to think we did Christmas with his family, shouldnt we do Mother's Day with mine?

[boschy]

The title sums it up really; we went to DH's parents on Christmas Day, had my mother here on Boxing Day - meaning that she was alone on Christmas Day. She she didnt mind, but I know she was a bit low when I spoke to her on Christmas morning. Neither the children nor I wanted to go on Christmas Day, DH said he didnt really care, so we went to show willing to ILs.

Now SIL wants us all to go to hers on Mother's Day, but I think it's my mum's turn.

Mum was invited to Christmas and would be invited to Mother's Day, but she is a) not that mobile these days and in pain - so a 1.5 hour car journey just to go out for lunch and then the same back again wouldn't be a great deal of fun for her; b) really quite deaf so finds some social occasions quite difficult and c) not really that keen on my in-laws (I have sympathy with her).

I've said that everyone is welcome here on Mother's Day - 2 mins from my Mum's so she can come for lunch and go home when she is tired/has had enough. She's 82 and widowed btw.

DH thinks I dont want to go to SIL's just because I am not that keen on his family, and that SIL wants to be the hostess and so we should go. I think his points are right; but also that mine are too - and the fact that neither I nor our DDs enjoyed Christmas day means I have a point.

SIL and ILs have not responded to my suggestion yet... to be honest I couldnt care less about Mother's Day, but DH's family make a big thing about even opening an envelope. DH doesnt, but feels we should humour them - but surely not to the extent that none of us enjoys ourselves, AND to the exclusion of my mother?

Good to hear you have it sorted :) hope SIL takes it well.

We don't do loads on Mothers Day. My husband will get kids to do cards and breakfast. Then for the past decade + we've gone to see his Mum. Fair enough as she lives close and it's a nice family get together.

I need to go to visit my parents and the only free weekend is next weekend. It turns out my husband will come once he's discussed with his siblings what they're all doing! Yesterday he texted that we could take both cars, it's a 2 hour trip, then on Sunday morning he could drive back to see his mother.

Great he's hapilly taken free holiday accommodation, money, nice meals and child care but won't spare one sodding Mothers Day with her. No instead he wants to leave me early with two children, and a car to pack. He'll turn at his mother who will pity him and cook a meal.

He can feck right off and stay at home by himself.

oh there's a back story to Christmas which I wont go in to! suffice it to say there was a big guilt trip from ILs which DH was sucked in by. it was not a good day and we are resolved not to do that again. and mum came to ours on boxing day which was lovely, and she was able to go at her own pace rather than having to do things the IL's way.

re asking SIL and ILs if they want to come here - well its a nice offer isn't it? up to them whether they come or not, but seems better than simply saying "no we're not coming because we want to see boschy's mum". not sure that I see it as upsetting their arrangements as someone mentioned earlier?

(I seem to have forgotten how to do capital letters!! Sorry about that)

"re asking SIL and ILs if they want to come here - well its a nice offer isn't it?"

Well surely it was also a nice offer when SIL made it also-just inconvenient for your Mum?

Ah no, because we are EXPECTED to turn up to ILs/SILs things at the drop of a hat - so our not going always causes raised eyebrows and "oh well in that case/if that's what you want to do" type response.

I couldnt give a fiddlers whether they come to us or not - would obviously make them very welcome, be nice hostess etc; nor would I expect them to make the journey unless they actively wanted to.

"Ah no, because we are EXPECTED to turn up to ILs/SILs things at the drop of a hat - so our not going always causes raised eyebrows and "oh well in that case/if that's what you want to do" type response."

Ah well, that´s their problem.

I still you should just have said thanks but no thanks & just arrange to see your mum.

Let your husband do as he wants.

And don´t get guilted into CD at the ILs-especially if no one is bothered about going.

I maybe sound selfish, but life´s too blooming short!