Shall I be cross with Next, school or myself? or all 3?

[boschy]

DD2 is very nearly 13, incredibly tall for her age and skinny as a rake. Getting clothes, and particularly school clothes, to fit is a nightmare.

So, she found some black trousers in Next Schoolwear department online which we agreed would do - plain, no logos, specifically marketed as 'school wear'.

They finally arrived on Weds, and are surprisingly attractive for schoolwear (so much so that I was a bit taken aback). She wore them to school on Thurs, no problems. This morning she has been pulled out of assembly and told they are not suitable.

Now, admittedly they are 'skinny fit' - they fit her perfectly, but they are a bit drainpipe-y (is that a word?). At a distance you could think they were jeans, except they dont have jeans style pockets or studs, and are not made of denim but some kind of (actually quite nice) polyester or something.

So, are Next wrong to sell 'schoolwear' which is too 'trendy' for want of a better word, are school wrong in challenging something which IS actually schoolwear, or should I have taken one look and sent them straight back??

(I shall be annoyed if it's the last one, as it has taken nearly 8 weeks to get these bloody ones delivered - and of course she's taken all the labels off as they fit so well...)

Our school lines the boys up and makes them bend over - if they can see their underwear at the top of their waistband that are given a belt

I don't think you need to be cross at anyone but I do think you should talk to the school directly and explain your problem with getting stuff that fits.

Anecdotally, I was once told my skirt was too short at school (at complete joke, it was on the knee whereas you could see the knickers of all the cool girls including the daughter of the teacher who told me it was too short). When I told my mum she laughed and said the teacher was welcome to buy me a new skirt. I carried on wearing it, nothing more was said.

I think a deciding factor is whether you think they could be in anyway inappropriate and how strict the school is - mine was reasonable as they knew that teens grow like weeds.

Worra - don't bullies just find something else to bully about if the closing issue is removed? Strikes me as a very poor, short-sighted anti-bullying tactic to me. Better, surely, to gives bullies the help they need so that hey have no need to bulky an more?

:o Buppers x

The trousers look fine to me. I think the school are being tw@ts.

DD's last school banned Miss Sexy trousers, which I suppose is fair enough, though by then practically every girl in the school was wearing them so I suppose it would have worked v expensive for some parents. My view was that I'd have preferred them to be tackling the endemic violence, verbal abuse, racism and sexual harassment practised by some of the less civilised pupils, instead of faffing about worrying about uniform, but perhaps that's a debate for another time.

Those wouldn't be OK at our girls school but then we have 1 style of skirt and 1 trouser- from the official shop (s). Admittedly "we did choose" as it's selective, but it's no biggie. DD2 had tucks put in her trouser waist by me bring size 8 but curvy. DD1 (bigger/chunkier) had a bigger size that I shortened.

Another local selective - not only do you have "the " trousers or skirt but they put a logo on the waistband before you get them from the shop!

vivian. I never understand why so many people are so wiling to accept the wholesale institutionalisation and depersonalisation of children. Creativity and self-expression is so vital for innovation and the ability to survive in a changing world - why woud we want to produce vast groups of adkts whose only experience of the world is in a homogenised institution full of rules that are in place on to maintain the status quo?

Thank goodness not all schools are like this, and not all teachers are heavy-handed drunk-on-power autocrats or the next generatin would be doomed!

Stupid iPad! adults and generation

When I was a school girl my mum bought me an ankle length grey skirt from Topshop. Perfect acceptable jersey material. The guidelines on skirt lenth were "Not above knee" Silly fuckers didn't bank on the grebo crew going out and buying long, flowy skirts. They called my mum in when I refused to take it off and wear a rampy skirt from the 'spares box'. Eugh. They couldn't really say why they didn't want me to wear it, just that they didn't like it. In the end they relented, after my mum glared at the year head so hard that she burned a hole in her skull. Of course, with my long skirt I was able to go about wearing my Doctor Marten 18-holer boots unfettered.

Rebel without a cause, me.

hackmum

THe thing is schools believe (and could be right)that by complying to a dress code then compliance with other codes is more likely. may not be true but if little toad X didn't have the right uniform he wouldn't be in class fing and blinding anyway....

Why would they be doomed?? School is a place to learn and what clothes they wear has no bearing on their personality. It is only six hours a day and I am sure as soon as they get home their preffered choice of attire can be unleashed!! It is so important to create equality at school IMO.

I had my name sewn onto my hockey knickers in red wool.

Wool itches. Chafes too.

That's all I'm gonna say about that

Because if children's creativity isn't nurtured then they lose it, and when the world is changing fast, you need adults who are creative and innovative. School isn't just 6 hours a day - what about homework, and after school clubs? This is about the lessons that children are being taught for most of their waking hours during the week...and I don't mean mathis etc. but lessons about conformity and about how self-expression and creativity isn't valued as ,inch as being the same as everyone else.

Sorry, *as much as ...

Oh and my first name is 8 letters long. Did my Mum sew just my initial. Did she buggery.

I agree about the stamping out individuality. I HATED having my "individuality" crushed by power-pissed teachers. Why the tits was a teeny nose stud going to hamper my education? Or my purple hair? Or my graffitied school tie? Or my studded schoolbag? HUH???

I think they look fine. The school should have a list of shops they approve off if they are going to nit pick. It's really hard to get girls trousers, my short of leg dd is in Asda boys ones atm.

Sorry but I cannot believe that because all the kids are wearing uniform it stifles their creativity and personality. Kids have to learn a sense of conformity if they want to succeed in the world and I think that uniform is not saying to a child that creativity is not valued because we want you to waer the same as peers and feel a sense of belonging to a group.

But looked how you turned out Buppers..... need I say more

Worra - don't bullies just find something else to bully about if the closing issue is removed? Strikes me as a very poor, short-sighted anti-bullying tactic to me. Better, surely, to gives bullies the help they need so that hey have no need to bulky an more?

Of course bullies can be given help but it doesn't have to be either/or.

Standing out from the crowd because your clothes aren't as 'cool' or 'expensive' as other pupils can crush confidence and create stress/worry where it can be so easily avoided.

This is one reason my DS's senior school will not under any circumstance agree to non uniform days.

They can wear uniform AND still be individual.

When I was at school girls were not even allowed to wear trousers-unless it was lover than minus 10 degrees Also no make-up and only stud earrings allowed. I bought v short culottes-remember them?-and just about got away with it because looked like a skirt.

Yabu though op-they dont look like an acceptable form of school trouser to me-far too tight and they do look like jeans.

I am constantly at the way I see girls going to school around here-bleached hair,masses of extensions,troweled on make-up,accrylic nails-vile. Just vile. What are their parents thinking of?