Or was my DSis just being a cow?

[diamondsonthesolesofhershoes]

Here's the background, I have had absolutely nothing to do with my DM's husband for the last three years, for various reasons. However, my DM and I have managed to maintain a good relationship, with a kind of unspoken mutual understanding that we don't speak about him or the problems I had with him, weird I realise but it's the best it gets. I am also still close to my DSB (step brother), his wife and their children.
DP and I are getting married next year.
Yesterday I met up with my DM and my 17 yo DSis for the day, talk moved onto the wedding and DSis asked who would be bridesmaids etc apart from her. I listed them, including my DSB's two boys as pages. She laughed and said "Don't be stupid you can't do that, if you're not inviting DM's husband you can't have his family there!"
I know she only said this because she was being a hormonal little witch already in a strop with my DM (over her refusing to buy her some makeup ) and saw it as a way to stick the knife in, but it's started to niggle at me.

AIBU to involving his family this much even though there's never been any question of inviting him? Or WIB more U to let it affect our relationship?

Am I the only one to struggle with all the abbreviations on this page? Will read post again and then comment

You can have whoever you want to at your wedding. If you are close to your DSB then of course you should invite him and have his sons as pageboys. It's a shame that you can't invite your DM's husband, but if things are as bad as you say then it's probably better if you don't. Just ignore your DSis, none of her business

Your wedding, invite who you want! She is being a silly little girl - tell her that, teenagers love it when you say it

It's up to you who you invite to your wedding. If your mother and his family are happy to attend even though he isn't, then it's non of your sisters business.

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

IMO your wedding is the day your close friends & family join you to celeberate the union between you & your partner. If that does not include your stepfather so be it.

Ignore your sister.

Well ultimately it's your wedding and you can invite who you want. YANBU to want to invite the people you feel close to and not have to invite those you don't want there.

Can you elaborate slightly on the problems with your DM's husband? Ie, why is your sister so surprised at your choice?

If you're close to your stepbrother and his family then of course you should invite them. I take it he (your stepbrother) won't be narked that his dad isn't invited? If he understands why and is fine with it then I don't see why anyone else should have a problem with it!

whackamole,I did just give her an eyebrow and ignore her but I struggled to make it to the end of the day with her, I do pity my poor mum! Never been so relieved to wave them off!
Debsbear I would have invited them regardless, but the page boy thing you think is fine too?

I realise that question was not directed at me, but you absolutely can do the page boy thing. Nothing wrong with it at all. Your sister is being daft about that.

TidyDancer We have never got on, been with my mum since I was 15, I moved out at 18, but then things came to a head a few years ago I was visiting my mum, he and I argued about something silly, he went for me and my dp pulled him off me. We left and never went back, while he, to this day, will tell anyone who'll listen that my dp "attacked him unprovoked", while my mum trots round correcting everyone. We both keep in touch with my mum but he tends to avoid family occasions when he knows we're attending.
My stepbrother & his wife don't get on particularly well with him either, and they stay in touch for my mum's sake too.

Well yes, sounds like he's not a very pleasant man, doesn't it?! Don't blame you for not wanting him there.

Go ahead and have the wedding you want, have your DSB there, and those little page boys you want too.

Good luck! :)

We'd already discussed it previously, so I think she was just being spiteful. She's always been a bit jealous of mine/stepbrothers/mum's relationship because she was the much younger baby one.