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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this has to be one of the most effects of the cuts

73 replies

Memoo · 08/03/2012 12:10

Refuge are in serious danger of closing because of funding cuts. Women are already being turned away and they could completely close their doors by the summer if they can't raise funds.

What the hell is going on when our government turns its back on abused women and children?

Their CEO is quoted in the guardian as saying this is the most worried she has been in 30 years!

OP posts:
flippinada · 08/03/2012 19:16

This is very Angry and Sad making.

HarrietSchulenberg · 08/03/2012 19:23

It's nothing new, unfortunately. 15 years ago my friend was turned away as there was no space for her. Not sure if it was Refuge but the organisation had worked with her to plan a safe escape from her violent partner, and when she actually did it (at a prearranged date and time) they said they had no-where for her as there had suddenly been an influx of other women of higher priority than her. Bearing in mind that her neck was black and blue from where her shit of a partner had tried to strangle her as she slept, the thought of what the higher priority women had been through is terrifying.

She ended up on my sofa until a place was found for her, so at least she was safe, but every single thing she owned was in her tiny car.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/03/2012 19:25

Appalling. I feel another great froth coming on. I just feel so helpless in the face of all this. They're just shooting down all the sitting ducks one by one.

Snowsister · 08/03/2012 19:26

Shocking.

Original poster
Memoo · 08/03/2012 20:54

I'm going to set up a dd to donate to them monthly

Im so angry about this. My stomach has been in knots today. I just don't know what to do about it. Maybe we should ask Hq if they have any ideas.

OP posts:
NanaASH · 08/03/2012 20:58

The Tories are realy living up to thier 'Nasty Party' name

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/03/2012 21:10

I reckon this is worthy of much more attention. OP - you should start another thread with more details in the title, I think a lot of people are missing this one :(

Fucking Tories. When's the next election?

Original poster
Memoo · 08/03/2012 21:14

Have just posted a thread in site stuff asking if he can do anything to help. I'm going to post in a few other places too until I get everyone's attention.

OP posts:
Original poster
Memoo · 08/03/2012 21:15

Next election isn't soon enough. Bastard Tories are going to destroy the very soul of our country by then.

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/03/2012 21:22

Memoo - if you posted in relationships with 'Tories cutting funds to shelters could mean they will close' you'd get a million responses.

neuroticmumof3 · 08/03/2012 21:44

A large refuge in Newbury is closing at the end of the month due to lack of funds. It's tragic.

DrCoconut · 08/03/2012 21:59

I don't have enough money to make much difference as it takes sustained income to run a refuge, but as a survivor of DV I feel really sad and worried about this. I never needed a refuge but so so many do.

marriedinwhite · 08/03/2012 22:00

Can I quietly ask where the families of some of the abused women are please. Why is it always the government's responsibility? Where are their parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc..

There would always be a place here for my dd and when a dear friend was suffering, not badly but unacceptably even so - the odd slap from a horrid husband. The spirit was ebbing out of her and she called after a fight and aftern he had stormed out. We packed some bags and I drove her and her boys three hundred miles to her parents. Was many many years ago now.

HeadfirstForHalos · 08/03/2012 22:05

This is a disgrace. I can't afford much but will see if I can set up a dd for a few pounds.

married many abused women don't have anyone to turn to.

latebreakfast · 08/03/2012 22:14

Aren't these services being cut by local councils? Yet they can still afford to pay a whole host of Chief Executives and directors six figure salaries?

ParkView · 08/03/2012 22:18

married- families often collude with abuser or enable, ignore, or sweep it under the carpet.

IAmBooyhoo · 08/03/2012 22:20

married a very common pattern with abused women is that their abusers work very hard to alienate them from their families before the abuse gets so bad.

it is great that your DD can always come to you but remember that not all women are raised in loving secure families. sometimes the abuse is being carried out by someone in their family, sometimes the family dont want to know, a sort of "you made your bed" attitude. sometimes people dont have family at all. i know thsi might be hard to imagine but there are so many reasons why an abused woman has nowhere else to go. the cuts the govt are making are affecting the charities that provide that safe place. the govt are making these cuts, that is why the govt is being blamed for more women and children being left either homeless or at the mercy of their abusers.

Preggersntired · 08/03/2012 22:23

Put up & shut up?! That's horrific... Bumping.

BackPackBackPack · 08/03/2012 22:55

I was turned away at a refuge 2 times in 1 week, Police took my to the same refuge both times.

I was homeless and sleeping rough or squatting in a house. The men who was "looking" after me forced me into prostitution, hit, raped, tried to drown me, tried to push me in front of trains, anything to get me to do what they told me to do.

I had no family who I could turn to as I was dissowned (sp) by them as I suffered from PND after getting out of a DV relationship and Social Services removing my baby.

I was 19 years old and had no life in front of me. Luckily the policeman took pity on me when he saw me in the prostitute area again 24hours after he took me to a refuge, he took me to a new town and left me in the capable hands of a hostel worker (he knew her) and I was offered a room. Now 5 years later I have a nice house, loving DP and lovely DD. It could have been so much different if the nice policeman never "rescued" me. The refuge had places but I was not priority so I was sent back to the streets.

It would be even worse now especially if they have to close. Least I had 1 night away from bother and had a hot bath.

2shoes · 08/03/2012 22:59

sadly this was bound to happen the cuts have already affected Disabled people, so this doesn't surprise me, awful that the most vulnerable in society are being targeted,

caramelwaffle · 08/03/2012 23:02

Bump

edam · 08/03/2012 23:07

It's horrifying in a so-called civilised country.

Add this to the legal aid cuts... and women really will have no option but to stay and take the beatings.

IAmBooyhoo · 08/03/2012 23:33

Sad backpack.

thank you for sharing that. i am so glad you have found happiness and security in yor life. well done you for getting through such a tough time at sucha young age. take care xo

Original poster
Memoo · 09/03/2012 07:59

Have done that Jarerth, good idea thanks :)

Backpack, I'm so sorry for the horrific experience you went through. Just so relieved and impressed at you for turning your life around.

OP posts:
Archemedes · 09/03/2012 08:06

Its disgraceful

Has the goverment been challenged about this?

This is going to leave DV victims more vulnerable than they already are.

IMO a refuge should be seen as another emergency service, unfortunately not.

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