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AIBU?

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to think that it will seem weird

11 replies

qazxc · 13/03/2012 09:43

My boyfriend and i are picking out baby names. He likes the name Daniel. The problem is that my ex has just had a baby and called it Daniel. I don't have contact with my ex but we do live in a small community and people in our social circle would be friends of his. I just think we should move on and pick another name as it will seem weird, that out of the thousands of names out there i pick the name my ex has picked for his child. My boyfriend thinks that i'm overeacting. What do you think?

OP posts:
FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 13/03/2012 09:46

I like the name Daniel

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 13/03/2012 10:09

A name is for life not just for pissing off exes

plutocrap · 13/03/2012 10:09

He's not the one with that association. Choose a nice name which he hates for some reason (snobbery or an unpleasant person of that name), and tell him he is overreacting, then see him suddenly understand!

imnotmymum · 13/03/2012 10:11

Yes that would come across as some weird stalking type thing

Tooblunt2012 · 13/03/2012 10:13

I think Daniel is a nice name, but agree with you that it seems a bit weird to use the name your ex has chosen for his child.

As previously mentioned, it's the name association which isn't good for you - so similar to you knowing someone of that name you don't like, therefore making it unlikely you'd use it for your DC. Good suggestion to offer a name your DH associates with something/one he doesn't like!

RodentOfUnusualSize · 13/03/2012 10:20

I am with your bf. I think that it would be weird if it was your ex's name, but I really don't think that it is that big a deal. It's not like it is an unusual name (if he was called Zebediah that would be a bit weird and stalkerish).

I remember when I had DD my DH suggested a name that was the same as my (ages ago) ex's dog. At first I thought that I couldn't use that name, and then I realised that I was being ridiculous and we went ahead and used it. This is literally the first time that I have thought about the dog (and ex) since then.

CailinDana · 13/03/2012 10:23

YANBU. I used to be a primary teacher and some names are firmly off my list for all eternity because I taught..ahem...difficult children with those names. If you have a certain association with a name it can really ruin it for you. It's important that you genuinely like your son's name and don't have any reservations about it.

DeWe · 13/03/2012 10:24

MIL says the same as Cailin... we used to tease her in each pregnancy by anouncing it as our favourite name. Mind you she had a form with 8 Daiels and a Danny in. She said all except one was "a handful".

DeWe · 13/03/2012 10:25

That's Daniels not Daiels. Blush

thepeoplesprincess · 13/03/2012 10:27

I think if you don't want to use it for whatever reason then that should be good enough for him tbh.

TroublesomeEx · 13/03/2012 11:50

But if you have picked the name because you and your DP like it, then what does it matter what name your ex has picked?

If it feels a bit too close for comfort for you, then choose something else. But by the time the children are at school/adults, no one will care.

Cailin is right. Unfortunately, I did my teacher training when DD was 1. In hindsight, I wouldn't have chosen her name!

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