AIBU to call DH thoughtless and careless re Mother's Day?

[dogdaysareover]

Tomorrow it is my first Mother's Day. I am having DH's and my entire family round for a party (my idea and I'm happy to host). Have spent the whole week making thoughtful, hand crafted gifts for both my mum and vile MIL. This afternoon DH revealed that he had not got me anything (no, not even a card) as he has been working long hours (true, but as I pointed out Mother's Day is a fixed date, like Christmas, my birthday etc and whilst he may have been working long hours THIS week, he knew MD was coming up). I feel sad because I've had a tough time since DS born (with very little support from family or DH) and I just wanted the day to feel a bit special, for DH to make a bit of a fuss (not in terms of big expensive pressies, but just thoughtful stuff). Should I make it into a biggie or just let it go? Don't want bad atmosphere tomorrow, but really, not even a card ffs!!!

you can't win if you have a vile MIL. I applaud you for going to the effort of making a card for a woman you do not like, just in the interests of doing the right thing. If you deliberately didn't do something for her that you intended doing for your own mother then people would be telling you off for that too.

I think it is entirely reasonable to expect your husband to do something on your son's behalf for his first Mother's Day.

What's MIL done or said that's vile? [Nosey]

Is it really right to wish someone a happy anything if it's not sincere and you're lying through your teeth? I've done it to keep the peace but I don't think it's really applaudable as such...

btw @op wouldn't be surprised if he produces a card if you've been whining about it all day or sulking, yay all is well in the world again...

I think it is. We all (if we have stressful relatives anway) have to do and say stuff that we don't really mean.

I don't really think that it matters whether other posters agree with Mother's Day, think it's a load of commercial claptrap or that men can't occasionally think of something other than work.
It matters to the OP and as such it wouldn't kill her DH to do something that would please her especially as she is trying to be nice to his mum.

whining or sulking? That seems kind of insulting. I would say 'being upset'.

Re: the gifts for VMIL, I have made framed hand and foot prints of DS. I made them for my mum and thought I would enter into the spirit and make some for her too. I suppose I am doing it because despite my own personal antipathy towards this woman (believe me she really has been nasty and I could furnish you with many examples) I am trying to do what I can to ensure that as a grandmother she is treated the same as my mum. I don't want to ostensibly treat her differently as 'grandma', for sake of DS and DH. I know it's not 'Grandmother's Day' but I was trying to do something cute and thoughtful for my own mum and so...

My husband has made a fuss of my (also first) Mothers Day this year because a) I bollocked him for forgetting Valentine's Day and b) I told him not to make the same mistake this time. But that's what it has taken - he wasn't going to realise himself.

Totally agree nanny0gg. OP has expressed that the day is important to her, and her DH has ignored this. That is what is hurtful - speaking from personal bitter experience.

Also, she is presumably not putting on a party to celebrate her being a Mum to her 'pfb' as someone put it - it is as a daughter to her Mum and MIL.

Ahhhhh. I definitely understand why you would like a card on your first Mother's Day. Regardless of whether it's commercialisation or whatever. Not because you've put on a party, but because it would mean something to you. Unless you're getting breakfast in bed - that might trump a card