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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish Mother's Day would just naff off

12 replies

Rhubarbgarden · 08/03/2012 23:27

I lost my mum nine years ago. I've found Mother's Day a toughie ever since, with ads up everywhere and spam constantly shouting 'tell your mum she's special' etc etc. I hoped it might get easier when I had a baby and became a mother myself, because the focus would change. But tonight I've just had a text from my friend whose nanny my dd shares two days a week, because she's just remembered we are going away for a week and wants the address of where we're staying so she can post three Mother's Day cards the nanny has got dd to make, so I've got time to post two of them to dd's grandmothers. The mental image of dd sitting making a card for my Mum has reduced me to a blubbering wreck for most of this evening. I could have done without this.

OP posts:
Valpollicella · 08/03/2012 23:31

Rhubard, that so sad. I'm sorry for your loss Sad

Could you remember your mum on Mothers Day with something...? Her card from DD, a candle and flowers all together? Im sorry if that sounds like a shit idea. Im sure someone else will have more advice.

I wish you strength. I can't imagine how you must feel

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2012 23:37

Aww that's so sad for you, I'm sorry Sad

Mother's Day's not great for me either to be honest

I split with Ex DH on Mother's Day 12yrs ago.

The following year on MD, my sister died suddenly (age 36)...leaving 2 young DD's behind.

The following MD after that was the last time I saw my Mum alive as she died after a very brief battle with cancer, exactly a week later. I had just found out I was pregnant with DS3 and she was so happy.

But all in all I suppose it's taught me that no matter how sad these things are, I (as a Mother) can still find something to be happy about, because the kids get so excited about making me cards and bringing me crap breakfast in bed.

You'll learn to deal with it OP...though sometimes, something will happen like that to set you back a bit.

But ultimately, you'll get through it Smile

Sorry for the waffle Blush

troisgarcons · 08/03/2012 23:46

I never like March these days.

My mum died in the first week, My (now dead) fathers the second week, Mums burial the third week, followed by mothers day. It is a cruddy month only lifted by spring flowers popping through.

blonderthanred · 08/03/2012 23:46

So sorry to hear it. I always feel so much for those of my friends who have lost Mums on MD, especially with all the endless fb statuses people write.

Sending you unMN-y hugs.

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2012 23:49

trois Sad

TheFarSide · 08/03/2012 23:55

YANBU - I also lost my mum recently.

It wouldn't be so bad, but Mothers' Day is more about certain businesses making as much money as possible rather than about appreciating mothers.

startail · 08/03/2012 23:56

Sorry for your loss,
My DMIL died 12 years ago this summer.

Didn't stop DH crying over some silly memory at Christmas. Doesn't stop me crying when the cowslips appear. (She had a mad cowslip in the middle of her lawn that flowered at random).

Hugs and hugs to all the DCs who have lost their Mothers. (my Brownies had to do tactful Mother's Day giftsSad)

Rhubarbgarden · 09/03/2012 00:14

Thanks all. I'm blubbing even more now at your sad stories Sad. The commercial stuff is just low level attrition really, like a mildly painful headache that you wish would just go away, but I can deal with it. But this card thing was like standing on a rake and being hit between the eyes - didn't see it coming and it's really got me. Worra you are right there will always be stuff like this, like your cowslips Startail. Trois, let's focus on those spring flowers.

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WorraLiberty · 09/03/2012 00:20

"standing on a rake and being hit between the eyes"

That's a perfect way to describe something like that...it just springs up out of the blue.

Don't be afraid to lick your wounds for a little while

Sometimes that helps to put us back on track and realise that we're carrying on the Mother's Day 'tradition' for our kids to enjoy fussing over us Smile

When I'm knee deep in badly made boiled eggs and toast... and weak tea in bed (not that I've ever eaten breakfast in my life!)

I'll try to remind myself of that Grin

Rhubarbgarden · 09/03/2012 00:27

Grin Worra. Dd is too young for that yet, but I'm sure I shall have lots of pretending to be grateful ahead!

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WorraLiberty · 09/03/2012 00:33

Oh believe me you will! Grin

I'm perfectly aware of how skanky I'm about to make myself sound now but....

One year my DS's brought me brekkie in bed and DH (knowing I don't eat breakfast) encouraged them out of the room with some excuse about helping him write a card.

I hid the eggs and toast in my side cabinet...then came downstairs full of praise about how lovely it was and how I'd eaten every morsel...

Only to forget about it till over a week later, when I suddenly realised why there was such a foul smell in the bedroom Blush

And also why the dog kept wandering in and staring intently at the drawer...

Rhubarbgarden · 09/03/2012 00:43

Grin Grin Grin

Thank you for that - you've really cheered me up! I think I can go to sleep now and stop dwelling for a while

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