what do I do about mean comments

[Archemedes]

Hey
my ds is 2 , i'm under no illusions my son has always been v. hyperactive at best spirited and at worst downright disobidient.
Hes certainly entered terrible 2's ,
When he is rolling around crying, paddying certain people instead of doing the right thing and ignoring the behaviour what im usually just breathing and waiting till its over after removing him.
Some people seem to make comment and engage like 'Oh hes a little bugger now'
'God what a kid you've turned into demanding, mardy little boy;
etc
It Makes me murderous it really does, really makes situations like this worse and I think its only so long till I snap at some onf these people.

AIBU to wonder what to do??

You should do what you expect THEM to do ... Ignore!!!

When my dd1 was 2yr, she had a major meltdown (was used to the more minor tantrums) while out shopping one day. I used my usual tactic which was to, like you, essentially ignore it. We were on the high street outside a shop and she was on the ground screaming with me standing about 5 foot away from her trying to pretend like nothing was happening. Anyway a shop assistant came out and told me someone was going to call the police soon!!! I told him to go ahead but I was pretty sure that they had more important things to handle than a tantrumong 2 yr old. Neadless to say after a few minutes she calmed down and we carried on our way.

But yes it is annoying when people seem fit to comment.

I was recently out with a friend, dd1 (now 7 and very well behaved) and dd2 who is 2. We were having lunch in a little bistro, it was a late lunch so pretty quiet in the place. Dd2 is fairly vocal, not in a screamy tantrumy way but just in a has a loud voice kind of way. Anyway she was very excited about something, I started trying to shush her a little when an old man at the next table made a remark about how in 'his day' children knew their manors! I made a remark back to him that in fact she was actually still a baby really and was still learning her manors. He huffed and puffed a bit but I just ignored him. Which essentially I have found is the best way to go - ignore and try not to take it personally.

You have to ignore these comments. I know it is hard at the time but anyone who is stupid enough to make this sort of remark isn't worth wasting thinking time on.

I remember the then 2 year old ds1 (King of the Tantrums and now the most laid back 30 year old you could imagine!) throwing the strop to end all strops at the bus station once. Two elderly women tutted and muttered about "Parents today have no control over their children" and I simply asked if they'd like to take over since they were clearly such experts on controlling tantrummy small boys. All suddenly went quiet on the judgemental front.

So cheer up. Everyone has been there and this too will pass!

When he is rolling around crying, paddying certain people instead of doing the right thing and ignoring the behaviour what im usually just breathing and waiting till its over after removing him

I think it depends where it happens, in a restaurant etc spoiling other people's meals is a different situation to kicking off outside Tescos for example.

The elderley women would've been able to slap their own children, but they couldn't slap yours, hence the backing off.

Just ignore them, as others have said. Or, if your quick enough, think of a suitable just as rude response.

Once, when my son was very small (still in carrycot) I was pushing him through City Centre when a random woman got right into my face to say 'Your jaw must ache from chewing that gum like a cow.' I actually had the wits to say 'And your nose must ache from poking it into others people's business so much'. The look on her face was priceless.

BTW, it was nicotine gum so I would blow smoke over my son!

Trouble is the older generation were the smacking generation. If you were to smack nowadays then someone would probably report you. You can't win, so I think you have to ignore.

Ignore the horrible people who are too ignorant to do anything but give you a supportive look / comment, you are doing the right thing and your DS will grow out of it.

Ah yeah I agree the smacking generation are very quick to comment.

thing his he was a perfect baby and just 180 and people are like 'god he was such a nice baby' as if hes the anti christ now.

thanks for comments.

Just smile, it is quite amazing to see a child in the throws of a full tantrum, and ignore.

I feel for you... it cuts to the quick when folk criticise your children doesn't it? Especially when you, yourself are all to aware of the problem and stressed to the hilt.
When DS1 was little, I can remember shouting back on at least 3 occasions. I blush when I think about it now. He is now 24 and a lovely, lovely young man.

*too

Is smacking well known to calm down a two-year old having a paddy? Weird, I've seen out of control mums smacking their two years olds and it just makes them scream louder. I am not totally anti-smacking but even I realise smacking can do little once a tiny one has lost control (unless you are prepared to really really hurt them to regain control which would be despicable).

Ignore them, the best are comments from people who don't even have their own children, but mysteriously would have had only the perfectly behaved ones if they had.