A bit shocked/annoyed that this happened?

[jester68]

My eldest daughter had her birthday party yesterday afternoon.

Everything going smoothly. Out of all invites only 4 did not come. 3 never replied at all. 1 replied saying they were coming but did not turn up. That's fine as there has been a lot of illness at her school the last couple of weeks including chicken pox, slap cheek etc.

Anyway one mum came with her 2 invited children. Then said she had her friend's child with her as well ,hoped I did not mind.

Thought that's fine. There were parents there who had siblings with them so no different really.

UNTIL!

Came back out from the kitchen into the hall (at community centre) to find this mother had actually gone and left- leaving the child who I did not know, my child did not know. No contact numbers. I did not even know the child's name!

Obviously I asked her name and treated her like the rest but she was very quiet and I had to console her a couple of times as she got upset.

Is this normal? First party I have ever done and though I expected some of the parents to leave the invited children I never dreamt I would be left with a child that we did not even have a name for!

I am more puzzled than annoyed. Just was added stress dealing with her while trying to calm 25 other children, sort the food etc.

So AIBU to be slightly shocked that this happened?

They were mainly 5,6 and 7 year olds. Child in question was about 7.

Who picked the child up???

That is so not on IMO.

Outrageously brilliant! Why didnt I think of ever having a friend over to play the sending them all to a party!

Seriously though - that is cheek and a half, then some

I wonder what she told her mum 'great time at such and suches - got left at a party with a bunch of strangers'. I would be v unhappy at that.

She picked them up at the end. But it was manic with all parents who had left arriving at same time, plus others leaving etc so did not get a chance to say anything.

I did send the LO with a party bag and cake etc though. Not her fault at all.

And Trois I was thinking the same! Maybe that is the way to do things!

I would have thought a 7 year old would be capable of telling you their name.

There could be a very good reason why she had the other child with her, and I would assume her children knew the other child anyway.

Allergies?
Medical conditions?
Special dietary needs?
Poor kid. I'd be fuming!

That's a crappy thing to do to a kid. Leave her where she knows only one child?

I would have had a word myself.

POINS apparently I have heard that the child's mum did not know about it till after.

I would not be happy if someone left my child with people she did not know while they were supposed to be looking after her though. But then I am not sure I know anyone who would do that normally!

YANBU. I'd have been raging.

Definitely not normal practice, as far as I'm aware anyway.

SQUEAKY- the woman's 2 children knew her. Might have been a good reason to have her with her -that is not in question. But to leave her? Without checking it was OK and making sure we knew her name and had contact details etc? I knew nothing about her!

I think I am more upset as the girl was obviously unhappy. I did get her to join in with games etc and she did perk up after a while.

Completely out of order, iMHO

You had the contact details for the woman who dropped the child off didnt you?

Maybe there was something going on at home that meant the child's mother had asked her friend to have her child for a while. The woman had said that her kids were going to a party, but she would ask if you minded her daughter joining in too.

I just dont see it as that big a deal to be honest.

I had NO contact details for the mother who dropped them off. She had said she was staying. Went to the kitchen to sort some food out, make some coffees for parents that stayed.

When I came back out she had already left leaving no information at all.

Also one of my friend's knows the girl's mum and apparently she had no idea that the girl was going to be LEFT at the party. Just that she was going to take her along as well.

So neither I nor the girl's mother knew she was going to be left there while the woman went off and did whatever for the next 2 hours.

:( Poor child. I would have been seriously upset and freaked out by that at 7 and tried desperately to hide it.

I know BERTIE. I was a shy child and if someone had done that to me I would have freaked out.

Can I just say though. I asked the child her name which she told me. And I did introduce her to a couple of the girls (including mine) and they did end up playing together nicely. She was a lovely child but I just felt so sorry for her.

And the woman who dropped her 2 and this little girl off could have said to me she was leaving so I could have a contact number to reach her.

What I annoyed at is she brought this extra child along. Said she (mother) would be staying for the party anyway.

Then when my back had turned had left

Sounds like you handled it well :) Perhaps unfortunately the answer is not to invite said woman's DD again. :(

My friend had a situation where she invited A to a party, on the day A turned up with someone who wasn't her parent along with her 2 children neither of whom were invited! It was a party where you pay per child so wasnt a type of party you could squeeze a couple more in no worries, my friend hadtonpay extra for 2 children she didn't know or invite!

There could indeed have been a very good reason why she had the child with her, but none that I can think of why she would gate crash a party with the child and leave her there!

omg, I am so outraged I just told DH who is also outraged..... why??? I don't' even really like leaving mine at parties and walk away feeling wrong even if host has said it's okay and I need to feed the baby (plus they have known them mostly since they were babies)....

that said i did end up paying for a sibling at middle girls party last year as the mum just assumed....

OMG! That is outrageous!

Saw something similar yesterday. Took DD to her first proper birthday party. She's 3, the birthday child was turning 3 so as you can imagine the party was full of 2 and just turned 3 year olds. It was held in a v busy (but smallish) soft play place.

Birthday boy's mother came running over to me to say a child aged 2.5 had just been dropped off by his grandmother and had left to go shopping. Back in an hour and a half, no bag (he's still in nappies!!!), no contact number! Birthday boy's mum turned her back and she was gone!!! 2.5 year old - you wouldn't would you?

:-0 Kellamity that's really bad.

OP, YANBU, it was really cheeky of the woman to just drop the kids and go.

That woman did was cheeky, maybe she had a reason, got an emergency call or something although should have still really let you know if she had said she would stay.

I do have a genuine question though, am I not supposed to drop DD2(5) off at parties and just leave? I have always done that, as I did with DD1(16) & DS(15), I think I've probably only ever stayed at childrens parties where adults are invited too as in family events. I'm sure this wasn't the protocol when the older 2 were younger but maybe things have changed, am I supposed to stay?

Also I don't think I've given contact numbers when I've left them at these parties, mainly because it hasn't entered my head and they've all learnt the phone number from very early on. I'm starting to think I'm that mum everyones talking about as being 'irresponsible' or whatever

Ruby you must leave at least a phone number as if your 5 year old is taken ill or is distressed they won't be able to repeat a phone number to anyone. I am amazed the hosts don't insist on a phone number from you.