To not let my daughter sleep over at her new friends house?

[squashedbanana]

A new girl joined my daughters school last week who my dd got on really well with instantly. When I went to collect my dd yesterday she was invited to a playdate at the new girls house. Later on in the afternoon I got a phonecall asking if she could sleep over. They were going to take my DD to the mum's brothers house for dinner then back to theirs to sleep.

I said no as I wanted to wait a while till I got to know their family a bit better before agreeing to let my dd stay at theirs. I don't drive and with a baby I couldn't just go and collect her if thing didn't work out

AIBU?

You do not know these people, I would not entertain that just yet!

YANBU I would need to know and trust a family before I would allow this, and not being able to collect my DD would only be one concern.

YANBU, you don't know these people.

I wouldn't allow it either, especially as you cannot easily get to her easily, if she wants to come home. I would want to know them a lot better, first.

How old are we talking?

Once theyre in secondary school it's impossible to know all the parents

YANBU, you don't know them.

In fact, I would have said YABU if you had let her stay over.

Gumby, op said it was a playdate. Secondary aged kids in our area don't go on playdates

Ask her over to stop at yours first instead so you can start sussing them out.

Depends on her age tbh. 5 no you are not, 13 then yes you are.

Doesn't mattter how well you "know" that family - you never really "know" people.

I think that you need to tell us the age for us to make a judgement.

Yes - a lot depends on how old she is.

Have you met either of the parents?

DD is 10. I have met the mother of the other little girl very briefly, two five minute conversations, she seems very nice though. It just didn't feel 'right' though. I have arranged for them to play at mine next week though

If it didn't feel right you have your answer. Wait until it feels right, then have the sleepover.

YANBU

Hmmm, at 10 I'd be inclined to say YABU. You've met the mother and she seemed nice after all. troisgarcons is right, you never really know your DC's friends parents, so I'd say two five min convo's were enough for me to say yes or no! Once dd goes off to high school you will have little or no info about their friends family's, and you have to base your decisions on what dd tells you! I'd have let mine stay....

I think that at 10yrs I would. It would depend on whether I had trusted my DD in her other friendships- and the 5mins conversation would give a good guide.
If not, I would make some excuse for having to be home, once the DC has been to your house and you like her, say 'yes' next time she asks.

I think 10 year olds is on the cusp on YABU/YANBU. I would, but understand others saying no. But in 18 months when she starts secondary school you simply won't know families like you do now. So fine to say no. But maybe start to get your head round that it won't be long until you maybe need to change how you do this?

I would agree with the cusp. Year 7 and you would be unreasonable-you will never know the friends and family the way that you do at primary.

I guess it's not so much about how well you know the parents, but about the fact your daughter doesn't really know this girl either. I would think friendships would have to be fairly well established ones before a sleepover would be acceptable.

It depends entirely on the DC.-some would, some wouldn't.

It depends a lot as to whether your DD wants to.

Secondary school is when all this happens, YANBU

YANBU.