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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child being sick yesterday evening, yet in school today!!

51 replies

twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 09:31

A friend of DDs was on FB to me yesterday afternoon saying his DD (in my DDs class at school) was being sick and having diarrhoea.
I said that it was a real shame and that it would mean she was missing more school (she has missed a few days here and there recently).
I think, now, he maybe didn't respond to it as such. I said that the rules were 48hrs after the last sickness bout so it woudl be Wednesday until she was in then.

Yet, there they are bold as brass this morning!
Came home here to see that the mother has written on facebook, to another mother that her DD was still being sick when she got home from work.
Yet, there she is In School!!

The mother had said that her DD wanted to go to school and only if she made a miraculous recovery would she be there.
Whether the child feels better or not is not the point!
I mean, why would they make up the rule unless to safe guard the other children??
My DS had the bug last week. My DD looked like she migh t be headed towards it on Saturday but was just a bit out of sorts for the day, absolutely fine on Sunday.
I felt, as she was not sick, that it woudl be ok to send her to school, a close call, but all is well.
The mother in question seemed to me to just be kidding, afterall, I had said to the father about the school rules, I thought DD would be safe enough.
Given that this mother and the other mother were saying that the class would be less pupils today.
But this girl is in, and sits at my DDs table!!

What should I do?
Perhaps I am over reacting?
Perhaps I should have just kept my DD off, just to be on the safe side?
But when you see that people are talking about the class being 'a bit smaller tomorrow' you think that it would be ok.
But to place the child in the class knowing she has been sick yesterday evening??

AIBU to think that it is totally wrong??
Or AIBU cos I should just not have taken the risk with my own DD?

OP posts:
SaraSidle · 12/03/2012 09:36

Well it's wrong but it happens. Not much you can do

If your dd us sick at school today then that could be others infected too, it's nobodies fault

ItsOkItsJustMyBreath · 12/03/2012 09:54

YANBU about the other child, she shouldn't be at school and it really angers me that people feel they can ignore the 48 hour rule. It's why these viruses have spread and become almost inescapable. Not sure what you can do other than speak to the class teacher about it so they can make sure children are washing their hands properly and maybe send out a reminder letter to parents?

Wrt your DD, do you think she has the bug? Feeling out of sorts is different to having a d&v bug. If you really think she has it then yes, you should have kept her at home as these bugs are passed so easily and whilst your dd might not have had it too bad, the child might. It is difficult though!

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2012 09:54

Yes it's wrong

Yes you are over reacting

No-one wants their child to catch a stomach bug but keeping her off 'just in case' would be ludicrous imo.

Just do your best to teach her about hygiene and how important washing her hands is.

You can't do any more than that considering there may have been lots of kids at school less than 48hrs after they were last sick (our policy is 24hrs) but you just don't know about them.

Mrsjay · 12/03/2012 10:02

you are over reacting there isnt anything you can do about this , although the mum shouldnt be sending her child to school after a tummy bug its not right YANBU about that ,

FlossieTeacakeShouldFakeIt · 12/03/2012 10:08

It's wrong, and you aren't over reacting. I think people that can be blasé about it must be people that don't have family at home with pre existing medical conditions. A d&v bug can be much worse for some people than for others, and while most people won't be badly affected, some could be.

I would call the school and say that I would like the child to be sent home. I don't expect them to do what I tell them, but if they didn't I would remove my child.

My dh is diabetic, if he catches a simple d&v bug it can completely mess up his control, and I'm not prepared to allow that because someone wants to send their kids into school when they shouldn't be there.

People who do this are extremely selfish, completely inconsiderate and do not have the right to take chances with other peoples health. This is something that really annoys me, can you tell?

treadwarily · 12/03/2012 10:11

Where I work, if a child is known to have a stomach bug within past 48 hours, they are isolated until parent collects. No ifs or buts. Though wouldn't work in this case as we wouldn't police via FB.

WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill · 12/03/2012 10:15

Well I sent my DD in just 24 hours after she was sick. My reasoning- she was sick after coming home from school (about half an hour). If she was infectious for 48 hours after she was infectious the day she sat in the classroom brewing a stomach bug.
So I kept her off for one day, that was all.

Rogerbacon · 12/03/2012 10:15

She isn't the first to do this and will not be the last and calm down everyone it's not the plague we are talking about

leftmysociallifeatthedoor · 12/03/2012 10:18

Yes it wrong of the parents BUT you sound near hysterical.

Heyyyho · 12/03/2012 10:19

I don't think you are over reacting.

A stupid woman from my school took two sick children to a carol concert where they were sick in church and infected everyone. They had been vomiting the day before.

People are inconsiderate and selfish. D& v can mean hospital for some children.

TheSmallPrint · 12/03/2012 10:43

I don't think you're over reacting either but that's because I am completely phobic about sickness and also becasue it would mean taking time off work when I can't afford to. These are my selfisih reasons but there are more vaild ones up there ^.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 10:49

hahaSmile I probably did sound near hysterical but I was very cross as I typed.

