To really hate my mother now

[WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill]

We have history of such fall outs tbh but this one took the biscuit. Went round to see her after going to the shops- my DD asked if we could visit Nanny. When we go in she starts saying 'I cant believe x (my husband) spent £4 on a chocolate bar for x (my son)' I said yes I know its a rip off but the kids wanted one for a novelty (Wonka bar) and its a one off. She starts moaning continually about it being a waste of money and my DH shouldn't buy my son one just because he nags for it (which I said yes I agree). I just said yes fair enough your opinion and she keeps going on and on. I asked her to stop moaning, we have come to visit her at my daughters request and its not polite to just keep moaning at visitors.
So i then sit in the kitchen with my father and she comes stropping in and yells (all in front of 7 year old DD whos looking very worried by now) 'dont bother getting ME anything for mothers day next week- I dont want anything off you!' and stomps upstairs slamming doors.
WIBU to just not bother visiting again?

what a vile sounding woman. no yanbu

She sounds rather odd!

Well, your DD likes going there, maybe do what i do and let DD go for a couple of hours, i couldnt stand to be in my mums company for that long.

you would bu to stop your kids seeing her though if they want to.

How long has she been having outbursts like this, how old is she, and anything medical or life-wise happened?

Oh FGS, don't rise to it.

Next weekend take your children out for your OWN mothers day and enjoy the time with them, leave your mother to her own devices. She sounds VILE!

If (when) she kicks off about it, remind her of her words... refuse to allow her to bully you like this. WTF is her problem?

I know that i can get rather emotional about chocolate but she has taken the biscuit and made a rocky road slab out of the leftovers too, figuratively speaking.

The reason I asked the questions above, is that if she's repeating herself, and has had emotional and personality changes, she could be ill

It does sound odd. Is there more to it?

Do you owe her money or something?

Or maybe she's upset that you view yourselves as 'visitors' rather than family popping in to see her?

Nope shes been like it for years. Always had moody irrational outbursts, spoiled many family holidays by being an old unreasonable sea hag yet blames everyone but herself for being a moo.
Sorry that was maybe harsh but god she can be such hard work.

Have you ever confronted her(rather than agreeing with her!!) over her moaning?? I find this works wonders most of the time!!!
How about dropping your kids off, saying that you have errands to do(not!!) & is it ok to collect them in an hour?? Then your kids don`t miss out on visiting her but you get to avoid her??!!

Shes a loon, do not get her anything for mothers day

Thing is if I do that she will use it against me 'we do all this for the kids blah blah blah' or that 'im a user' etc. I really dont feel I can ever do right in her eyes. If I mention her moaning she turns it round to be me whos in the wrong says im selfish have no respect for her talk to her like dirt etc.

Are you my sister?

I hear you, I'm right there with you. I could have written every single word that you've written. Right down to the 'can't be arsed with mothers day, but also can't be arsed with the fall out'!

I have nothing constructive to add, but I OMG, I'm with you!

She's attention-seeking . IME It's not uncommon from bored old/middle-aged women who think life has passed them by and everyone takes them for granted. Whenever my DM goes off on one it's usually because she's feeling annoyed/upset/stressed about something out of her control and we haven't asked the right questions so 'no-one cares'. FWIW I don't think hating people achieves much and I think avoiding close members of your own family because they are annoying is sad for all kinds of reasons. You did the right thing trying to avert a hissy-fit and staying calm. Treat your old-age teenager assertively and don't let her insult you, but don't abandon her all together.