...to think it is disrespectful to tell an immigrant how you dislike immigrants but "people from your country are ok"?

[Intrum]

I have to share an office with a man who doesn't like immigrants as they either scrounge off the state, steal british jobs or live ten people in a tiny flat. I try not to argue with him as I'm trying to stay friendly with people I work with and have to see everyday.

However, I'm an EU-immigrant so get very offended by this, but he doesn't understand why as he thinks people from my country are ok.

Thing is, I'm a Swede. He doesn't like the Polish. I've got the exact same right to be here as a Pole. There isn't much of a difference. I've "stolen" a British job. So how can he think I will not get offended by him going on about immigrants all the effing time?

My PARENTS go on about immigrants.

The usual country is full, coming here for the benefits crap. They're a pair of walking clichés. (Muslims seem to be the group of choice atm. Clearly everyone who is Muslim is out to destroy the west. )

My husband is Kenyan.

When I remind them who I'm married to, they tell me he doesn't count.

They're not racist though. They hate everyone equally, regardless of ethnicity. They're really your equal opportunity haters. They'll hate you regardless of age, colour, disability, gender, gender reassignment, HIV status, marital status, parental status or potential parental status, political opinions, primary language, racial, ethnic or national origins, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, social class...

I think they're very unhappy people.

As most bigots are. It's a misery in them that causes them to seek out a group to hate. To make themselves feel better. It's never anything about the victim that is the cause, only ever something about the bigot. If we were all the same colour, everyone in the world, and we were all the same faith, we wouldn't all be holding hands and singing kumbaya - these people would decide that people with blue eyes were the cause of all the world's ills and they'd hate them. Because they need to hate.

My nan sees no irony AT ALL in talking to people on the bus about all the Poles who have come to steal the jobs, and in her next breadth telling them how well DH and I are getting on in Brussels......She DOES read the Daily Mail.....

It often strikes me that the British assume they have the God Given right to move wherever they want to - to work/live/retire - but perish the thought that a "forriner" might have the same idea......

All those people who think the UK has gone to the dogs, with all the immigrants etc - their first thought is often to emigrate to a different country......

I do the same as you OP - when people go on about immigrants, I point out that I'm also an immigrant, stealing a job from a British person. The response is normally 'but that's ok but you are ...' and then they stop, and I fill in 'white?'

Apparently it's ok for me to be here, because I speak English, am not a scary coloured person with a non-Christian religion and have a job. I do think it's important to remind people that immigration isn't the stereotype you read about in the Daily Mail, it comes in all shapes and forms, and in the majority of cases it's people living their life peacefully and contributing to society.

Well I'm British but half German. I had my genes done for my 40th, turns out my German mother dosed me up with Finn, Ashkenazi Jew (go figure, the IRONY) and shitloads of Greek. My semi racist father - who married a Kraut because....? yes, exactly - why? has contributed romany Gypsy and Irish.
So next time your knobjockey colleague talks about immigrants, you can tell him about me and ask him what the fuck he thinks HE is or where he's from!
He is being racist. Simple. P

What I love, Portofino, is when they go to other countries and talk about the people there and call them 'forriners' You're in their country, you twat. YOU'RE the foreigner!

Honestly, you just have to laugh at their stupidity.

I'm in Denmark. I get this from DHs extended family. I particularly enjoy asking them to explain how exactly I cost the state more than they do. Also Poles are to blame for undercutting the minimum wage - it's never because they don't know that there's a minimum wage, and they dont know about the strong trade unions, and interestingly, it's never the fault of the dodgy danish bosses for emplying them!

Every single person from Lithuania is a criminal. Fact. No evidence required.

Also it must be true that EVERYONE from Iraq, Somalia, Burma and Afghanistan has CHOSEN to be here, nothing to do with circumstances in their own country. And they are ALL muslims, and will therefore want to kill ALL christians, because obviously all muslims think identically, and there is no variation between countries, classes etc, and never mind that most of the Iraqis who have been granted the right to remain are actually Christian.

Having said all that, there is less foreigner bashing in the press since the Labour led coalition won the election in September. Which has been a relief actually.

YANBU to get offended. I'd ask him politely to stop, and if he continues bring it up with HR. You shouldn't have to listen to that at work.

Argh. Stupid autocorrect.

My nan. Not my hrs!

My mum does this. Bloody foreigners yada yada yada. We lived in Africa for fifteen years. I point this out to her regularly "we were imigrants too you know," but that's different, apparently.

But tbh I think the media is to blame on this. And I think that there's also an unspoken rule that talking about imigration is somehow a tabu because doing so makes one a racist. And actually I think that imigration is a valid discussion to be had. Not in terms of people coming over here to "take our jobs/school places," but in terms of the fact that actually, the UK is full to overflowing, and actually, the government is making cuts that affect all people who live here. And actually, I do believe something has to give.

I don't, for instance, believe that anyone should be able to come here from anywhere else and be able to claim benefits. I don't blame anyone who does so - I blame the system that allows it to happen. There is currently not enough money in the pot to allow for those people who already live here who are in need, parents with disabled children etc are losing out, and yet it's possible for others to come here from the EU (any part of the EU) and take advantage of the nhs/welfare state. And why shouldn't they - if there was another country where I felt I would be better provided for perhaps I might consider that as well, so it should certainly not be a blame-the-foreigner game iyswim. But I think that you can have issue with imigration policy without having issue with those who benefit from it, iyswim.

As for jobs - I think we live in a free market and I couldn't give a stuff who comes here to work. If you're the best person for the job then it doesn't matter where you're from.

But I think we should be allowed to talk sensibly about imigration without being branded racist for doing so. Because it's not about individuals, IMO - it's about the policies of the country..

