to have nearly lost it with toddler dd2?

[throwinshapes]

christ on a bike, I normally hold it together in the face of her adversity but tonight was one tantrum too many.
dd1 (age 5) was/ is a fairly placid compliable child and we never had to experience the proverbial 'two's terrible', so this is all new to us.
DP works abroad for two weeks on and two weeks off (as pay rate is doubled over there) and I work three 10 (sometimes more) hours, three days a week.
It started this morning with both dds getting up way too early (normally i get to wake quietly and at least have a cuppa and get halfway through my bath) and both being tired, demandy and grumpy.

In a nut shell, the carpet got shat on (my fault for not replacing the wayward nappy that had fallen off as I was still trying to get out of the bath) dd2 was swiftly bathed (separate water as i had drained mine), and point refused to get out. Meltdown ensued. Kicking, hitting (!) and going blue in the face. For a while.Inconsolable. Still, i held it together without getting too stressed.
Left for work feeling I'd done a full day already.
So, tonight. Both girls are knackered when I pick them up at 6.15 from the CM. In fairness dd1 realises that i'm tired and calms down.
After dinner (of beans on toast- cos i'm too shagged to contemplate anything adventurous) we have story time. Dd2 wants the same book we have had every night for the past 5 weeks (as she would) and dd2 wants another. So read dd2 her book while dd1 get her PJs on. All is fine.
Dd1 and I then read her story (and pick out the keywords that she's doing very well learning). Dd2 then wants a woodpeckery thing that is not a toy, and I said 'No' (in hindsight should have given her the fucker but don't want her to grow up thinking that she can have everything that she wants just cos she demands it).
Meltdown ensues. Screaming (poor dd1 does not get all of her story- which is ok cos she's tired too), hitting (after which she wouldn't apologise or receive a cuddle), basically exorcist behaviour is full on. Wouldn't have a cuddle. Wouldn't go upstairs to bed.
So here's the crux. By this stage I was soooo tired and dd2's incessant, red faced screeching, I, at that point, became unable to behave as the rational mother that I usually am and snatched her up (pretty roughly) shouted at her (seeing red and so angry) and yoinked her up the stairs. I've never been so angry, I dont think.
My principles are such that I would never smack my children as (clearly) its a shite and unlightened form of discipline. Fuck I was so close though.
I phoned my dp in tears as I was so ashamed of my behaviour.
Please tell me I am not a loony who needs anger management.

Yesterday DS had a mega tantrum because I wouldn't let him poke at the TV. On and off it went on for about 3 hours and culminated in me losing my temper and telling him Bob the Builder had emigrated to Australia.
I feel quite bad for being so horrible but as Fanjo says we're all human and tomorrow's an other day.

What is the woodpecker thing?

Oh Crusty!

YANBU. I've done it loads of times and I only have one. She's very like me, that's the problem

I do berate myself for being the worst mummy in the world so threads like this kind of make me feel better.

Have you tried introducing reward charts, naughty chair? I also make a game out of everything she has to do - dress, bath, bed, food etc. It takes longer but its better than tantrums!

I think we have most of us been there. YANBU.

I shouted at my toddler DD when she complained I'd put her porridge in the wrong bowl.

Woodpecker is a professor Yaffle-esq wooden thingy that sits on a shelf with legs dangling!
As I said should have handed her the fecker.
Thanks again for all your reassuring messages x
Just finished work so will be grumpy in the morn. Shall endeavour to keep it together today, however

Well yesterday after a fraught day in the rain, getting vaccinations and then having to do a food shop, I was trying to put together a toy garage for DS. he kept screaming and trying to get at said garage, then kept pushing another toy into it and screaming some more. After a few "Please just let me do this DS" I snapped and just went "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WILL YOU JUST LET ME DO THIS" and he burst into tears. So did I. I tried to hug him and he said "NO".

Awful.

But as it was said above, I consoled myself that I am teaching him that there is a line, people are fallible and also that when you do something mean you apologise!

Ozzie- I feel for you.
Try as we might, we can not be automatons!

Oh this thread is so reassuring. My DD is in full trantrum mode at least once a day at the moment (just turned 2) and my DH thinks I am awful for just letting her lie on the carpet screaming (any attempt to pick her up involves hitting and a worse state) until she runs out of steam. He says I am being callous. I dont really agree with the fact that he appeases her and gives her whatever she wants (chocolate, ridiculous toy, to run off with his i-phone, not go out) to get her to stop.

Don't worry. I hurled DS1's shoes down the hallway the other day while screaming like a banshee....

This thread is definitely making me feel better. DS, 9mo, is teething and not, I repeat NOT, sleeping on a night. I am utterly exhausted. On top of that, I have a 4yo DD going on 40 and, whilst she is a wee angel, she procrastinates about everything - literally everything.

After a 5 minute procrastination over whether or not to put her school shoes on, I heard myself screeching like a fishwife saying to her this morning, 'For the love of all things holy, will you please just put your bloody shoes on!'. She replied, 'Mummy, you only had to ask! Oh, and there's no blood on my shoes, just so you know...'

DS learnt to say: "@h for Fuck's sake!" thanks to our weetabix battles shortly before dd was born.

I have been to work and burst into tears at the sheer awfulness of parenting a toddler.

Oh this thread has made me feel a bit better!Major falling out with my 8 year old last night as he wouldnt do his homework.Id had a crap day at work. He was tired and I ended up screaming at him like some possessed women! Lots of tears and hugs and me appologising. Still feel really awful and I can still see the look on his face as the tears welled up in his little eyes! : 0 (

Poor you OP, that sounds like a nightmare. You have seen by the replies so far that you are not alone. Children are incredibly irritating. Mine are no exception and I have totally lost it on occasion too.

I must admit to being quite surprised at quite how annoying children can be. I feel ill equipped to deal with it the majority of the time. They are just so bloody unreasonable!

YADNBU. Whatsoever. So please don't beat yourself up about it. Mums are human too!!!!!

I always console(d) myself with the fact that I was somehow teaching my DDs a few important life lessons

• people can be pushed over the edge and everyone has a breaking point
• Mummy can lose her temper but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you
• everyone needs to learn how to calm themselves down without outside influence
• families sometimes have conflict but still stick together in the end (hopefully)

Doesn't stop me from feeling like the Worst Mother Ever though when I lose it with them. Fortunately less and less now they are firmly out of the toddler phase! (8 and 5)

I slapped my hand so hard on the dining room table last night that it stung for ages afterwards and I can't even remember what terribly important information I was trying to get them to listen to.

I think I'm going to bookmark this thread as I seem to be on the verge of losing it constantly ATM, which is no fun for anyone.

at bunny's DD response and Team's phrase of the day. Should record these for posterity- they're classics!
I feel overwhelmingly empathised with

Thank you for this thread.