Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To talk to ds's teacher about this (or would I come across as a lunatic)?

29 replies

LiegeAndLief · 12/03/2012 19:50

Ds is in year 1 in an infants school. They have an after school football club which is massively oversubscribed, so they pick the names out of a hat. Fine. We didn't apply for ds as he was already going to a football club outside school, but he would get another chance to put his name down in Y2 if he wanted.

Every break and lunch time, the boys (sadly no girls!) who are in the football club get to play football in a special bit of the playground. No other children are allowed to join in or play football anywhere else. Ds thinks this is horribly unfair and I am inclined to agree (although with nowhere near the same amout of vitriol...). Loads of kids want to do this, but a lucky few not only get to join the club but also get to play football three times a day every day. If ds had known this he would have wanted to put his name down for the club! I am tempted to say something. Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:

tumbleweedblowing · 12/03/2012 19:53

YANBU

I would have thought it fairer if they were the children excluded! At the very least they should have some sort of rota if they can't cope with more than a few doing it at once.

Actually the more I think about it the more it seems to me that it is about what's easiest for the playground supervisors to manage rather than what's good for the children.

You'd need to be super calm and helpful if you tried to broach it though..

cocolepew · 12/03/2012 19:56

YANBU, that's not fair.

choccyp1g · 12/03/2012 19:58

YANBU that is totally unfair.

Ingles2 · 12/03/2012 19:59

you need to go in and check that, cos I can't believe that actually is the case.
would be ridiculously unfair if so.

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 12/03/2012 20:14

Phew, I was expecting a load of people to come on and tell me how PFB I was being.

It has occured to me that this might not be the actual truth, but ds has told me who plays and I know the boys he mentions are in the club. He also tried to join in one day with another friend who isn't in the club, and one of the dinner ladies told them they weren't allowed to play and made them go away. Maybe I could approach it in a "ds thinks, but I can't belive this is true" kind of way?

OP posts:

loubielou31 · 12/03/2012 20:23

Yes definitely check how they decide who plays football before making a complaint. It might be that the names of those who'd like to play are again picked out of the hat and it hasn't been his turn yet, although it would be much fairer and probably easier to manage to have a rota so everone gets a turn in the end. If it is how your ds describes then I would agree that this is vastly unfair.

DeWe · 12/03/2012 20:29

I'd approach it in a "I expect ds has got the wrong end of the stick" sort of way. Or is it possible that there's some of the bigger boys enforcing it, as another option?

treadwarily · 12/03/2012 20:34

How unfair. I think the ones who didn't get into the club should be allowed more turns. Just check the facts incase he has it a bit mixed up!

hmmmmmmmmm · 12/03/2012 20:54

I hope your DS has got it a bit wrong, but I'd check anyway.

At my DSs' school each year group has an allocated day of the week when it's their turn to play football at lunchtime. Maybe you could suggest that?

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 12/03/2012 21:01

Possibly bigger boys enforcing it, although as he is at an infants school the biggest boys are only Y2, and ds is probably bigger than most of them! Plus he was very definite that it was the dinner lady who told him he couldn't play when he tried to.

I had better go in and ask hadn't I? I was hoping it would blow over but the poor boy comes home from school every day complaining about it. I'm a bit intimidated by ds's teacher - she is very firm and she talks to all the parents like we are 5 year olds - will have to build myself up to it!

OP posts:

Eglu · 12/03/2012 21:12

I would definitely go in and check. If that is correct it is grossly unfair.

SandStorm · 12/03/2012 21:29

It's actually very unfair for all the children concerned, not just the ones who are missing out on the football at break and lunchtime. Those who do have to play each day are missing out on socialising with children other than their team mates and I can't believe that's good for any of them.

Pozzled · 12/03/2012 21:29

I would definitely check and complain if it is the case.

My guess would be: The boys in the club are setting the 'rule' and using the club as a status thing. When your DS approached and asked to play, they didn't let him play and then they told the dinner ladies he was interrupting their game. The dinner ladies then told your DS to leave them alone without investigating fully.

Of course I may be completely off the mark! I'll be interested to hear what they say.

wellwisher · 12/03/2012 21:44

YANBU. If this is actually what they're doing, I would be tempted to buy 10 cheap footballs from a pound shop and lob them over the playground fence at breaktime to cause anarchy

randommoment · 12/03/2012 21:51

I suspect Pozzled is near the truth. Teachers tend to be necking sandwiches and catching up on marking at lunchtimes and if they do look in on the playground it will often only be a cursory glance to make sure WW3 hasn't started.

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 12/03/2012 21:53

If it is the football club boys saying that no one else is allowed to play, is it fair to ask the school to force them to let others in or take turns to play? If ds was telling me that so and so was playing a game and wouldn't let him join in I wouldn't even consider talking to his teacher unless they were being really unkind or bullying or he was being completely excluded.

Oh god I find this whole thing such a minefield, it seems so hard to find a line between helping ds out and not being too precious! Was much easier when he was 2

OP posts:

TheSkiingGardener · 12/03/2012 21:58

However it's happening it's very unfair. I would definitely talk to the school and get some facts and then demand request a fair system.

mummytime · 12/03/2012 22:01

My DCs school regularly bans football, as it tends to cause bad behaviour. Do talk to the teacher.

TheresASpareChairOverThere · 12/03/2012 22:02

Agree with skiing , very unfair, YANBU

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 12/03/2012 22:06

Fortunately there have been no reports of WW3 yet... although chucking 10 footballs into the playground may put that right

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 12/03/2012 22:15

I thought you were going to say it was a football club after school with the local football club coaches coming. I organised one of those once - there were 50 places and it was first come first served for each of three half terms. Oh goodness, they used to start queuing in the playground from 7.15.

But, football at lunchtime and breaktime, they had a rota. A year group each day, no footie on Thursdays (which was netball practice for the year 5/6 girls and golden football for the team champs on Fridays). And Fridays were an issue I was led to believe. Funny how ds was always chosen - perhaps because him mum organised the rest of the football training and ran the summer fair, and went in and did reading - runs for cover !!

paddyclamp · 12/03/2012 23:08

The whole things sounds insane ... YANBU

As for the football club being oversubscribed, would it not be fairer to say so many boys attend Sept to Dec, another set Christmas to Easter and another again from Easter onwards....that's what they do at my kids school when clubs are oversubscribed!

I agree with a lot of others who have said go in with the approach that your DS may have got the wrong end of the stick BUT...

Let us know how you get on!

BackforGood · 12/03/2012 23:17

Def go and ask in a "I'm sure ds has the wrong end of the stick" kind of way.
Also, see if the School Council can come up with some fairer turn taking of the football space. Infant Schools' School Councils get quite into discussing things like what happens at playtime and dinnertime play, so this would be a great one for them to sort out.

Original poster

LiegeAndLief · 14/03/2012 15:58

Update for anyone who's interested:

I plucked up the courage to speak to ds's teacher today. She was actually very nice about it. It is definitely not a school rule that only football club boys can play (thank goodness, as up to now I thought he was in a nice normal school!), she suggested that he tries again and if the boys don't let him play to take it to the school council, and that she will also mention it in the staffroom and to the dinner ladies.

So thank you very much for telling me to go in and ask, as ds is now much happier and I'm very glad I did!

OP posts:

ariadne1 · 14/03/2012 17:12

Golden rule - be wary of short people bearing tall tales!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread