WIBU - Friends affair.

[Lickitysplit]

Hi, first time posting. looking for a bit of advice.
A very good friend of mine is having an affair with a married man who has three young children. She doesn't seem to care that about the fact that he is cheating on his family, and I think she is being used by him. not sure if I shoud say something about it or just mind my own business. I think both parties are in the wrong in this type of situation.

I wouldnt be able to sit there and say nothing. If a friend of mine were doing this, I would tell her my feelings on it. I would still be her friend, but I would make it clear that I would not be condoning her behaviour, or in anyway helping her with alibis, nor would I have any sympathy when the shit hits the fan, which it will, because it always does.

You saying something is unlikely to achieve anything. You can tell her the way you feel about it and you don't want to hear her talk about it because you find what she is doing so horrible, but beyond that, it's not your business. If she is being used by him, she will learn her lesson soon enough.

A couple of friends of mine have had affairs with married men. In both cases I was quite open with my feelings about this. We've stayed friends, both friends eventually saw sense and ended the relationships.
If you're good friends you should be able to share your point of view - though it probably won't make any difference to your friend.

Surely if she's a very good friend you can make your feeling known?

My friend had an affair with a married man with children. She wasn't married but I was and I had dc.

I never saw things from her point of view, despite her being one of my best friends since primary school.

I told her I thought he was a twat and that he would cheat on her eventually.

She ended up marrying him and we are still friends but not close friends. He knows that I know too much and that I was against him.

I wouldn't be able to help but say something.

thanks for advice. all makes sense.

Ask how she would feel if she were the wife, because believe me that's the shittest feeling in the world. I could never be the cause of so much pain to another mum/family.
So many affairs get found out, us wives are not blind/stupid/desperate to not believe out DH capable. I knew months before he admitted it, years later he still denies how long it went on even though she tells the world!

tbh I think that if someone is prepared to openly admit that they're having an affair with a married man/woman, then they do so in the knowledge that people are going to have, and voice opinions on the matter. Because regardless of one's own views of an affair with a married person, everyone knows that it is a subject which provokes strong opinion.

So yes, I would say something.

I used to work with a woman whose partner left her for another woman. He'd been seeing her for about two years before she found out. She almost had a breakdown and was off work for about six months. And then she came back, and ... took up with a married man! everyone in the office made their views very much known.