I don't know, can you say that I found out on FB? The Father told me via PM on FB, so it was not just someone else's post I read but a personal message, during which I said that she ought not to be in school for a couple of days.

DD was not sick, she didn't really feel 'sick' she just felt rubbish. It is just that I was on alert incase she was.

I was really tempted to call the school as soon as I got home as saw what the mother had written (about her being sick even after she had returned home from work) But, I don't know what time she came home from work. Her usual time is 5ish, but it wouldn't necessarily be the case on a Sunday.

I don't know that I want to go making a huge deal of it all, just wanted to vent.
I do think it is just life, some people have an ounce of sense, others don't.
What are ya gonna do?

On the other hand, I will be going back to collect DS from playgroup soon. Do you think I should just pop my head into the secretary?
Then it can be up to the teacher/head teacher.

I don't really want to be a grass, but.............

OP posts:
Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 10:51

whale they say 48 hours after the last bout of sickness, in our school. So that would have been a little soon perhaps?

OP posts:
Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 11:20

Just got a text message from the mother, her DD has been sent home from school.
She was not sure if she had been sick at school or not.

Glad she has been sent home though.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 12/03/2012 11:37

The school should have a sickness policy in place (usually 48 hours from last incidence of d & v). If they were clearly in breach of this, you would have been totally justified in insisting the school sent her home. I would have done.

ZonkedOut · 12/03/2012 12:01

I would be annoyed too. My DD1 (2.10) is just getting over a D&V bug, she's been ill since Tuesday and was last sick on Saturday morning, but had a dodgy nappy yesterday morning so I'm not taking her to a baby and toddler group this afternoon, in case she is still infectious. The doctor recommended 48 hours after last symptoms.

DD2 (nearly 1) had the same bug, but only had a couple of days of dodgy nappies, different children react differently. A bug which makes one kid a little sick could make another badly sick.

I've spent the last week changing and washing bedding, pajamas, clothes, floors, carpets, etc because of this bug. Plus the worry of having a sick kid. Anyone who knows the rules and still risks passing something like this on to other kids is being antisocial at best.

Fizzylemonade · 12/03/2012 12:17

Maybe the reason children come home from school ill is because some parent sent their child in too soon after having d&v and passed it on Grin

I reported someone for it, in my defence there is a child in the class with a compromised immune system after having chemotherapy. I was appalled that another mother sent her child in less than 12 hours after he had last vomited.

He had been off school but she went ahead with a dinner party (I had no idea he had been off) We heard the boy throwing up in the bathroom while his Dad dealt with it. His older brother was the one to share that he had been throwing up all day.

Next day, there he was, walking into the classroom.

The child was questioned but just said "My Mum said to say that I had a headache yesterday" Hmm

ZonkedOut · 12/03/2012 12:25

Fizzy, that's appalling.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 12:43

Just met the dad in the shop. Asked how his DD was, he just smiled and said 'She's Fiiine.' As if, the whole thing was a big fuss.
It just seems shockingly irresponsible and thoughtless to others, to me SadAngry

OP posts:
Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 12/03/2012 12:52

YANBU OP

my ds's little friend was indeed taken to hospital twice a couple of weeks ago because she'd been vomiting for 10 days - she'd caught it from her brother so it couldn't be helped but she reacted really badly to the virus

Many years ago I was following the 48 hour rule with my DD - thinking to myself she was fine - lo and behold about the time the 48 hours was up she was sick again so school are quite right to say 48 hours - I'd be very cross indeed and no you're not over reacting

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 12:55

He has written on FB that she was sent home at 915.
Sounds like she told her teacher as soon as she got into class, he immediately took her out.
I can just imagine him doing that too.

Yeah, for DDs teacher!

OP posts:
Original poster
twinklingfairy · 12/03/2012 12:56

And yet he is still shrugging his shoulders to imply a fuss is being made over nothing. Hmm

OP posts:
Haribos · 12/03/2012 13:06

I would always keep my children home for the 48 hours after the last time they were sick.
I am a working mum with 4 children and I don't have lots of help so I wouldn't find it easy. I have kept them home when they have been sick once and then been running and jumping all the over the house like normal an hour later.
As the other posters have mentioned there could be a child there who is badly affected by a sicky bug - like if they have diabetes or immune problems.

SunflowersSmile · 12/03/2012 13:13

Interesting to see if he is back tomorrow. Doubt the Dad will be advertising him throwing up today on FB if he does!
YANBU in my opinion.

BettyPerske · 12/03/2012 13:27

The people who do this 'in the next day because it's easier to pretend it never happened and the child wants to go back' seem to be the people who can afford to take time off if they need to.

I've encountered the same thing - one family with two homes, flexible hours so working from home if they want to, and a very laid back attitude.

Apparently anyone who questions it is making a huge drama out of it, and it's no problem if kids pass things on, that's just what happens.

Well it's no problem in their circumstances. For single parents without any outside help, those needing to go to work because their income depends on it and those with already vulnerable family members it's a fucking huge problem.

But it's all about them I suppose.