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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Adknowledgement of presents from teacher

54 replies

Kennyp · 09/03/2012 13:50

This is still getting kn my nerves and its from christmas!!! Dd gave all her teachers christmas presents.

Acknowledgement from all teachers apart from one. Dd said he never mentioned the present. I think rude git (teacher, not dd). This year he will not get anything at all (bet he is sobbing as i type) Everyone kisses this teachers arse, he is the deputy head teacher, but i think he is very rude.

Should i let it go???!?!?!! Am so tempted to make noises about said present (a very nice present. John lewis in the sale but still nice). Havent yet made any noises and wont but am ranting. I still think its rude. Pffffffffffffffffffffff.

OP posts:
LauraShigihara · 09/03/2012 14:24

I always thought that the presents were a thank you to the teacher for all their hard work over the term.

So you are expecting a Thank You for a Thank You.

YABU

Cherriesarelovely · 09/03/2012 14:26

But no acknowledgement at all is surely rude? Blimey, maybe I am being unrealistic in thinking that my nephews ought to be capable of saying "thank you" when they are actually handed a present at Christmas or on their birthdays.....as for a written note, email or text thanks never, ever, not once and they are now 14 and 16.

Sandalwood · 09/03/2012 14:29

"Thankyou for the thankyou present"
"Thankyou for the thankyou for the thankyou present"

When would it stop?

Cherriesarelovely · 09/03/2012 14:31

No, it's just a note saying "thank you for the present". Clearly no one would then write a note saying "thank you for the thank you note"!!!!!

Rhubarbgarden · 09/03/2012 14:32

Blimey, people buy expensive John Lewis presents for teachers? I have a lot to learn [parent of pre-schooler] Shock

Original poster
Kennyp · 09/03/2012 14:36

Thank you for your comments regarding the thank you letter (well, no show thank you letter.). ("MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

The presents were £10 down to £3 so i bought plenty. This years presents are again John lewis but they were £12 down to £2. One less to wrap though Wink

OP posts:
LauraShigihara · 09/03/2012 14:37

But if the present itself is a thank you ('Thank you very much Teach for all that you have done for me this term') why would the teacher need to say anything but a casual 'Oh, that's kind!' when given the gift?

Why would they need to send a thank you letter back to the parents? I am genuinely puzzled.

Sarcalogos · 09/03/2012 14:40

Yabu get a grip. He didn't say thank you for his thank you present. It might have been nice if he had but he didn't ... And?

Also on behalf of the rest of my profession, please god stop buying bloody scented candles or regifting the ones you get from your elderly relatives

They stink, the thank you not you are getting is through gritted teeth. ungrateful yes

TimothyClaypoleLover · 09/03/2012 14:48

LOL Sarcalogos, maybe the teacher in OP's situation purposely didn't say thank you because he got a scented candle!!

Sarcalogos · 09/03/2012 15:03

I really wouldn't be surprised Tim. I make my DH (also a teacher) burn his in his classroom as I can't bare them In the house I regift my ones to elderly relatives/charity tombolas

LadyMontdore · 09/03/2012 15:16

I'm a teacher and I'm scrupulous about sending 'thank yous' and making my dcs do them too. BUT it has never occured to me to write thank you notes for school end of term presents - I assumed they were thank yous in themselves. Also they aren't always labelled. I think if I were to hand out thank yous in class it could make the non-present giving children feel a little akward which would be awful. And the presents are at the end of term so lots of time has passed till I see the children again. I give a verbal thank you on being given the present and if it is something really special (and by that I mean handmade!) I would remember to say 'thank you for the delicious biscuits' to the relevant child next time I saw them.

stealthsquiggle · 09/03/2012 16:42

LadyMontdore - my DC get Thank you letters in the post from their teachers in the holidays Shock. Clearly the DC love to get them, but I feel awful that the teachers are paying for stamps to thank us for thanking them...

BlueFergie · 09/03/2012 16:59

Did he not thank DD when she gave it to him?

Hulababy · 09/03/2012 17:01

Did he not say thank you when the gift was handed over? Some of our teachers open their gifts in front of the children and thank them then.

As a veteran of MN I always say thank you at the time and always send a thank you letter home too. I know too much of what some parents would think if I only thanked the child verbally at the time of receiving it!

Hulababy · 09/03/2012 17:05

Mind you, I have to add - I always give each child a gift for Christmas and end of year. Out of 30, I normally get 0 written thank yous, about 20 children who say thank you and 10-15 adult thank yous (my end of year gift includes a CD of all the photos I have taken of the children over the year - which is literally 100s, so as much for parents as children).

LeeCoakley · 09/03/2012 17:05

Incase it's not clear :

IT'S MARCH!!!!!!

IT'S NEARLY 3 MONTHS SINCE YOU GAVE THE PRESENT!!!

MOOOOOOOOVE ON!!!!

OriginalJamie · 09/03/2012 17:08

I expect the teacher said thankyou when given the gift

Maryz · 09/03/2012 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OriginalJamie · 09/03/2012 17:10

I wouldn't expect a written thankyou. I know how busy teachers are.

cocobongo · 09/03/2012 17:11

get over yourself, you wat him to spend time writig a letter for some £3 piece of crap he never asked for or wanted and you are getting upset about it? i'm sure he will survive missing out on this year's £2 present extraveganza, hard to believe, i'm sure.

Maryz · 09/03/2012 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumsyblouse · 09/03/2012 17:14

A verbal thank you is more than enough (if they were away/in a different class, tough!) I think it's kind the teachers usually send christmas cards. YABsoU.

RoaryMouth · 09/03/2012 17:18

I thank children personally when a gift is given. I thought about notes but I am always conscious of the wee ones who don't bring a gift and are looking on. I wouldn't want to make them feel left out as gifts are not necessary (but lovely!).

MissM · 09/03/2012 17:26

You do know that many teachers can work 12 hours a day sometimes without having time to even eat their lunch? They then go to meetings and often bring the kids' books home to mark, meaning they might finish work around 8 or 9pm? I'm sure the deputy head said thank you when your child handed over the present - give the guy a break (and yourself - it's March!)

Dustinthewind · 09/03/2012 17:27

I say thank you at the time to the child, and to the parent at pick up time.
If you expect a thank you note, I'd really not rather have the gift. This is a professional relationship, not family, I value the gift as a thoughtful recognition of the extra effort I put into the job.
Which is why I donate some of the gifts I really can't use to other people or charity in a different town rather than saying 'I don't want this. please take it home'
Or, 'Oi You. Where's my present then?' Or being cold to parents that didn't choose to give me anything.
OP, your gift is too conditional.