I don't even get the 'but you're ok' bit - as a white person who speaks with an english accent everyone just automatically assumes I am English and therefore will probably agree with their stupid views on 'foreigners'.

Until I point out that I am an immigrant and so are most of my family.

That usually shuts them up a bit, normally they go 'umm well, err....' and change the subject.

I still remember (with a smile on my face :D) when I was talking to some bloke who commented 'oh, I HATE south africans, and the white ones are the WORST' at which point I casually pointed out that I was south african. You should have seen his face! The look of horror! They he followed by stammering 'oh....really...you don't seem south african'.

Really??

Oh, by the way YANBU :)

according to Daily Mail dictionary:

Immigrants: 1, plural, Come in one variety only: fraudulent spongers leaching off MY taxes and becoming millionaires while WE work to pay for them. 2, singular, A person moving to the UK solely to be ?showered? with benefits, receive a free council house and entitlement to ?yuman rites?. If the immigrant does decide to work they will be stealing a job from a hard-working, dedicated and highly-skilled British worker by working for a pittance. The immigrant will then send every penny of their salary (without paying tax, naturally) back to their relations in whatever rubbish little country they came from.

Ex-pat: 1, A fine upstanding citizen who lives in a Brits-only ghetto, drinks in the Red Lion pub, reads British newspapers, won't eat "that foreign muck" and shouts in English as there's no need to learn the local language. Can often be found on websites bemoaning immigrants' failure to integrate into British society without a hint of irony or self-awareness.

2, The person that knows how the ?once-Great-Britain? (© Mail commentators and writers) has gone to the dogs/to hell in a handcart, even though ? as they joyfully state in their post ? they ?have escaped to Spain/Australia/ France/New Zealand? 5 years ago. Such people also bash immigrants without any awareness that they are also immigrants in another country. Littlejohn, writing from Florida, can also be described as an ex-pat (amongst other things).

Ex-pats are remarkably concerned with how British taxpayers money is spent, considering that they no longer pay British tax, or use any services provided by the British Government.

I get this all the time too. I'm from the US but I'm an "ok" immigrant basically because I'm white and can speak english. When I hear this I get on my soap box and say that all legal immigrants are the same and should be treated the same.

Hazle - you're going on my fave mners list I bloody love that. I'm nicking it!

thanks Hecate, unfortunately I didn't make it up though - more here

So, OP are you going to report him to the big boss. Why does this guy think this is OK - he's being paid to do a job not chat about shit all day.

Bloody hell, I never thought about it but of course - I'm an immigrant! Why am I shocked? I'm not, I'm not

There are people from many different countries in Sweden and I'm too ignorant to have any idea what countries those are, but I have to admit that I was surprised. I thought the country would be full of blonde haired, blue eyed skinny Swedes.

So not EVERY immigrant is targeting the UK then? It costs a fortune to live here, but you also make a fair bit more money. I can definitely see how you could support a family in a poorer country by working here, but I don't know how common that is, if it is at all.

Embarrassingly I've been here for nearly a year and still haven't learnt the language, but I always apologise before saying I only speak English. The result? Swedish people instantly switch to almost perfect English when they talk to me and don't seem to bat an eyelid.

I'm jealous. If I were in the UK, I'd love to think I could seamlessly switch to Urdu or something but I never knew a single person who was fluent in any other language :(

YANBU - I posted about this recently. Polish people are the current scapegoats imo. The man is obviously a racist arsehole.

'It's a misery in them that causes them to seek out a group to hate.'

So true.

oops I'm so sorry, OP, I completely ignored your AIBU. I'm gonna have to NC to 'mememememe'

I do see that the guy you were talking about has a prejudiced view based on what he thinks an immigrant is. He's thinking of skin colour, language, dress, cultural differences and integration success. I suppose if these 'issues' are addressed, you're not really an immigrant in his eyes.

Anyone who natters away about controversial subjects should know by now that they are likely to put their foot in it at some point.

YANBU. It's most illogical.

Was having exactly the same conversation yesterday with my sister about the attitude to her Swedish husband. Are you secretly my BiL, Intrum?

I'm a Brit abroad, and I've had many people say to me that they can't believe what I've had to go through during the immigration process (because I am British, I think they believe I have a divine right to skip the queue), and have had it suggested to me that if I had darker skin and turned up on a boat (as an illegal I imagine) it woudl be easier for me to get in. My usual reply is that they ought to check out exactly how long it takes for someone to be granted residency as a refugee. The DM attitude it seems is far more widespread than I thought.

I get this too. I am white/blonde/speak English etc., but am foreign to the country I reside in and have a marked accent.

When I got pregnant a local friend asked me where I was going to give birth. I said "oh well X Hospital is just 5 min up the road, i'll probably go there"

she crinkled her nose and said "oh no you can't go there, it's all immigrants that go there, it'll be horrible, all noisy and dirty"

then she remembered i was an immigrant
lol

happens a lot. i just take the piss out those sorts of people. they ask me who I'm voting for and i remind them i'm just their local filthy immigrant so i can't vote, etc.

it's just ignorance. and entitlement i think. locals forget that they also come from somewhere, and that they're no better than anyone else. taking the piss is usually enough to jar them into thinking a bit more before they speak.

I have now brought this to the attention of someone senior but have asked them not to act on it at the moment. I don't want to stir anything up really. Will try to tell him nicely that it really offends me next time he mentions anything.

I am a Brit in Canada and me and my cousin were on a bus talking to a couple of other Brits who told us they came to Canada "because the UK is full of immigrants". My cousin did point out that we are now immigrants but I think it went over their heads.

My (Canadian) MIL also used to tell me how unfair it was that I had such a hard time getting into the country but that brown people from other places got in easily. These would be the people fleeing torture, rape and murder, you understand.