To be disappointed in MN at the moment?

[Memoo]

Over the last few weeks myself and several other posters have started threads about the fact that Refuge are at serious risk of having to close their doors permanently.

Thankfully a few people responded and attempted to keep the threads bumped so that others would notice and come along and offer their support.

But guess what?

Hardly anyone came.

If I'd started a thread about breast feeding, or parent and baby parking spaces, or back yard dog breeders scores would pile in to give their opinions and before you knowing it the posts would be in the hundreds.

So why not on a thread about refuges closing down? This is the lives of women and children. Women and children who desperately need to escape the abusive situation they have found themselves in. Soon they will have nowhere to turn and what then? What fate are they being condemned to?

Another beating?

Another rape?

Death...?

I'm desperately trying to get mnhq to offer some kind of help so we can make ourselves heard. Please, please help me.

Do remember that many people read threads without commenting, there's a lot of lurkers round these parts.

The Q & A sounds good, I often think I should do something to help a local refuge, but not being in a position to donate financially, I'm often unsure how to go about it.

I was helped lots

But not by 'refuge'.... They were too full/busy/far away

Plenty if other agencies who can and will help.

Refuge isn't one I support at all... Sorry, but they were crap!! I would support the ones who went our of their way.... 2 good friends would agree too. Flogging a dead horse I think!

Not sure what else you would expect really. With the other topics that you mentioned disparagingly, everyone has an opinion on them. They may not know enough about your organization to comment or perhaps you did not even ask a question. I am very careful about what charities I donate to because in my experience, 80+% of them pay their directors and head staff very healthy salaries and very little of the donations actually go to the programs they were intended for. I think any organization, charitable or not, which relies upon state funding is always going to be in a fairly precarious position. I remember reading an article about Refuge too where there was something funky going on with admin salaries or the like and women were being turned away ( not because they were overwhelmed).

YABNU It's outrageous and disgusting and makes me incandescent with rage that vulnerable women are paying the price for people's apathy. Apart from donating and constantly posting on fb and twitter, I just don't know what else to do. Im considering a revolution.

I agree with Mimishimi, I read one of the threads (not sure if it was yours), but didn't comment because I had nothing to say! If there was a link to a petition or something I would have signed, but just saying 'oh, that's really bad' didn't seem a valuable contribution. Prams on buses though I know and can comment on.

what help can mnhq offer you?
your posts can try raise awareness,but may not have desired direct action etc
and as passionate as you feel you can only incite people to do. what they want

not sure about the mn should do something emphasis
can't you blog, do links,posts

all local authorities are under dreadful pressure, struggle to do statutory reuireents never mind refuges. that's not likely to ease up. any time soon

I think a lot of people do care, maybe don't use ths forum for posting about. I live in Egypt which has it's own set of problems and the daily political instability and massive depressing poverty I see on a daily basis means that when I do look at mums net I want to be entertained. I do not use this as a news source or to get involved in political debates.
It doesn't mean I don't care because right now my charity dollars are going to a more local cause. I used to work for an a charity that ran shelters and there is a lot that people can do to help with donations to help both women and children in a shelter and for when they eventually do get housed.
But good for you posting, hopefully it will make a difference to some women / children in need.

I don't post on threads like this because I come to MN for pure escapism. I do a very stressful 'caring' job and have lots going on in my own life.
I would rather read amusing threads or post on issues I have direct experience of.
Don't judge people as apathetic,you have no idea what's going on with posters/lurkers.

I caused something of an upset on another forum when a friend was trying to get others interested in something related to disabilities, and I pointed out that few bother with a cause that they don't have personal experience or interest in.
I bet her that I'd get more posts on a thread entitled 'How many different sorts of jam do you have in your fridge?'
I won by miles.
The interesting thing was that she wasn't the one who got upset, it was many of the posters on my jam thread who thought I'd put them in a position of appearing shallow and more interested in jammy preserves than human rights.

So as Maryz said, as humans we often focus on that which affects us directly, and direct our efforts there if we do actively respond to a need. Other causes may spark an interest, get people to ask questions or sign an online petition that doesn't involve getting off our bums. But for most people to maintain engagement often requires a level of personal involvement.
And as others have mentioned, there is also feeling overwhelmed and impotent that leads to compassion fatigue and focusing on what you think you can actually make a difference in.

Just to add, I have read a number of threads on here or posts asking what I/we are doing to help various good causes. These have included campaigning against proposed changes to benefits, kids/adults with sn, etc. The truth is most of us can't do everything. There is a limit. We all have our own stuff as well as reaching out to other causes.

You mean like all those charity bags that come through the door, the phonecalls asking you to donate, the chuggers in the street with their clipboards and shiny faces? There is a limit to how much you can absorb and give, and everyone's limits are different.
I'm also currently also involved in the campaign to eradicate polio world wide, it's something I feel very strongly about. yet others I talk to are less bothered because we have vaccination here and so are protected.

Memoo, I read your post as well, so you are doing something in raising awareness. Sorry I didn't reply, but the problem is, it all sounds so terribly maudlin, every response would be 'oh yes, awful isn't it?'. The other threads like bf v ff etc turn into massive threads because people are arguing their opinion, and they disagree. I sincerely doubt anyone disagrees with your post.

I am actually going to donate, and I was going to post that on your thread. But it sounded a bit self-congratulatory.

I can't afford to donate financially right now, but I will see what I can find in the way of toys and clothing.
Thank you for raising awareness, Memoo.

If it's the thread I'm thinking of, a key word was missing from the title, which is perhaps why it didn't get the attention it deserved.

I agree that it is a vital issue that deserves a campaign!

It's a sad fact that most people are only concerned with "me" matters. AIBU is the worst - although it is fantastic entertainment at times, it doesn't always give attention to the things that "really" matter. BF/FF - who really cares? No child is going to die because its Mum chooses to formula feed.....but these are things that some posters feel passionately about. I don't know why.

I've just given a big donation of clothes and books. I hope it helps.

Have name changed for this, as I'm a regular. Anyway, this is in need of a campaign. Something. I have a petition running, which a few people have signed on the HM Government Petitions site I've become aware since that it's local authorities making the cuts, so perhaps there's a potential course of action there. I'd like to think there's something we can do. The thought of that escape route being removed is terrifying.

. Not about the cause, but about your post.

Lots of people post about important issues and don't receive much of a response. Perhaps MN isn't the best place to start a campaign. Don't blame the posters - it's not their fault that they use MN for other things.

Damn right people should care about breastfeeding and dog breeding too!

Seventy if it's Local Authorities making the cuts, then they are choosing to target this service as part of their cost-cutting, is that right? While still paying countless numbers of people an exorbitant salary to do F* all? Sorry - I mean, advise people to eat 5 portions of fruit a day, (my LA).

It makes my blood boil. It is not just David Cameron to blame.

Honestly, my LA has many "5-a-day" advisors on £35K+ pa.

Yet they choose to cut support to services like Refuge instead.

Madness.

Diablo, that's right. I'm still pressing ahead with the petition, in the hope that, should it be discussed, then there's a chance ringfenced funding could be provided. It's a vain hope, but it might just get something done.

You'd think the protection of people's lives would be that little bit more important, but nope. :(