To think that when you are an OAP being in hospital can feel much better than being at home?

[Groovee]

I had a sedated medical procedure yesterday and because I was very groggy afterwards, was sent to recovery before being returned to the ward for some rest time before going home.

The bed opposite me had a woman who must have been in her 80's. The physio's turned up to get her walking as she's been refusing to get out of bed. They didn't touch her yet she was screaming loudly that they were hurting her. The screaming went on for the whole time they were there.

Shortly after this a woman arrived to see her as the registrar was worried about the woman. She told the woman she liked the ward and the staff were lovely. That she lived with her cousin nearby and her cousin looked after her. She denied she wasn't co-operating with staff.

It caused me and dh to think at that age maybe being in hospital getting, cared for, getting 3 meals a day and umpteen cuppa's with people coming to see you, is probably more preferable to being at home having to do things for yourself and worrying about money and paying the bills etc.

So in later life, could being in hospital be preferable to being at home?

Surely you're not being serious?

my elderly aunty has made me promise I will bring her home should she ever land up in hospital. Sadly, not all geriatric wards are equal, and many are understaffed. There are too many documented cases of neglect on the wards.

Also, there is the issue of bed blocking. Caring for the elderly is not the same as nursing the sick, so really ladies like this need to be in nursing homes, not hospitals.

What about lack of privacy and choice, op? Having to eat food you dont like every day or not getting enough? What about not being able to ever get a decent night's sleep because of the noise, or missing having all your personal things around you?

You really haven't thought this through properly at all

YABU - Can I safely assume none of your elderly relatives have ever had to go into hospital? I imagine, (from the ones I know,)that OAP's who would rather be in hospital than in their own home, surrounded by familiar things and memories, are few and far between!

Alot depends on the hospital, the indevidual and their currant health
I sometimes work in hospitals and nursing or residential homes.
I think some of the patients/residents are better off.They don't have to worry about being warm enough, lonely, enough to eat or drink. If they are at home they might get a carer a couple of times a day. Surprising how many elderly people don't have family visiting them, at home or in hospital. But alot does depend on if someone takes the time to make sure they can eat or if they need help. If they can reach and hold their drink.

Some people want to be home and resent having the constant noise, the stranger in the next bed. The time passes so slowly too.
They complain about the staff trying to disturb/hurt/kill them (yes I've had this said to me) even when they are trying to help them.And because they don't get their pension paid to them after X number of weeks, the 'system' is trying to rob them too (in their words)

So, there's no cut and dried. So many different factors.
And I have upmost respect for people who care for an elderly family member in their own home or the family members home.

I work in a nursing home. Some of the people we have some to us after long term hospital stays have clearly been completely neglected - they stink, have no clothes and are often malnourished and suffering from pressure sores.

Hospital can be an awful place to be for an elderly person.. Especially if they don't have family or anyone to speak up for them.

Erm no. I would second Sephora. Are you being serious? I have worked on a care of elderly ward and the patient experience is nowhere near the lovely cushy number you portray. Most of the patients I came into contact with were ill, confused and upset. Many of them could not access the toilet un aided but there were not enough staff to take them on time so many wre given continence pads as standard. There are 3 meals a day but many patients can't eat them as they cannot reach / chew etc and often meals were removed untouched. Many patients did not get enough sleep because of constant disturbances. I would say due to staffing levels the "care" you describe is very very basic. Most patients want to go home as soon as possible. Many don't have visitors yet have to watch most of the other patients with their families at visiting time. Doesn't sound too appealing hey?

With the emphasis these days on getting people out of hospital as quickly as possible (quite right too) there is a risk that although older people may be medically fit for discharge there isn't the social support available in the community to help them feel safe and secure at home. People are generally used to staying in hospital until 100% better- it's quite a cultural change to expect people to be discharged home and receive treatment there instead.

I'm in that position with my mother.
She went into hospital a month ago as she was totally dehydrated and incontinent.
She'd turned down all care, and though she was capable of putting a ready meal in the oven. she didn't. She weighs 6 stone 4
I only get to see her once a week (distance) but she's determined to go home.
She's gradually going into dementia, and refuses food in the hospital as she doesn't like it. She can only walk on a zimmer, and though they've organises 3 times a day care, at the moment she needs 24 hour care, and although the staff are wonderful, there's only so long before someone decides she'll have to go into a residential home.
The problem is that no matter what we tell her, she's not taking it in. She thinks she'll go home and everything will be fine.

I think you are completely wrong. Unless someone is being abused at home (which sadly does happen with elderly people), then home is home, and hospital is not better!

