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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have any teachers ever taken parental leave?

30 replies

MrFunnytheEasterBunny · 13/03/2012 20:05

I want to take a weeks parental leave for the first week back in September to settle my DS into school. My DH will be out of the country, so he can't help out, and my family are not close enough to help either.

Have any of the mn teachers ever taken parental leave, and if so, we're the school okay with it? As far as I can see, they can only refuse it for a business case, i.e. it would be too disruptive for the business, and if anything, it would be more disruptive if I asked to take leave later in the year, closer to exams and controlled assessment due dates.

OP posts:
Grockle · 13/03/2012 20:09

I never have. DS started is in Y1 now but I didn't take leave to settle him into school. It never crossed my mind.

Debeez · 13/03/2012 20:11

How do you mean settle them in? Do parents go in with the kids in some schools?

stressheaderic · 13/03/2012 20:12

I sympathise with your situation but I think it's unlikely your head will grant it. For the pupils you teach, the first week of Sept is a vital settling-in period and they will require their proper teacher there.

hev2010 · 13/03/2012 20:15

I know a few teachers that have been given time by their head to take and pick up their child on their first day at school but not a weeks parental leave.

MaureenMLove · 13/03/2012 20:15

It wouldn't go down well at my school. And I don't think it would be less disruptive really, to be honest. It would mean your new classes would have a supply teacher for the whole of their first week back. Not a great start for new yr 7's.

Sorry. Probably not what you want to hear, but you might get a similar thing from HR, so at least you are forewarned! Grin

Original poster
MrFunnytheEasterBunny · 13/03/2012 20:20

Thanks for the replies. I shall still ask, but at least I know in advance what the general consensus is.

Unfortunately, the school my DS is likely to get in to is 25 min away fro school, we are an upper school with a 3 period day, and we finish at 3.40, the primary finishes at 3 so I wouldn't even be able to get there to drop off and collect him. It makes me sad to think of the other mummies being there, when I spoke to the school, they said they like the parents to come in with them to settle them in for the first few days, as it is more like what they have been used to in nursery, but I guess that is the price I pay. I will just have to settle other people's kids in and let mine be sad!

On the other hand, if I get good news, I shall update!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrFunnytheEasterBunny · 13/03/2012 20:21

This is where I got the info on parental leave in the first place, in case anyone is interested.

www.teachers.org.uk/files/parental-leave-guide-for-members-dec-11-_ls.doc

OP posts:
PatTheHammer · 13/03/2012 20:23

I have taken a days parental leave when I had an impossible childcare situation once (childminder on holiday, emergency childminder we were using then fell ill and DH and family could not take a day off).

They were fine about it but then it really wasn't as disruptive as a whole week. Seriously..........The thought of setting a whole weeks cover work and then marking the bloody stuff sends shivers down my spine. Can you just take a few days?? Can a family member come and stay with you that week to help out (providing they are not working as well?). I'm sure you have thought of all this already. What does your line manager say?

I do sympathise, the start of school is a nightmare at some primary schools. they seem to not work into the equation that many parents do have jobs. When DD started last year she didn't go full-time till the week before bloody october half-term and DH ended up using a load of holiday!

PandaNot · 13/03/2012 20:24

I've just applied for this for exactly the same reasons and it's been granted although I'm not a teacher working in a school, I'm a centrally employed teacher. They can't actually refuse it, only postpone it for 'business reasons', which would defeat the object of asking for it at that time. However if they had done that to me and said take it later I think I still would have on principal!

Original poster
MrFunnytheEasterBunny · 13/03/2012 20:29

I can cope with the idea of cover work, just want my DS to be settled into school okay, he won't be with his friends from nursery, so I feel bad for him.

Panda, thanks that gives me some hope!

OP posts:
laurz75 · 13/03/2012 20:30

I do sympathise, the start of school is a nightmare at some primary schools. they seem to not work into the equation that many parents do have jobs. When DD started last year she didn't go full-time till the week before bloody october half-term and DH ended up using a load of holiday!

Actually, most schools are very aware that parents have jobs but are putting the needs of the child first - with very good notice - as starting school is NOT the same as nursery even if they're used to fulltime daycare.

Grockle · 13/03/2012 20:41

My school did allow me to come in late on my DS's first day of school so I could take him there. He started a couple of weeks after the beginning of term though so my class were already settled and I was in work by 9.30 and in floods of tears

PatTheHammer · 13/03/2012 20:46

Yes thanks for that patronising comment Laurz, obviously I didn't give a shit about how my DD settled into school.

