to be frightened of hospital staff knowing that I have been self harming?

[ChocolateDaffodil]

I've self harmed for years, but haven't sought medical help for the injuries since around 1998. When I was in hospital giving birth I kept a cardigan on throughout. Even with my 'history' of self harm, nobody questioned my explanation of 'just being cold' on the ward.

Now, though, I'm about to go into hospital and I know that the medical staff will inevitably see my (fresh ) injuries whilst I'm under anaesthetic.

I know all too well how A&E departments treat women who self harm (usually very badly, as another recent thread demonstrates), but what about surgical wards? And will the fact that I'm a mum make a difference?

I would think and hope that they wouldn't treat you any differently. I did see that thread but that was just one member of staff.
They may check that you are receiving help but I really don't think they will be funny with you.
I don't have any experience though but have spent a bit of time in hospital with my mum and ds and the staff have always been lovely.
Sorry if that's no help to your situation.

They aren't paid to judge you or have opinions, just to give you the best treatment available.

I can't answer you but didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

I have little experience of this except that my daughter did it, once, when she was very unhappy at school. She is only 13 but has stuck up for and supported another girl already.

Could this be the time when you could initiate some professional support and help to help you deal with what has become habitual but will have started as a cry for help which possibly was never heard and which may still need to be unpicked and you need to be supported through that process.

Our daughter was referred to a specialist paediatric counsellor and she was given a lot of techniques to help her when she was becoming very stressed.

I am sure the hospital will be sympathetic and understand that this is a problem that you need support to deal with and has its basis in problems that must have been very significant for you.

Good luck

I have had 'help' - years and years of MH treatment. It's just that it hasn't helped. Some people spend years going through smoking cessation services or wieght loss programmes and find them equally unhelpful.

I don't work in a hospital any more but I've no doubt every single one of my ex-collegues ( and me ) would think 'poor thing' and hope you can recover soon.

If you've had years and years of treatment there'd surely be something in your medical records for them to see, no?

Yes, but all the treatment I have had has been private. I've deliberately wanted to keep it off my records to avoid problems with Occupational Health etc and work. And I come from a faith group in which women often stick to long sleeves.

Hi, i work in a hospital, and have nursed many folk who self harm.

Apart from dressing their wounds..if they need to be dressed, i and my team, treat the person for whatever it is that has brought them into hospital..

Thats it, nothing else.

Truly, please dont think that anything bad will happen if some one sees your injuries, becuase unless you ask for specific help to this, no one will do anything awful behind your back.

There is a story behind every single person, you would be surprised at the stuff we see...and continue with the job n hand without comment.

Hugs to you and all the best xx

Just to add, we have covered up peoples fresh injuries too, to avoid embarrasing them as we dont know whoever visits them knows about it.

Privacy & dignity are so very very important xx

OP I asked my DH (as he is an A&E Nurse), he said they would always ask about your injuries - especially if they are fresh. That does not mean anything bad though. I guess because I suppose that is their job to care for you and make sure you leave the hospital to a safe environment.

I do not know the other thread but I am sure it is not par for the course, most Nurses I know are kind and considerate. It strikes me as a profession you would not go into otherwise (usually).

Do not let the worry of them asking you put you off having the operation, it must clearly be something you need.

Good luck.

Thank you all - and Cheshire, please thank your DH. To ask is legit, I suppose. Whether or not I was prepared to tell the truth would depend upon the manner of the person asking.

mrs Covering them for privacy sounds great. IFAIK I will be in ICU after the surgery so only DH will be allowed to visit (and he is the ONLY person who knows, other than the counsellors, therapists etc) but if I end up in a general ward, I'd welcome that. I've asked family and friends not to visit (precisely because of the self harm issue) but I would worry about other patients asking.

I work on ICU x Patients cannot cover themselves up so we do it for them.

I hope you feel reassured x

Thanks, that is reassuring.

Is it a national or recognised policy, or simply what your unit does? Or to rephrase the question - is it something I would need to request in advance (given that they otherwise wont know) or would they do it without m having to ask?

If other patients ask OP I think you will probably have to just say "I don't want to talk about it". I can understand this bothering you though, from my small amount of experience in hospitals other patients are bizarrely nosey!

The other alternative is you make up some FABULOUS story to retort to the nosey buggers

Don't some wards have single rooms at the ends? Maybe you can ask for one of those and explain why?

I had the pre-assessment clinic today. The nurse didn't say anything.

Phew. One step along.

Surely anyone with fresh wounds would be a cause for concern and (WRT your question about being a Mum) if a 'reasonable' explanation wasn't forthcoming, they'd be duty bound in some way to look into it?

I would imagine that you are not the first person they will have encountered that s-h, and so will deal with it respectfully. When i self-harmed, I had to visit hospital for routine appointment. Nurse I saw asked if I was recieving treatment, and if there was anything she/her team could do to help me, but didn't mention it again after that.

I imagine it will be fine. Hope all is okay x

what happened in the other thread?

I used to self harm around ten years ago as a young teen, and at first I was awfully depressed, then it got into a bit of an addiction.
I've been in hospital many a time and no-one has ever said anything they've asked me one maybe if I used to self harm and I just replied yes, no explanation, it's none of their business.

I've never been bothered by it at all, but now I feel really self conscious about my scars, but that's another story.
Don't give them reason to question you, if you don't want to talk about it don't, you may have to tell them what happened, just don't go into the details.

I think people who see you've self harmed automatically think your a nutcase and sometimes it's hard to ever get rid of that impression/first thought they had. I'm ashamed that happens to me, and am really open when people ask, but people judge me by my scars too often.

Hope everything's fine, op!

Thanks for the new responses.

Glad it went well. Good luck with your OP.