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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you put you and DCs names on MIL's mother's day card?

30 replies

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 14/03/2012 21:39

Trivial question, my DH is currently online ordering flowers with a personalised card to be delivered to MIL for mother's day. Although she is not my or DD's mother I would like our names on the card wishing her Happy Mother's Day as she is a lovely MIL and Granny and we both wish her a lovely day although we won't see her due to distance, what do you do for MIL?

OP posts:
Seona1973 · 14/03/2012 21:40

yes, we stick all the names on it - same for my mum too

OOAOML · 14/03/2012 21:43

I send my mum a card from me, and I ask DH if he is sending a card to MIL. Not because we don't think they are lovely, just because it is about mothers, and MIL is not my mother, nor is my mother DH's mother. We wouldn't put all names in either of them, but it you want to then why not, or get the children to make her a card?

Letchladee · 14/03/2012 21:46

Haven't got a clue...Grin

I do cards for my family, and when DH can be bothered, he does his... Wouldn't have a clue how he signs them - can't say I've ever been interested enough to enquire Grin

quickhide · 14/03/2012 21:47

If I was sending flowers I would put all our names on. In fact we did last year. This year I'm sending MIL a card that DD made at preschool as she helpfully insisted on making two (one for me and one for daddy!)

AnnoyingOrange · 14/03/2012 21:48

Yes we do

Original poster
ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 14/03/2012 21:49

Making a card is a nice idea but DD is a bit young this year, maybe next year.

OP posts:
bibbityisaporker · 14/03/2012 21:49

Yabu

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 14/03/2012 21:49

Dh does his own mothers day card, and I have no idea if he puts my name on it. I don't put his name on my Mums card, because my Mum is not my dh's Mum. The dc do separate cards.

TheFirstMrsGClooney · 14/03/2012 21:51

I do a "to Gran" card from the DCs, DH does his own card to MIL, as I do to my mum. Are we freaks?!

booitsme · 14/03/2012 21:52

Do whatever suits your personal circumstances best. We had a few disagreements when first married, as I realised my DH was signing his mums mother's day card from us both. She is not my mum and so I think he should only sign his own name. I only sign my name on my mum's card. Its not any disrespect to her but I am just not comfortable with it.

lazylula · 14/03/2012 21:58

I put mine and dh's name on the cards to both our mums. I prefer to buy them as I am a cheapskate and will not spend more than a pound where as dh will spend a fiver on a card which will go on the mantle piece for a few days and then be binned, so not worth it! When we got married we see it that we also took on each other's family. It suits us.

pointythings · 14/03/2012 22:00

I wish I still had a MIL to send a card to to put all our names on. Sad

I won't be sending my mum one, I will call her myself and tell her how much I love her.

StrandedBear · 14/03/2012 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 14/03/2012 22:03

Yes, I put all our names on with my name first.
DH also puts all our names on, but his name first.

Although my mum is not DH's mum, or DD's mum - we do all hope she has a nice Mother's Day.

architeuthis · 14/03/2012 22:09

No I send my mum a card & dh sends his mum a card. Neither of us would sign them from the children too (just had to check with dh to see what he does - he's got his mum some graze boxes this year apparently!).

2rebecca · 14/03/2012 22:11

My husband buys, writes and delivers the card. I don't usually see it. If he wants to buy her flowers he sorts them out. She's not my mum.

Flisspaps · 14/03/2012 22:11

No, we don't - much as I love my MIL she's not my mum.

So I send my mum a card, DH sends one to his mum, and DD sends one to me. Well, I hope she does this year, she did well for my first mothers day, she was only born the day before and still managed to get a card in!

storminabuttercup · 14/03/2012 22:15

No idea what dp does, theres no love lost between me and his mother so I don't really care Blush

However I put all our names on my mums, dp calls my mum 'mum' so seems right!

2rebecca · 14/03/2012 22:15

The fact that my mum is dead doesn't alter my decision not to send a mother's day card to someone else's mum to try and gain a proxy mum so I don't really get pointythings' point.
I don't think my husband regrets not buying my mum a mother's day card whilst she was alive. Why would he? She's not his mum.

WhereMyMilk · 14/03/2012 22:18

Everyone gets cards. DC send one to granny's wishing them a lovely day.

Sign mine and DH names in my mother's, step mother's and his mother's!

Though I do find it hard to find an appropriate one for my mother, as she is such a self-absorbed grade A bitch who made my childhood a misery that I really cannot face sending her a wonderful mum card-and due to my own crappy guilt feelings, also can't face not sending one at all :(

bronze · 14/03/2012 22:21

I ordered Dhs flowers with a message from him

actually no it's because i like to buy uK seasonal flowers whereas he would just order shite

MrsS1980 · 14/03/2012 22:24

I put mine and DH@s names on both cards (DM and MIL) and send seperate cards from Ds to Grandma and Nana

rebecklet · 14/03/2012 22:26

I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your MIL. I have been with DH for 8 years but only got married last year and we have been signing them from both of us for probably 2/3 years. I don't call her Mum and I would never actually see her without DH (she lives at the other end of the country) but I know she likes it so it's all good with me :)

exoticfruits · 14/03/2012 22:32

I put us all-for my mother and MIL.

FilterCoffee · 14/03/2012 22:46

Yes, put all the names.