AIBU to have a strop

[slowestwildebeast]

DP has pictures that he took before I came along of his 'friend' (doesn't see her, she's a sort of amateur porn star/married) posing naked on his car.

I assumed that after he showed them to me last time my reaction would have proved that I didn't want to see them.

Just seen on his FB account that he's saved them, so only he can see them, but AIBU to have a tantrum as they've clearly been uploaded and saved.

I'm probably being ridiculous, I think I was more annoyed about his reaction, basically 'who cares, nobody but me can see them'.

I might go and take some photos!!

Yanbu

I find it odd he has pictures of his friends minge, car or no car.

She's a 'pornstar' so it's not like nobody has seen it all before, it was her suggestion as she liked the car and wanted pics with it, and I think he was testing his new camera.

None of that I'm fussed about as it was before me, but I am annoyed that my opinion and half joking outrage was instantly dismissed and told to get over it.

Arf at testing new camera by taking fanny shots.

yes I think I laughed at that. :)

OK, different people have different tolerance levels for this so: would you tolerate him looking at porn?

I wouldn't be with dp if he did so for me it would be a huge deal for him to be looking at other women naked (admiring clothed bodies is different to me, less about sex and more about aesthetics). If he had photos of a naked female stranger, would you have the same reaction?

Probably wouldn't be arsed about naked stranger, but would wonder why he'd uploaded and saved them (as in you're a bit sad/teenage!).

I suppose it's just the fact that I don't really want to think about him taking pictures of naked women/his friend sprawled on the car he still drives and like I've said it's not so much the stupid pictures, just the reaction to me saying I was a bit put out, that pissed me off. And now he's in a really foul mood with me because they were on his FB account, so technically if I hadn't clicked photos signed in as him I'd not have seen them - so I prob am being a pain in the arse.

How the hell did they get into a discussion about her sprawling over his car with her minge out?!

I'd hate this. But then I am an extremely insecure person....

I think she just asked if he'd do some photos of her with the car, what bloke is going to say no to having a nude woman on his car? I can't imagine asking someone I barely know to snap pictures of me with my muff out but then again I'm not a porn star.

What happened to getting a nice sensible job? like nursing :)

Dp (I asked) wants to know what kind of car it is.

If the situation was reversed - I had pics of a naked male acquaintance on my computer - he says he'd be stunned and horrified. But that's what's "normal" for us and fits with our moral standpoint iyswim.

You shouldn't have snooped on his Facebook, but you should also be able to trust him to respect boundaries like this and you'd already expressed your displeasure. He should either respect that or discuss it to reach a compromise - hiding the photos is not a compromise!

I didn't really snoop, he knew I was on there, I didn't think there'd be anything in the photos section to warrant not looking/being nebby - I assumed they'd just be all the ones he has that I can see - I wouldn't read emails etc, and I didn't even look at them, I just saw the albums and made a sarky comment about why they were on there.
I can't tell you the car as it's a weird one and would out me in real life - I don't want people knowing that my DP has pornstar friends, they'll all be round! :)

What so it's something a bit rare then? That answers the question

Is he still sulking?

he's stopped now, it did go on a while though, he brought me some food and said he'd delete the pictures.

"I had pics of a naked male acquaintance on my computer - he says he'd be stunned and horrified" - I think most men would, I can't imagine any of the people I've dated being ok with me having my bare arsed friend sprawled over my car. Luckily I don't have a car, so it would just be them. I wouldn't find a naked man on a car of much interest :)

It was more of an exercise in role reversal. Dp is completely wonderful, but sometimes needs a little nudge in the empathy department to help him agree with me on everything smooth the path of rational discussion iyswim :)

I'd be more concerned about how pathetic he was to take them, save them.

I just can't imagine finding someone who would do that, attractive.

Laurie she wanted them taken for her website, I'm not concerned with why they were taken. I just don't want to see them.