I will rephrase:

The schools in each area are NOT consistent with the time they spend in part-time/full-time. Some have one week, some have a whole half term.

Our school wanted them to do a mixture of mornings and afternoons in the settling in period...........an actual impossibility if you have one or more parents who cannot take time off in term-time.

there is no wrap-around child-minding in our area and the after-school club will only take them when they have completed the induction period.

They looked at me like an idiot when I calmly suggested that DD could do mornings only (instead of morning/afternoon rotation thing) as that would be a real help, I had to write a letter to the head to get final approval.

They are often (she is in year 1 now) asking me to attend meetings and other things during school hours. Then they always seem surprised when I say I can't come and DH will have to go instead......and take holiday

So, in my particular case, of my particular school that you have no knowledge of I admit, I do think they they do not consider what happens when both parents have jobs. There are not a huge number of working parents there so I don't think they feel they have to

The best of it is, I am NOT even full-time but that still doesn't help.

but anyway, thanks for asking, she settled in really well. Oh, and we thorougly enjoyed not having a full weeks family holiday last yearWink

McHappyPants2012 · 13/03/2012 20:46

Op I hope you get it.

soverylucky · 13/03/2012 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatTheHammer · 13/03/2012 20:49

MyFunny- my DD did not have any friends from nursery either and that was absolutely no bother to her at all. She loved it and enjoyed meeting lots of new friends. He will be fine Smile.

GetDownNesbitt · 13/03/2012 20:49

I got a late start on his first morning so I could take my son to school and the leg it to be at work. That was it.

Mendeleyev · 13/03/2012 20:57

I missed taking DD1 to school on her first day as I started a new part time job the same week. DH managed to take some flexi from work though but I would have felt bad if neither of us could have taken her on the first day. Missing stuff at DDs schools is definitely the worst part of being a teacher but at least I get the holidays (at the moment).

BackforGood · 13/03/2012 21:10

I would have thought the business case is that it would be very disruptive for your pupils on their first week of term.
It's one of the downsides of teaching, but it goes with the job I'm afraid (speaks as a Mum of 3 children who don't seem to have been traumatised by not having their Mum standing waving in the playground).

porcamiseria · 13/03/2012 21:12

what stresshead said, i just dont think in a job like yours you can

perks, holidays (most) off with kids
not perks, no sick days, no time off outside term time

c'est la vie

noblegiraffe · 13/03/2012 21:19

Teaching mums at my school rally around and cover for each other in this sort of situation. No way would SLT allow it officially.

chosenone · 13/03/2012 21:30

Errrm you are entitled to unpaid parental leave for under 7's . A teacher I know had a week to go on a big family holiday. I had one day unpaid spread over a week so I could drop off and pick up my DC for their first week. I'm quite close so it meant covering half of period 1 and 5 so I arrived late and left late, it was fine. Parents have been granted time off for DC assemblies, concerts and graduations etc. It's good for morale people dont mind giving something back in their own time if this kind of thing is occasionally granted. Hope you can get something sorted.

chosenone · 13/03/2012 21:31

I left early not late....that would be pointless

laurz75 · 13/03/2012 21:38

Patthehammer - I did not mean my comment to be patronising at all and certainly was not suggesting that you didn't care how your daughter settled in. To be fair you did make a sweeping and generalising comment that I reacted to. I'm sorry if I caused you offence - it was not intentional.

I was in the exact same position as you (I teach, DH doesn't) but am lucky that I had family close by and a lot of good friends who clubbed together to help each other out. We juggled the mornings/afternoons and it was absolutely right for my dd.

Incidentally - the school I work at offered parents the option for their child's induction to school - they could choose their admission pattern themselves. Parents who worked put their children in full-time (even if their child was not ready) and then even parents who (at first) didn't want their child in full-time, felt pressurised to follow suit. There were a lot of exhausted, tearful children in school most afternoons Sad.

As others have said, every job has its perks - I still have twangs of guilt that I have missed meetings etc in my dc school but hold on to the positives.

CrunchyFrog · 13/03/2012 21:43

I had to when DS1 was in hospital, and a couple of other times when his CM refused to take him (she insisted he had conjunctivitis. It was hayfever.)

It Did Not Go Down Well. Not at all.

Rather than taking it as unpaid leave, would they countenance you starting later/ finishing earlier for a bit? My school gave me time for DS1's SALT (which ONLY took place in school time) but docked an hour's salary each time.

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