I saw three of my grandparents get very sick towards the end and sometimes they were in a lot of pain. My gran was the worst as she had brain cancer and I think most medics will tell you that is a painful and terrifying way to go. But she was at home almost to the end and in a hospice for the last few days when we couldn't give her the right treatment at home any more, and it was so much better. Not for us, necessarily, but for her. It meant such a huge amount to her to be in her own place, and appreciating little things like cups of tea in her own cups or her own blankets on her bed. Don't underestimate how much little things like that matter to you when you are sick. If you are dying, they matter hugely I think.

Hospitals can be brilliant and of course if you are acutely (as opposed to chronically) ill you may need to be in one, but they are not kitted out for long-term care or, I think, for care of the elderly.

yabu
my MIL was in hospital. she was very unhappy and tbh seemed to get worse.
once home she really perked up and is much happier.
she has carers come in and she is happy.
most OAP see hospital as the place they go to die

Umpteen cups of tea ? Oh yeah all the times I have been in hospital they have a special person just to make you tea

Hospitals are dreadful dreadful places for elderly people.

or tea in a cup that they can't use.

My dear, dear H (only 73) was in hospital three times 2 years ago. He kept being discharged because they said they didn't know what was wrong with him. I insisted on being there all day for him because their response to his buzzer brought nothing. The same went for the other patients there. I ensured that he had a bottle there for when he needed to wee. He was taking 'water' tablets and, when these work, the need for a wee is immediate. There is not enough time for someone to come and help him to the toilet.

One day I was later than usual only to find that they had inserted a catheter joined up to a bag to receive the drained wee. He didn't like it and I feel so guilty for not getting them to remove it. When they did, his wee was red with blood. Taking it out had torn something. After a while it was normal wee and back into the cardboard bottles that I insisted he had. No wonder we hear that older people are 'incontinent'. They are not incontinent. They just do not have the help when they need to go.

My DH chose to wait until he came home after the third time before he died 2 days later - at home. I'm just glad that I was with him at the time.

As for 'bed blocking'. That is an insulting description. If they are in hospital and need care, where else should they go? Just because others are waiting to have a bed does not mean that other ill people should go home too early and have to be readmitted a few days later.

Quite!

And 3 meals a day that are useless because they can't feed themselves and no staff to help.

And bills still need paying regardless of wether you are in hospital or not!

rule, that is awful.

I'm so sorry you and he had that experience and glad you got him home for the last bit. I bet it mattered so much to him too.

FWIW - about cups of tea/food - if someone has dementia, they will often only remember things that are familiar. You can get to a stage where you simply don't recognize something as food and drink because it's on an unfamiliar plate or in a strange mug. It must be incredibly hard for nurses as it is heartbreaking to see someone who needs a drink seemingly unaware that what is in front of them is for them to drink. But if your biggest problem is that you need someone to help you sip a drink slowly, you should be home, not in hospital.

I just wish someone clever would work out how to fund better home care.

I think it depends on the hospital and the person.

My elderly mother has just come out of hospital and had great care. But she is very glad to be home as she hated the lack of privacy and comfort of being amongst her own stuff.

When my gran on the otherhand last went into hospital (she is no longer alive) she enjoyed it. She wasn't that ill and she enjoyed the drama, change and the attention of it all. But she also liked others taking responsibility for all of her life and wasn't at all independent minded.

So it really depends in my personal experience

I understand what you mean. My mum does enjoy going into hospital for short stays and definitely enjoys being looked after. She has always had good quality of care.

I'm in two minds on this, and I guess it must be down to the choice of the elderly person.

Recently my Grandma, in her 80's and suffering from dementia, badly broke her upper arm in the evening and went to hospital. She was x-rayed and put in a sling and discharged into the care of my 90-yr-old disabled Grandad in the early hours of the morning - this led to a frantic call to my Mum who lives 40 miles away at 6am because Grandma needed the loo, she couldn't get herself out of bed, they had no mobility equipment and my Grandad couldn't support her to get her on her feet and he was exhausted having been up all night.

So in some cases an elderly person would be better off care-wise being admitted if there is not sufficient care in place at home - that's just my experience! But of course if an elderly person is able to live in their own home and wish to while they recover then they should!

I have to add that the care that my mum is getting in her particular hospital is amazing.
Lovely nurses and auxilliaries (sp), but she still doesn't seem to understand that unless she eats and moves a bit more, they won't let her go home.
My sis and I have gone blue in the face telling her this, we've spent a fortune on food that we know she likes, that she just won't eat.
But all she wants is to go home to her armchair and her soaps.
It's soooo hard.