to think DH shouldn't have left our DC (6 & 2.5) at a party?

[lechatnoir]

DS1 (6) was invited to a birthday party in our local village hall & normally we would drop him off & collect at the end but DS2 (2.5) has also been invited as company for birthday boy's younger brother of the same age. I'm at work & DH has just rung from home & I'm a bit & that he's left them both - there's no way DS1 would have been left at a party age 2.5 plus I feel awful about the extra responsibility of a toddler for the parents who are probably frantic enough trying to look after a hoard of six year olds. DS2 is very easy going, knows & loves all DS1's friends so I'm sure will be having a great time but it doesn't seem right to me. However, DH has now got the hump as I'm moaning at him & telling him to go back. AIBU?

i've just held a party today - i would have definitely been miffed if i'd had a 2.5yr old dumped on me!

No way. He should not have left a 2.5 year old unattended, expecting the part host to look after him. YANBU.

YANBU. Poor host!

OMG I am that he thinks this is OK! Definitely not acceptable imo.

YANBU, He can not expect the other parents to look after your toddler!

Did your DH not discuss this with the host parents before leaving? I think YAB a bit U. DS2 was invited to the party, is happy to be left and his older brother is there - would be different if it was something like swimming but a village hall party is OK. Is he toilet trained?

OK feeling better about giving him an earful. He just doesn't see what the problem is: partly I suspect because it wouldn't bother him but mainly he's just so bloody laid back about things & most of the time that's great but sometimes it errs to far towards lax IMO. Grrrr.

Not toilet trained wellwisher. Honestly, he really is the most chilld little boy (takes after daddy ) & knows the parents so if there is an incident he'd be happy with them but I do just feel it's taking the piss to expect host parents to watch a little one (as however good he may be, a 2.5 year old does require more attention than a 6 year old)

In and of itself it's not necessarily a problem, if for example the host parents have said 'yes, no problem we'll keep an eye on both of them'. But that's not what seems to have happened here. I wouldn't have a problem leaving a 2.5yo in trusted company if everyone agreed, but they didn't agree.

Hmm... definitely less OK if he's not TT but I wouldn't bother sending OH back there now. Make him take all 4 boys out for the afternoon next Saturday to return the favour

Not ok. Quite rude actually (sorry I know it isn't your fault!)
Did he tell the parents he was leaving the 2.5 year old there? Or did he just leave?

Depends if the hosts invited DS2 because they felt it would keep their DS's little brother occupied. I presume if it had just been your DS1 invited then the expectation would have been that your DH left him at the party - I feel it's a little cheeky of them to invite your DS2 as well and then expect your DH to stay to look after him - they are putting someone else out to look after a child that they invited to make their younger child's experience nicer. Based on what I'm assuming is the situation, I'm with your DH on this one, although I think things like whether a parent stays at a party should always be made clear on the invite.

yanbu, I'm sure they have enough to be doing than to be changing your childs nappy (yuck and did he even leave any for them?).

I'd order him back there with an apology.

YANBU, is a bit - but if the host was that bothered, I'm sure she would have said something, even if it was just a tactful 'Ohh... I thought you were staying?....'

Saying that, it was was only a few weeks ago when my youngest DDTriplets (2.7) were invited to their first proper party. Was at a weekend and I was busy with DD1 and 2 so sent DH to take them, armed with presents, changing bag etc. 10 minutes later he returned with no DD's and a face like - he quickly told me that he'd done a great job of sneaking out so that the DD's hadn't noticed.. he was so proud of himself! Had to drop everything and rush to party to apologise to host! Thankfully they thought it was very funny - but could have easily gone wrong with a load of 2YO's!

I think you need to find out what the host family said to DH before he left them. They may have urged him to leave, delighted that their younger child had a playmate and believing that the extra child eased rather than added to their burden. If they were indeed that welcoming,it would explain why DH doesn't see a problem (ie because their isn't one).

KateShmate . That was really taking the piss. Don't expect an invite for the next party they host. He thought it was funny?????

I said the host thought it was funny, not DH - he thought I had wanted him to 'drop and go', as he/we do with our older DD's..
I said that he was 'proud' to have been able to drop all 3 off without having them freak out about being left - obviously his mood changed when I pointed out the mistake. It really wasn't a big deal - host was our friend and found it all funny.

I would be asking DH to get back to the party pdq.