to want my dcs here on mothers day

[PooPooInMyToes]

More of a How would you feel about it thing.

How much would it bother you if your children spent the previous night elsewhere and so you didn't see them in the morning on mothers day?

Not that its a big deal in the scheme of things, but my children like the tradition of coming into the bedroom and giving me the things they have made. Last year they were so excited! It was so sweet!

If they are not here then they will be at my husbands parents as he's arranged a sleep over. He forgot all about mothers day as did i. The thing is that they can be stroppy and he would rather leave plans as are to not risk upsetting them.

If they are at their house, when i got there they will be all hyped up and dashing about and i will be unlikely to get a cuddle!

Do i sound selfish? For once i just want to do what i want to do and not compromise to avoid annoying other people and stressing out my husband!

Just go along with it and move mother's day to the Sunsay after. Tell DH, get the kids to keep the cards back and then next week do the whole mother's day thing. There is nothing objectively 'motherly' about this Sunday, except the prices of a meal out, flowers and chocs have doubled.

Can't move it to the Sunday after due to a commitment that day.

Mine are at their dad's this weekend - we alternate weekends. I'm sure he'd have swapped around if I'd asked but personally, mothers day has never been something I've thought it worth changing the rota for. My DD says she's made me a card in school. She's happy to give it to me on the Monday.

If there's things you'd like to have done for mothers day, why not suggest that they are done next weekend, or whenever suits? No point disrupting plans just for the sake of it really.

If you can't shift it then really, don't fret about offending the ILs (who I'm sure on some level will understand, even if they don't want to admit it) and have them where you want them to be. It's mothers' day, they're your kids - of course you want your traditions and your cuddles.

My dc will be with their Dad on that Sunday morning, but they now think they are too old to do the climbing into bed thing anyway. It doesn't bother me, but ex will bring them home earlier than he normally would so we can go out for lunch.

Mothers day is about you and your DC. No it's not a big deal but your DH made a mistake by arranging the sleep over. If you really want them home and they want to be home too then that is what should happen. Tough tits to the GP's if they can't understand a mistake.

I suppose i am also fed up with everything always being about doing what the inlaws want and always being so careful not to offend them. Everything is always on their terms.

Right now part of me is feeling that i have to do what i usually have to, which is to go along with plans that make me slightly resentful, because that is what i am used to. The other part of me wants to rebel and do something for me!

You have to learn to take care of yourself. It is awful to do something and resent it. Mothers day should be a nice one. Tell your DH to suck it up - he made a mistake, it's your day and you DESERVE to have it your way on that day. Don't be afraid to do what is right for you.

The other complication is that he wanted us to go out somewhere on sat and have some time together. So i risk hurting his feelings. Although i suspect he's more bothered about his parents reaction then our night out. He won't say that though and I'll get the But don't you want to go out?

Do you want to go out? Are you saying he has decided and arranged something and you want something quite different that night and you're feeling guilty about chucking a spanner in the works? TBH it's time for you to suck it up too then. If you want morning in bed with your DC something's got to give. You have to learn to live with his or IL's disappointment.

I would move the night out and sleep over. It sounds important to you, and it sounds like you let others have their way a lot.

You shouldn't feel guilty for sometimes prioritsing your own needs.

Personally it wouldn't bother me at all - in fact I will wake up alone on Mothering Sunday as DH and DS are away for the weekend - I am secretly rather pleased as I can have a whole day to myself doing what I want .

Are they away on the Friday night - can you make the Saturday morning your 'special' time. I think it is really important not to get hung up on specific 'dates', easy for me to say as I am not at all sentimental but you read so many threads on MN where people get totally OTT over a date, rather than the true sentiment and meaning behind it. You are going to have to face this sort of thing every birthday/Christmas/Mothering Sunday etc etc

I really wouldn't care. Some people place great stock with these manufactured days, but I really don't bother with them.

My kids are very likely to be staying at their dads that night. Personally I don't see any reason to change things. The house to myself is as good a gift as any!

FirstLast I know it's always that Sunday, what I mean is there isn't something objective that makes it 'motherly' is there? If they changed it to the third Sunday in Lent we wouldn't all continue to feel 'extra motherly' on the fourth Sunday! Clinton's would have to do a lot of advertising and we'd all celebrate on the third Sunday instead!

I'm speaking as an atheist, does it have religious meaning to you OP so that it must be that Sunday?

Time To Rebel.

Sounds like it might do the inlaws a bit of good too.

No good letting them piss you off so much that you end up choosing them a horrid nursing home, best to let them make up some ground now.

Mother's day, Fathers' day, Valentines day and birthdays are all movable feasts in this house. Celebrations for them being held on the nearest convenient day.

Even Christmas day happened twice the year before last, but that was because my family and half the presents were under 3 ft of snow!

Seriously as they get older it is easier to be flexible than get DD1 to miss something she really enjoys because it's DD2's birthday.

I won't see my DS till Sunday. He's off on scout camp on Friday night.

Now I'm not too bothered about celebrating mothers day (its evry day here as its just DS and I) but if you find it special just move it to the following Sunday.
TBH you do have a lot of Mothers days to have so missing 1 won't really be a problem will it?

Sorry I meant to put Sunday night.
I won't see DS till Sunday night.

Sounds lovely to me - out for a meal with your dh, no need to worry about getting back for the babysitters, then lie in or doing whatever you want to, wherever you want to with dh on the Sunday morning. What a lovely treat for anyone who has small children

My dd2 is on cub camp