men and women cold marry women. I said what about uncle x and y they are boyfriends maybe they'll get married some day if they want. Her response 'oh yeah. Ok but in this game I'll marry a boy. Next time I'll marry a girl'
I wouldn't have said about some people having a problem with it. I am trying to bring my kids up to regard their uncles sexuality to be as normal as mine and their dads.

I have just had this converstion with my 6 year old grand-daughter, she said, 'Why do two girls live together?'

As she was talking about me and DP, I said because we love each other best in the world and want to live together'

She said 'Oh yeah' and wandered off while I rang her mum and said 'Why me?'

Her reply, through gales of laughter, 'Do you want to cover where how babies get in the mother's tummy now?'

Well done for talking about and encouraging an accepting and open environment for your children.

:) Dad clearly thought it needed to be explained, I did have form for asking questions in front of guests i.e. when reading Woman's Own, announcing that I must be informed immediately what a womb was, pronounced in child-speak as walmb.

Funnily it was always Dad who went straight to the point while poor Mum sat looking confused and wondering how to explain.

I think children given quite matter of fact answers just accept, and I agree that we as adults do probably go into things in-depth.

For a 5 year old marriage is about love.Wish more adults were like that.
YANBU.

Well said Saffron.

If we bring up the next generation to be tolerant and caring instead of judgemental and mean to people then we're doing a reasonable job.

Just answer the question. And the answer is "Yes".

Two people who love eachother can get married.

my two not only know that men can marry men and women can marry women, but i'm at pains to point out that they themselves must love who they love when the time comes (so long as they're kind). but then we know so many gay couples that it's all the norm round here anyway.

Don't complicate it. When they ask a question, answer it. In as few words possible.
That gives them as much as they have requested. If they need any more info, be assured, they will ask for it.

When my dd1 was 5 she attended a gay wedding with us, there was no big discussion about it, she just thought it was as normal as any other wedding.

Both my kids asked at this age. More surprisingly both thought this was absolutely fine as long as both men didn't get to wear dresses. Apparently this isn't "fair" when you are a five year old girl.

YANBU. My DD was surprised when neither Uncle J nor Uncle J wore a dress at their CP. She was bridesmaid and thought it was a rule that one person wore a long white thing.
Not sure why, I didn't.

yanbu.
dps aunt got married in a civil partnership ceremony last year so dd (6) of course knew what was going on. if you don't talk about things it makes them taboo imo

YANBU. Of course you are not. DS saw his two mums getting married, but hasn't yet asked if men and women can get married not sure how to approach that one

(for the record that is obv a joke)

Well said saffron.....if only we could all see it this way

I wish my ds knew more married people. Hardly anyone we know is married, so he doesn't see it as the norm at all.

And when I say married, I mean common-law too.

I think my ds knew well before he was 5, YANBU.

the headmaster at our local primary is a very excellent queeny gay man. He got married, and changed his name, so it came up quite naturally with over three hundred kids. No batted an eyelid. His husband is also a headmaster at the primary up the road, so they all are fully aware that men can marry men round here