to feel victimised by this (long)

[knittynoodle]

I'm really upset about this so go easy on me. I am in the wrong but the reaction to it was way over the top.

Background : We live in a flat on a road which has virtually no parking. There are spaces but we are in town so they get taken very quickly. When we first moved in we were allowed to park in the building car park but this changed about a year ago. Sometimes I have to park up to half a mile away across a main road and walk back with the shopping and the baby. Most of the houses on the road have both garages and driveways. There is one spot that has two drives close together but there is enough room between them to fit a car. I have seen practically every one of the usual car parker's use this space but I've never parked there because its always been full.

I parked there today, made two trips up to the flat with the shopping and DS, who fell asleep when we got upstairs so I wasn't able to move the car, and nor did I think I needed to as I've seen people use that spot hundreds of times. I was there for 2 hours. The car was gone when we went back to go to baby group. I broke down because I thought the car had been stolen.

I called the police from the street with the baby wriggling in my arms and they said one of the houses had reported it to the council as blocking his drive!! I wasn't even blocking it, I was over by less than a ft! I've seen (and am now taking photos for my appeal) people park far worse than this at that spot. I checked the highway code and it says 'you will not block the entrance to a house'. The council were more specific and said you should not cover any part of the lowered kerb including the side area's leaving a fair amount of room for manoeuvre.

If I was wrong to park there, fair dues, I didnt know the law, I just went by the highway codes rather wooly explanation. But AIBU to just feel so upset that this person - who is my neighbour and must see me all the time struggling with the baby up the stairs - has reported me when so many other people just park there all day. They took my buggy, my car seat etc in the car and refused to give any of it back before I paid the £250 fee. I took the baby on the bus to collect the car afterwards.

The council and the pound were very nice to me at the end and agreed it didn't seem fair (and they'd seen the photos), but said they had to uphold the fine as it had been issued. It just seemed like I had been singled out. I wish this guy had just knocked on my door and asked me to move

Oh, what a bugger. Sorry.

Maybe he didn't even register it was your car. Perhaps he doesn't even see you struggling - or link the car with you. You think he 'must' see you all the time struggling with the baby up the stairs - but maybe he doesn't.

I'm sure it really wasn't personal in any way. Most likely it was 'straw that broke the camel's back' time. If, as you say, people are always parking blocking his drive and parking really badly across it, perhaps he has been getting more and more pissed off and finally just saw yet another car and flipped and made the call.

knitty I've now got tears of exhausted, resigned, pissed off frustration and bitterness in my eyes. I don't even know you, but I feel your pain. I'd be so, soooo pissed off.
But, I guess the council people had to go by the book, they couldn't have clocked your car (sort of/nearly/not really, but strictly speaking) 'on# this man's drive, shrugged and left it there.
Does he actually know where you live? It doesn't sound as if he's a close enough neighbour to know.
I do feel your pain, though.

Sounds pretty unpleasant. Do you know this neighbour, have you ever spoken to them? Agree they should have asked you to move but perhaps they didn't realise it was your car? I suspect they are pissed off at everyone else who parks there and you just happened to cop it. Do you know if any of the other cars that have parked there have been removed in a similar fashion?

It does really peeve me when people resort to this sort of behaviour rather than coming and having a chat about it.

Impressive that the council managed to remove it within 2 hours!

There's a car in the spot now. Wonder if it will be towed!

I accept that yes, he maybe hasn't seen me struggling but you do always think people spot you when perhaps they don't. But I should stress, even when someone parks very badly there, his drive is never blocked enough not to be able to get a car on. Just the gradual drop at one side is covered.

oh you poor thing, im sure men really dont realise how hard we mothers work sometimes! I remember when my little girl was small it was a real struggle trying to get it all out of the car and that was on my own drive! You have to try and remember there are alot of lovely people out there who would care just a few mean hearted people too unfortunately! (BTW you seem to have my bad luck, im always the one that gets caught too!)

Yes YANBU at all. What a wanky neighbour. I would go round and apologise for blocking his drive and explain what you javel here's about transferring shopping and baby then falling asleep, and having seen loads of people parking there. Ask, in future, could he just knock on your door to save you money and inconvenience. It might diffuse some anger and frustration for you.

What a tosser

I did slip an apology through the door explaining our morning, the baby's nap and why I had been there. I also mentioned the cars I had seen parked there and so I thought it was an ok space. We are neighbours after all, and I said I didn't want a frosty atmosphere.

I knocked on this man's door when I first thought it was stolen and he was in and didn't answer

I think it's unlikely that he 'knows' you, knitty, since if he did then he'd probably also know that you often have to go back to the car - in which case he'd have ample opportunity to ask you to move/have a go at you or whatever.
I think it's much more likely that it was just a 'last straw' thing (parked cars generally, not just you). Or maybe there was a delivery or something that meant he really did need every cm of the drive today.
I know these things can feel like a personal attack because they ruin your day so badly. But I don't think this sounds like it is.

I would report the car in the drive. But I know that maybe not the best course of action if you want easy life.

x-posts.
Hmm, I see more why you feel it quite personally now. (There still could be a good reason for his not answering, though.)

Have you ever spoken to this neighbour before OP?

I like tattys style

I would be very upset to find my car gone too, and I really sympathise with the lack of parking.
However, I would not have parked in that spot. You cannot block part of a drive, even if it's less than a foot.

I would never intentionally block someone's drive Eeyore but I was not aware of how stringent the law is - I thought it was as simple as the highway code implies. Do not block the entrance. As his (big enough for two cars) drive was still accessible, I didn't feel I had blocked the entrance. There's a car in the spot right now.

I haven't spoken to this man before but I have seen him. He nods to DP when we see him.

Ahh that's what I suspected (that you hadn't spoken to him before)

You see perhaps the car owners do speak to him and politely ask him if it's ok to park there...they may also tell him which door to knock on if there's a problem getting out.

Therefore, he may see you as rude to just assume you can block part of his drive without knocking to ask if it's ok...and there's also a chance that (like me) you can never remember which bloody household owns which car when you want it moved.

I'm sure a polite knock and 'Is it ok there?' would have prevented this.

As someone who regularly has their drive blocked, I do ahve a lot of sympathy for the chap. It's very frustrating to have to weave round someone elses car, or have to go door knocking to find who's parked across before I can get out.

He nods to your dp???

He could very easily get in or out without any weaving, I only blocked the very edge where the kerb begins to go down. I was in no way across. There's a land rover there now (I have a fiesta) so bigger cars have parked there. I can see up to 10 different cars there in the day time. I wonder if they all ask his permission? Reading a few forums it seems our council are very quick to grab cars for the smallest of errors.

Yes, he nods and says "alright mate" or some other manly greeting!

Take photos of other cars parked there and ask the council why they haven`t been towed

Without going into a long ranty story about non-permit holders parking in our spaces and mad neighbours parking on their lawns then threatening to "trash" my car for parking in a space that wasnt blocking drives but would stop someone driving straight up onto their front garden to park, passing police told us that it is in fact perfectly legal to block someone's drive completely, so long as there are no parking restrictions. Obviously it would be wholly unreasonable but in this situation I would question under what authority your car was towed.

I think the law says you cannot obstruct entrance onto a public highway. Blocking entrance off a public highway is ok though, so if he was out in his car and then could not get back in then he has no grounds for complaint. I wonder if there is some local by-law in your area coming into play here?

If he is on nodding terms with your husband, then I'd send him round to deal with it.

For god's sake, £250 is such a hell of a lot of money to be fined for something like that.