...to think people who chew with their mouths open should face a wall when eating?

[Boomerwang]

Especially if it's because they've got a cold - the accompanying CHOFF CHOFF noises are reminiscent of a beaver trying to chew bubble gum without letting it stick to it's teeth!

Sucklers and slurpers should also face the wall when eating, so that the genteel amongst us can nibble our finely shredded salads (no dressings, obviously) without gagging intermittently at the sight of mushy croutons being sprayed across the table.

And if you're going to give your darling children a jam doughnut at least cut it into small pieces and make them eat it with a fork or a cocktail stick or something and suck the jam out first or else... face the bloody wall!!

My Dad's the worst. When he eats a sandwich whilst watching tv he takes a bite, sniffs, wrinkles his nose, grunts, choffs, grunts again and then haaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH-CHOMP! all over again -.-

I went to a playdate the other day that was very strange. The host set a table with pizza with very ornate plates and silk napkins but no cutlery but didn't even slice up the pizza so there were these huge wedges

Her children leaned across and shoved myself and my daughter out of the way and grabbed the food like it was their first meal in years, piled up their plates but the worst was when they started to chomp and chew with their mouths wide open with bits of food flying all over the place. DD turned to me and said "Mummy I want to go home" It was worse than feeding time at the pig pen, it was disgusting.

I left feeling really sorry that their Mother had not given them any advice whatsoever or how to eat properly and that for their whole lives people would feel sick sitting next to them.

Oh sheep, I HATE noisy mouth breathers! And I hate any kind of mouthy, spitty, licky, swallowy, snotty sound in general.

I hate (in no particular order)

? Open mouth chewing
? Sniffing
? Hot drink slurping
? People who hunch over their food when eating
? Burping
? Smacking sound when licking fingers

I will put my knife and fork down and stare pointedly.

My mum made us eat in front of a big mirror on the wall, that sorted us all out! I think I might get it from her.

Jeepers creepers, I've turned into my mother.

But the absolute worst thing is people snorting catarrh!

What Roundtable et al have said. But also:

People who load up their fork with the next mouthful & hover it outside their mouth waiting to shovel eat it, whilst still chewing the previous mouthful.

And those who put the next forkful in whilst still chewing should be shot.

WAIT UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH.

YANBU!

The vilest thing for me is talking to someone who has those horrid white makkers at the edge of the mouth.
Makes me want to puke right there (have to look away) [vom emoticon]

I have a male relative whose eating noises sound distinctly like sloppy sex noises. I cannot be in the same room as him when he eats, it's seven shades of wrong.

Yes, ifancy and throwin. Yuk, yuk, yuk!

YANBU. Facing the wall is too good for them. They should be up against said wall and facing a firing squad.

YANBU I am so with you on this. When adults do this I cannot understand why:

a) No-one ever tried to teach them any differently growing up
b) They didn't notice for themselves how everyone else they meet eats without making a god awful noise.

I used to sit opposite someone at work who always chomped away enthusiastically at his lunch with his mouth wide open. It was a horrendous sight. Then, and I always assumed that this was linked and that because of the way he ate he took in a great deal of air, he would sit and burp away all afternoon.

YA so NBU! My gran does the talking with food in your mouth thing. My mum has beautiful table manners that she drilled into me and DB. I put it down to boarding school. I cannot stand to be at the table with DGM!

will have to bribe persuade DD1 to say something to great-granny!

Face the wall?/ Give them a bowl outside the back door.

definately NBU
dislike all of the above
firing squad at wall and fed by back door

can i add elbows on tables

Sorry op, I forgot to say, yanbu at all!

That wall should have a mirror though and headphones that play their gross noises on loop.

Oh GOD! I am so glad I am not alone. My Dad's table manners are so disgusting that I cannot bear to eat at the same table as him. He does that thing where he shovels it in, talking all the while and bots of food flying everywhere, whilst his loaded fork is hovering close by his mouth. UUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!

I had a go at him about it years ago, and he made me feel really guilty, saying that when he was working he had 20 minutes for lunch and to get some fresh air, so he learned to eat quickly and cannot break the habit.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE NOW THAT HE IS RETIRED!!!!

He lives on his own now, so there's no one to pick him up on it. He also burps and farts like an incontinent hippo

... and slurpy snogging on the train! I feel my fury rising and rising.

In fact, any mouth-related noises drive me mad. I do not want to know what goes on inside your mouth!

They should eat in another room because the sound is even worse than the sight .

YANBU

My ears, oh my ears. It hurts to hear and see

Argh, I was going to post something in this section asking whether I was being unreasonable about bringing up my DH's open-mouthed eating, but obviously not. It makes my skin crawl, but every time I mention it he gets all defensive and upset so I have to suffer in disgusting slobbery silence...

You know when you periodically swallow the spit in your mouth? My dad does this terrible thing where he seems to swill it all round his mouth before gulping it noisily down. My blood pressure sky rockets every time he does it :(