Parties on the same day - WWYD?

[sc13]

DS is turning 6, and we're having a birthday party. We booked venue, bouncy castle, magician, and were going to invite all his school friends. A lot of the children have birthdays this time of the year; I had been talking to one of the mums, and since our children's birthdays are close, I even suggested having a joint party. She said she'd think about it.
This morning she told me she has booked a venue, and it's on the same day as DS's party! She forgot what the day was.
Now, I'm in a panic because her DD is very popular, and my DS has autism. He is doing well for a child with his condition, but his socializing skills are not great. He likes his schoolmates, though, and he'd be heartbroken if nobody turned up. I am now very worried that all the children will go to the other party instead. No invitations have gone out yet.
WWYD? Ex-DH says we should change our date. Or should we just go ahead and take our chances? Or should we unbook everything and just have a small thing at home? But DS thinks he's going to have a big party now.
I wish birthday parties had never been invented...

If you can't do a joint one, move it
The whole thing is v stressful
Have a good time when you get it sorted

Move it for sure, because as horrible as it is, the others are likely to choose the alternative party over your ds's. You can still have a wonderful happy time with all his friends around him, just move it back a week.

I'd move it too. And get the invitations out asap.

Are they booked at the same time?

We recently went to 2 parties in one day. One was 11am-1pm and the other was 3pm-5pm.

Most children from the class attended both.

What did the other mum say when she realised she had booked for the same day? She ought to move hers really. Could you directly ask her to?

Can't you speak to the other mother - you booked your venue first, told her all about it and even asked her to share. SHE should be the one moving her date not you - her silly mistake when you had discussed the whole thing! If you explain it to her just as you have done to us, I am sure she will help you out.

If there at different times there is no problem. We've often gone to 2 in one day. Depends how easily shiftable it is. It's not an uncommon occurrence.
Otherwise, just get your invites out first!

Ask her again about having a joint party. Or if the parties are at different times then have both - the children won't mind having two parties to go to.

It was incredibly rude of the other mum to book hers on the same day. Can you talk to her again, stressing that one of them should be rescheduled and see what you can come up with between you? She might offer to move hers.

I wouldn't mention a joint party again tbh, if she had wanted that she would have come back to you. I would change the date - at the end of the day it's about your DS and what is likely to make his party a success rather than who should morally do what.

Parties here are very much organized on gender lines so I wouldn't think twice about planning a party for DD that would clash with a boy's party but it's obviously different where you are.

Some people think about things more than other people. It probably hasn't crossed her mind that it could be a problem.

Try and move yours and then get the invites out as soon as you can. Send them out at the start of the week so you have more opportunity to catch other mothers at school for RSVPs whilst it's fresh in their minds.

It's unfair, as you booked the day first, but I would move the party to a free day if you can. Better than worrying your ds will be upset on his birthday.

I think you are right Pixie, BUT I doubt the other mother will switch her party if she is confident that she will get attendee's....

SC13 - I'd move your sons party if he was mine, then get invites out - hand them out yourself - and make sure you tell the other parents that you've switched the date as you were worried about children attending. I find that in these situations a little guilt trip doesn't harm . Your ds won't know about the politics involved but he'll have a well attended party which he'll love!

i would move it, if you can do so without too much hassle or cost.

dd1 had her first party of this kind this year, and i was in bits worrying about who would turn up. you don't need the extra worry of another party to compete with.

then get invitations out. we would always go to something if we've rsvp-ed, even if something else came along.

I would move the party. It will be less stressful that worrying that half the guests won't be able to come. I would try to book for the weekend before or after the other party not the same weekend.

I will try to move the party to the week before; if that doesn't work, I'll keep the date I have and send the invites out as soon as I can. I will definitely guilt-trip the other parents to the best of my abilities .
The parties are actually one in the morning and one in the afternoon, so hopefully if it comes to plan B at least some of the kids will come to both.
I think the other mum genuinely forgot; her DD's always ever so nice to DS.
Thank you for all your answers, and thank you also for not telling me off for being an over-anxious wreck!! I don't think I knew what social anxiety was before DS got his diagnosis...