To want to keep my 3 year old safe

[BlackCatTryingToFly]

Last year DD didn't want to go in the buggy anymore so I decided she could walk if she let me hold her hand.
Now she is 3.3 years old and when I hold her hand she tries to struggle (apart from crossing roads which is not negotiable).
So today I let her walk next to me as long as she didn't run off and she stay away from the road. She fell over a couple of times but this is part of growing up, isn't it?

AIBU for wanting to keep her safe or am I being over protective?

Personally I think YABU as I let my children juggle knives

it's fine

YANBU for wanting to keep her safe, but she does need to learn to walk without holding on to something at some point.

You'd be being over protective if you changed your mind and clung on to her for ever, but you wouldn't be BU for secretly wishing you could

Sounds fine. I'd still hold hands with my 4 & 6 y.o.s next to busy roads - saw a kid trip and fall into the street a couple of years back. Car had to swerve to avoid him. Could have been messy. So, no, you're not at all U.

I don't think you're going to find a single person who will say YABU for wanting to keep your DD safe, not even here on AIBU.

I would get her ears checked, my dd was falling over like that and it was an inner ear infection I mistaken for teething

I fall over walking and I'm 22

Ha! Me to (except I'm 23), I fell off a flipping curb today, ds grabbed my hand and said "Mummy, I will hold your hand so you don't fall over anymore!"

He's 4

when you are somewhere safe, like the park, play the 'FREEZE' game. she can run around, do what she wants, but when you shout, she must be like a statue.

I trained DS up and he is very good now, doesn't get too far ahead, stops if I see danger, etc. etc. :)

YANBU btw .

Holding my hand was always non negotiable for me

All 3 of them went through little phases of struggling now and then but they soon gave up when they realised they weren't getting their own way.

MY DS 20 mo has been walking without reins for a few months. I carry him across busy roads, and hold hands on others, but he always stops at the kerb now.
HE had hissy fits wearing reins and just started sitting on the floor and not moving, took them off and he's fine.

I think yanbu to want to keep her safe, but if she's fine walking along sensibly, then let her be. Falling over is fine, and as long as she is sensible then don't bother with reins. Perhaps always carry them in your bag as safety if she starts missbehaving. Let her know that you will put them on if she doesn't listen or doesn't stay sensible or whatever. I do, but have never needed them.

I'm sorry I don't really understand what it is you are asking.I don't understand why a child of 3 is falling over walking so much??

I'll probably get a lot of flak for this....but whatever happened to using reins for young children? I used them with all 3 of mine, plus they had to learn to hold hands with me as well. If you are that worried about them letting go of you ,reins are a failsafe.
Better safe than sorry, I think.

Oh dear my post doesn't make any sense now...crossed with other posters

Mine both ditched the pushchair at 2
DD1 is very "good"
DD2 is more of a free spirit

For me not holding hands from that age was fine.
Holding hands to cross road absolutely non-negotiable
If I shout STOP they must STOP no questions asked

It works fine. DD2 is 2.5 and also falls over the whole time - some children are just like that. She goes full pelt at everything and doesn't pay attention / look where she's going.

Oh so I think YANBU is what I think I am getting at

DS has been walking beside me like this pretty much from as soon as I could trust him to walk, which was quite early, 2 or so.

The rules are if it's a busyish road then he must walk on the non-road side, I'm more relaxed on large pavements too, if it's narrow or very busy then he needs to hold my hand and always holds hands when we cross, although on the very quiet roads near home or where there are crossings with lights I let him walk by himself as long as he listens to me telling him when it's safe. He's fine with this.

Generally he only falls over if he's running and trips up.

Reins never worked with him because he would just sit down in the middle of the street and refuse to walk. I just held his hand or if he refused to co-operate he went in the pushchair.

Yes when the pushchair was being given up it was hold hands or go in the pushchair. The threat was usually enough.

I suppose what I should have said is

"AIBU for not making her hold hands"

Cause every parent would want their child to be safe (hopefully!)

Thanks for your replies anyway

Ariadne, maybe the pavements are uneven? The ones arounds where we live are awful and both ours trip/stumble especially if tired as well.

Why does she fall over? Was she holding your hand when she tripped? Do you walk quickly?

If you know there isn't a problem causing her to fall, and you can trust her to walk with you and stop when you say so, then YANBU to walk beside each other without holding hands.

"Yes when the pushchair was being given up it was hold hands or go in the pushchair. The threat was usually enough."

That's where DD2 and I are at the moment :)

DD1 is nearly 4 and she's been fine not holding my hand for nearly a year now, but only on quiet streets. By main roads and crossing the road, we hold hands.

She was the kind of toddler who would run and keep on running, but at a certain stage suddenly it became possible to trust her to stay near, stop when I called, and be sensible by the road.