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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that swim teacher is being unfair?

41 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 10:22

Ds2 had his 4th lesson this week. He's 4y2m so still at preschool 3 days a week. He also has some extra needs. On his first lesson he was last for everything and kept moving away from wall and wanting a go sooner. Also he cried as teacher couldn't understand him (some of his speech clarity). He was also sent out to wipe a bogey. Did speak to teacher to let her know he's under speech and language and also that he's 4 and not yet at school (unlike the other children). He's very keen to swim and we decided to strike when iron is hot. Second lesson much happier, he went first, middle, last but enjoyed it. Third lesson (we weren't aware till afternoon), he was poorly. He got out of pool once and wasn't patient at waiting. He was last every time. This week he waited by wall, didn't try and push in and didn't climb out. He was last, despite being in right place and ready. At the end he didn't get a play either, as he was waiting for her to let him. Dh asked why and her reason was because he climbed out last week he's last. Basically punishing him. :( I'm (probably unreasonably) crying at injustice. That a grown up holds a grudge against a 4 year old.

OP posts:

Frontpaw · 10/03/2012 14:17

If you don't like the teacher, change classes. Some are very good at relating to the children and some aren't. I would take him swimming to get his confidence up, or try for 1-2-1 lessons to get him going before puting him into a class.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 14:29

Can I re-iterate. He only got out of pool once in his 3rd lesson. Other than that he has found waiting his turn hard and tried to have a go when teacher not chosen him. For a 4 year old in the lowest class of swimming he's done great, and today he waited by wall every single time. He don't hit, scream, run etc. he doesn't snatch floats from other children or anything like that. There are more disruptive children there. We spoke to him prior to lesson explaining to wait by wall and watch other children. So he was very very good today. She was "punishing" him for getting out of the pool once last week. I think that is harsh. Now if she was going to punish him, she should have done so at the time, not a whole week later.

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Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 14:30

And today was his 4th lesson ever

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Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 14:30

Doesn't not don't

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Frontpaw · 10/03/2012 14:35

She sounds like a moo. I'd change teacher if I thought she was being unfair - if the child is getting upset, then the lessons will become stressful for the child and he will refuse to go or get into the water (well if he is as stubborn as DS). You can't reason with a small child, especially of he is being punished for something that happened a week ago (which is not the way with small kids anyway). She obviously doesn't have kids.

CailinDana · 10/03/2012 14:45

I don't disagree that the teacher isn't very capable Mama. The class doesn't seem suitable for him at all.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 15:10

Well I am glad he's now going to 1-1 with a different teacher. We said because he waited his turn so nicely and listened well he's allowed some special lessons. Eventually I'll want him to rejoin groups, but when he's more able. Ds1 was fine in groups, but different child and needs and also he was in year r. Thanks everyone. ( ignores toughening up I'm too
Much of a softie)

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GrownUpNinjaWarrior · 10/03/2012 15:17

When DS was really struggling, we paid for some one to one lessons to boost his confidence and understanding of what was being asked of him. It really helped.

fluffywhitekittens · 10/03/2012 15:20

Sarcalogos are you a swimming teacher?
qualifications and cpd

Hopandaskip · 10/03/2012 15:41

Might it be cheaper to pay for a teen to come to the pool and hold the baby for you while you swim with your son?

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 15:48

grownupninja- that's reassuring to read

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Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 10/03/2012 15:49

^hop* I'm crap at swimming ok for fun but I can only do breast and back (poorly)

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Frontpaw · 12/03/2012 11:34

DS loves swimming and being in the water but was a bit war'y of the deep end (the pool we'd been learning in had a shallow deep end IYKNIM). I took him for a summer week long class in another pool with a 'grown up' deep end when he was about 5 as we were going on holiday to somewhere with a small pool.

The teacher looked bored, pissed off and had no patience. He wouldnt listen to DS when he said that he didnt like the deep end and was quite snippy with him. Whenever DS hesitated or said that he couldnt do something, the instructor dumped him on the poolside until he agreed to do whatever. He actually wanted him to jump into the deep end even though he said that he

was scared (this is the one thing that he was scared of). Now I know that some kids have daredevil tendencies, but DS is not one of these. He was really scared, so the teacher suggested throwing him in.

I dont like molly-coddling kids, so tried to back up the teacher 'come on, you can do it, its safe, the teacher wouldnt ask you if it wasnt, he's right there.....' but DS, being DS, dug his heels in and refused to get back in the water. The line was crossed (which doesnt happen very often with DS) and he point blank refused to go into the bloody pool.

On holiday, it was a bloody nightmare as he would only sit on a lilo and refused to swim at all. It took a while for him to get his confidence back. Now he is fine and leaps into the deep end to see how long he can walk on the bottom of the pool for.

I suppose, what I am trying to say it, sometimes you just need to throw in the towel but you need to know when and where!

Sarcalogos · 12/03/2012 11:51

Fluffywhitekittens. Yes, I have a qualification but I don't teach at present. I don't mean to suggest that there are not good qualifications and not opportunities for CPD. Just that quality and expertise are so variable that if your instincts are telling you that that particular teacher/swim school is not good then you should change.

Excellent swimming teaching is out there but you need to hunt for pretty hard for it in some areas.

fluffywhitekittens · 12/03/2012 15:46

Fair enough Sarcalogos, it sounded a bit like your were disparaging the whole profession but I'll let you off this time

PiousPrat · 12/03/2012 16:13

I was about to jump in and splutter all self righteously, but see that Sarcalogos has already clarified what she meant, so I'll put the biscuits back where they belong. In my belly ;)

My Dad was a swimming instructor for many years and most of my summer holidays as a kid seemed to be spent being dragged to various pools for him to renew some qualification or other. Apparently I was a good size for 'rescuing' and useful for demonstrating how to deal with wilful brats :)

There can be a massive variation in quality of teaching, so a good place to start is to ask what qualifications the teacher has and how often they renew them. A decent teacher should be perfectly happy to tell you and show you the certificates if needs be. Obviously you don't get qualifications in being a decent human being, but from what I know of teachers over the years, there was a link between how often they updated and how many 'extra' qualifications they had, and how patient and willing to accommodate differences they were.

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